losing my mind

[obsessed000]

Is anyone around to read my recent post  in this forum. I really need someone's input as to whether or not something is a real thing thing or not

[Mogley123]

I am positive that you would have remembered if you did something bad or if something bad happened to you. Doubting things is common in OCD. That's why we check things over and over and ask people for reassurance time and time again. But you know that you would never cheat on your boyfriend. Your not going to randomly kiss someone in the bathroom and not remember. It honestly would not happen. You really have nothing to worry about. Trust me.

[EllaMari]

Do you remember your first kiss? Probably. Do you remember what color underwear you were wearing when you had your first kiss? Probably not. Your brain cannot handle mundane memories it needs space to remember important things. Our species would have never survived of we remembered unhelpful things like what we ate for dinner 5 years ago over important things like, bears will eat your face off.

If you cheated on your boyfriend you would have been upset at the time. You would have thought about it more than once. Your brain would have recognized the significance and turned it into a memory.

[obsessed000]

Thanks for getting back to me. So you really think I would remember if I did something bad such as randomly kissed or did anything with another person or if they walked up to me or something? I don't have to worry about cheating? It's something I would never do why do I have to stress over this. It's just so scary that I don't remember certain stuff so my mind is making up what ifs. :*( how come I can't remember certain stuff but you say if something did happen like what I am stressing over, I would remember?  What's the difference? I certainly was not falling or throwing up or slurring. Just was tipsy.

[Mogley123]

This is not a real thing. This is your OCD. For sure!  Your thoughts are extremely irrational. You would remember if something really bad happened. You are just not remembering little things because they were non issues. If something really upsetting happened you would remember. And just because you don't remember doesn't mean that you weren't making choices. Unless you were totally out of it and I mean slurring, falling down, throwing up then you weren't out of control. You would still be able to decide things. You are feeling bad that you get too drunk and don't remember stuff. When you feel the high anxiety and there is no real reason for it your mind starts creating "what if" scenarios to try to explain that level of anxiety. A person who didn't have ocd would say to themselves " wow..how did I get so drunk? I can't remember some stuff. I'll have to watch how much I drink next time" and that would be the end of it.  You have taken this to a whole different level. You need to take a deep breath, then another deep breath and calm down. Just because you don't remember every detail of the night does not mean you were out of control. Everything is fine. Get some sleep. You'll feel better tomorrow.