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it feels so horrible that I rethink some actions that I did once and on...
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it feels so horrible that I rethink some actions that I did once and once again!!its killing me!!

Due to a HIV fear,right now I think im a little bit squeamish,Im scared of hotels sheets,the toilet,any public share from things, so many insane thoughts,even deep inside I know im just being over paranoid but I just cant help it,any time my mind is going insane,think about this think about that,even the HIV forum people say I DO NO HAVE ANY RISK AT ALL,NO WORRY,MOVE ON,but I just cantttttt!!!when I sleep I think about,anytime,anywhere may place me in a HIV fear position.....I will think what I touched what I did in public places may cause me get  HIV.CAN SOMEBODY HELP ME??????THIS IS SO SUFFERING.i feel like my mind will go exploded anytime!!!!!
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1699033_tn?1405352675
The HIV forum people are correct in that you have no risk from any of the things you described such as toilet seats, hotel seats, etc.  The virus simply cannot be transmitted this way, if it could, then we would all be infected.  This is what you have to remind yourself of.  

Now on to what you do have.  You have HIV irrational thoughts.  Irrational thoughts are a component of OCD, however, I'm not sure that you would be diagnosed with OCD but rather with HIV anxiety.  

There are a few things you can do.  The first way is to learn CBT or cognitive behavioral therapy.  This is usually taught by a psychologist.  Basically it consists of breathing exercises to calm yourself down when you "feel like your mind will explode anytime."  It also helps with learning ways to replace those negative thoughts with positive ones.  Journaling is usually a good thing to do.  You write down the negative thought such as "I can't touch that hotel sheet, I might get HIV" and next to it you write the positive thought "HIV cannot be transmitted by hotel sheets therefore I have nothing to worry about."  Writing things down can be very therapeutic.  

Lastly, there is the medication route.  There are quite a few anti-depressant medications that are used to treat OCD and anxiety.  Basically the same medication will treat both disorders.  You can talk to your GP but really you should go through a psychiatrist for medication.  

So if I were you, and believe me I have been where you are at, I would start with the psychiatrist first.  They can get you on some medications that will help you combat these thoughts and calm you down.  Once you have gotten to that point, you can then learn CBT so that when you go off the meds, if you choose to do so, you are ready in case you have problems.  

HIV anxiety is one of the most common anxieties out there.  Having HIV would change a person's life profoundly and that is why I think we worry about it so much.  But just remember, think about the flu virus and how easily that spreads.  HIV is nothing like that, not even remotely.  You would have to have  a direct exchange of body fluids from an infected person straight into your body.  No sheets, no doorknobs, nothing.  

Best of luck and post again if you need anything else.  Sometimes we just need a bit of compassion.  
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1806750_tn?1323313642
maybe you need to read it in a scientific journal or from a source that you trust and know to be true.  You cannot get HIV by touching something that a person with HIV touched.  Same goes for saliva.  
HIV is passed through sexual transmission with someone who is HIV positive, especially if engaging in unprotected sex. HIV can be passed by shared needles/dirty needles as well.  
If you have not engaged in these activities, you should not be worried.  If you have in the past, for your own wellbeing, you should get an HIV test at your local health department agency or even your primary doctor can test you.  We've all done stupid things in our life that we realize later could have an impact on our health.  Just get tested so this agonizing worry and obsession will be no longer.  That is no way to live and I think getting tested is a smart and responsible thing to do anyway.  Good luck to you
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1699033_tn?1405352675
Beautifully said Amy!
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Avatar_m_tn
Thank  u,i think i will probably go to a psychologist first,cause it is really  driving me insane...and I think i need medications!!!nothing else can ease my mind at this pointttt.Im so scared..im always paranoid about people would be mean to set me up to get hiv or they just do everything to let u get hiv,and I always think what if the hotel didnt change the sheets from the previous guest?and there were still some semen or body fluids remained on that sheets??and I touched it,,,omgg I just cant get enough!!!Im so sick of IT!
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Avatar_m_tn
Thank you amy!!!all the people from HIV forum said I dont even need a test from my case,not even in any exposure at alll!!but im still worried,im even scared of clinics needles or lancets,omggg i feel like im almost psycho or mental!!!!
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Avatar_f_tn
I read every last one of these comments..but I am still tripping! I have had unprotected sex but only with one guy recently, and I have been having anxiety bc ive had this fear since I was little! Tht and the fact I was in a relationship with this guy who I thought I trusted n he lied habitually about his past! I stressed to him about my fear of hiv n he assured me I was fine n he was negative. I lived in an apartment tht had mold growing in my air vents and got really sick, stomach pains, hot flashes,weight loss and some flu symptoms but immediately accused him of giving me hiv so I waited and got tested. I was negative but im still convinced I have it bc my step mom told me it could b invisible r lie dormant for awhile! Im so scared I have two beautiful babies and im currently talking to my high school sweetheart and id die if I hurt him and had to live with the fact my babies would grow up without me... Really scared and dnt kno how r y im still having symptoms if im not affected. Can ur brain actually convince your body ur sick and make symptoms..i even have acne now and I had some white on my tounge but it went away..but im scared I think about it every day alll day I dnt even let my kids drink r eat after me.. Its so depressing. I told my sweetie but he thinks im looney too. Help! Wat should I do?? I just want happiness!
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Avatar_m_tn
Hey i understand what you are going thru exactly,i mean u got the test done right??and it came back NEGATIVE right???then u shouldnt be worried!!!!so when was your last sex with that guy??and when did you get your test done????
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Avatar_f_tn
Yea I got it done n im scared again so im going to have another tomorrow.:( I got my last test 6 months ago n I had sex recently but hes my high school sweetheart...:( I am only with him n I may be pregnant so here I go again... Im very nervous bc ive loved him all my life n if I have this I dnt kno how id live normally. Ive been afraid of hiv for as long as I knew about sex... I will post my results tho...as soon as I get them
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