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ocd, meds. usually work but getting worse lately
I have been to HELL and back with OCD. I have found that luvox has been a life saver but I'm going through hard times and my ocd is getting worse. I want to up my dose but since I only have a medi-clinic doctor, I'm not sure if he'll let me. He was trying to push me to see the mental health nurse, so I finally did. What every gp wants is for me to see a psychiatrist. First of all, it takes months to be on a referral list and then you have to tell them your life story AGAIN. Then they are too busy to see you and so are psychologists so they want to stick you in group therapy. Been there, done that. I am a private person, ocd is a PRIVATE DISEASE and i don't want to share the things I'm most ashamed of with a big group of people much less the a-holes (psychologists and psychiatrists) who are on their high horse. I lost my Dad in May and within 2 weeks, my Grandma passed away. My main for ocd is saying things that are too personal to my sister or constantly asking for reassurance about everything. I have a big thing about guilt too. I am also very anti-social lately and do not want to leave the house. I went shopping the other day and for 3 days after, all i wanted to do was sleep. I have poor health, had gallbladder taken out and now have fatty liver. Gained weight because of endometriosis and look pregnant. Don't want anyone to see me. So tired all the time...wish I could just sleep and sleep. Holidays make my ocd worse because of all the traditions i feel i have to keep.
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Thanks, I'm glad you've found things that have helped you. I'm not sure sometimes what is ocd and what isn't. For example, anytime I have to leave the house (not just for a walk but to be seen in public), if I make an appointment (like tomorrow I have to see the dentist) I AM SO NERVOUS, EVEN FROM THE TIME I MAKE THE APPOINTMENT!! Do you know if this is agoraphobia? Its not like I'm SCARED something will happen to me. I just don't want to leave the house....sometimes, even for walks. But I get so overwhelmed, seeing the dentist isn't as bad as shopping but going ANYWHERE---I don't want to get ready I don't want to make decisions and when I get home I feel SUCH relief...you can't imagine. I don't know what's happening to me. Its like, since I lost my Dad and Grandma in early summer, I feel like I can't remember doing anything but sleeping....ALL SUMMER. Now the holidays...I've always LOVED the holidays and still do but its going to seem so different because really, I haven't gotten over losing my Uncle 5 years ago...now its like all of a sudden, half my family won't be here this Christmas, no call to wish me happy birthday Nov. 17th. I don't want to take about it to a "professional" , they can't bring them back and anytime I talk about it to my sisters or Mom, I just feel drained, not better. If it wasn't for my twin sister living with me and sharing the same sense of humor and loving to laugh...I don't know what I'd do. And my cat, Daisy is a blessing. Of course I'm grateful for my sisters and my Mom, its just that I miss the others SOOOO much. Others have to go through this and I know this. I will have to get through this too but it won't be easy. Thank-you for being here, I appreciate it!!
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hi, sorry because of my weak english. i am ocd. my mother was a ppms patient. she was a bed bond at home and i exposure to her urine or her feces for cleaning some times. she passed away 2 years ago and after that i was diagnosed with rrms i start living with my husband in same house with old furniture. now i am scared that my husband get ppms as he lives in same way. please help me. i bought cyanide tablet for suicide i am too tired i dont know what should i do. i cant touch any thing in my home
Well I for one can sympathize because OCD is really, really difficult and it does help to tell someone what is bothering you. I have a sister that I used to call all the time and I think that while they want to help and be there for us, it does get old after a while for them so that is why we have to learn to help ourselves.
Trust me when I say that I have a huge list of stupid irrational things that my mind got stuck on, that I then forward thought and catastrophized to the point where I felt like I was going to explode. That desperate feeling is just so overwhelming.
In any case, I do a couple of things. The first thing I do is controlled breathing because let's face it, it is hard to think clearly when our minds are jumping all over the place. Once I calm down, I then start self-coaching. For instance, I have this thing about having panic attacks when I'm driving and of course I start to think about it and then it may come on so now when it comes into my head I say "whatever" and "bring it on, I can handle it" and usually that stops the panic from coming. I'm not afraid of it anymore and even if it does happen, I know from past experience that it is fleeting and will go away and I'll be fine. What I absolutely do not do is give in and pull over. So if a compulsion comes along, don't give in. You called them latent compulsions because they are gone and they are gone because you changed something in the way you think or the way you act. And if you can do it once you can do it again.
I have heard that it is difficult to get psychiatric help when socialized medicine is in use. The referalls, the time it takes to then see somebody. Since you have been on the medication for a long time, it could be that your body has become used to it and you do need a dosage increase. If you are really suffering, then you may want to get that referral just to talk about a medication increase or a switch altogether.
We are never going to be OCD free therefore we have to learn to live with OCD, how to manage OCD, learn how to not be afraid of the thoughts because they are irrational and meaningless and this can be done....I'm proof of that. Your first step is to say to yourself "I'm going to be a positive person" and replace all those negative statements that come into your head with positive ones. Also, have you ever tried meditation? I used it for the first time last year and it was just some video on YouTube and it really, really relaxed me. I felt like I was part of the couch when I was done so maybe give that a try.
Trust me when I say that I have a huge list of stupid irrational things that my mind got stuck on, that I then forward thought and catastrophized to the point where I felt like I was going to explode. That desperate feeling is just so overwhelming.
In any case, I do a couple of things. The first thing I do is controlled breathing because let's face it, it is hard to think clearly when our minds are jumping all over the place. Once I calm down, I then start self-coaching. For instance, I have this thing about having panic attacks when I'm driving and of course I start to think about it and then it may come on so now when it comes into my head I say "whatever" and "bring it on, I can handle it" and usually that stops the panic from coming. I'm not afraid of it anymore and even if it does happen, I know from past experience that it is fleeting and will go away and I'll be fine. What I absolutely do not do is give in and pull over. So if a compulsion comes along, don't give in. You called them latent compulsions because they are gone and they are gone because you changed something in the way you think or the way you act. And if you can do it once you can do it again.
I have heard that it is difficult to get psychiatric help when socialized medicine is in use. The referalls, the time it takes to then see somebody. Since you have been on the medication for a long time, it could be that your body has become used to it and you do need a dosage increase. If you are really suffering, then you may want to get that referral just to talk about a medication increase or a switch altogether.
We are never going to be OCD free therefore we have to learn to live with OCD, how to manage OCD, learn how to not be afraid of the thoughts because they are irrational and meaningless and this can be done....I'm proof of that. Your first step is to say to yourself "I'm going to be a positive person" and replace all those negative statements that come into your head with positive ones. Also, have you ever tried meditation? I used it for the first time last year and it was just some video on YouTube and it really, really relaxed me. I felt like I was part of the couch when I was done so maybe give that a try.
Thanks for getting back to me!! Since I have been on my psych. meds for years, my medi-clinic doc (which I call my gp because no doctors are taking new patients) figures since a psychiatrist prescribed them in the first place, he just continues to give me refills. The health nurse was a dud because I told her that sometimes I don't thing my "doctor" takes me seriously (even for ear problems or other healh issues) because I tell him something and he just says, it could be this or that but he doesn't FIX IT. Canada's health care system is ****!!! I waited 10 in the er one time and many other hours other times. I mostly have trouble with obsessions and my compulsion is to "tell" my sister but it is usually something that will upset her or make her nervous too and the only way I seem to get out of the horrific anxiety attack is if I tell her. The anxiety subsides for a few minutes....till she gets angry at me for telling her because she never knows when I am going to say something to upset her. I understand and I feel like **** for doing this to not only me but esp TO HER. I've tried writing it down, I've tried saying it in my head (as if i told her), and I've even said it quietly in a room when I was alone. Hell, I've even told MY MOM but its not the same as telling her and it makes my life and her life hell. Lately it hasn't been about obsessions, its been about reassurance...always asking if "its okay if I do this or that?" I get this vocal tic when I'm by the computer that is embarrassing...but i don't do it all the time, I never know when I feel like I'll have to do it. I have about 3 books on ocd, one is called "brainlock" and is esp. helpful...but sometimes I find TRYING to stop my ocd is worse...it makes me do it that much more. I have heard of and even seen the ocd workbook but it made me nervous...I didn't want to stir up any latent obsessions or compulsions (big time compulsion is that things have to be even (food, etc. and things have to be put away just so.). Anyway, the nurse was suggesting GROUP THERAPY and i said I've tried that and i feel more comfortable talking one on one. There is this place called the family centre and I have seen different people there before and they have always been students (which I like because it seems like they care more and have to SHOW they care because this is like their "work experience" thing) but they have helped me the most. The only thing is you can only talk about one topic and see them 10 times. So, I've found, just when I was starting to get somewhere, boom, you're done. Like I said, health care *****.Sorry, just have a lot on my mind right now...i feel bad for being so negative.
Hi there...I understand about the privacy thing and so I don't think I would be comfortable in a group setting either. What did the mental health nurse do? Was it just suggesting you go to see a psychologist/psychiatirst? Can she see that you are suffering and talk to the medi-clinic doctor and talk him/her into upping your meds? Here in the states I don't think we would get any psych meds from a medi-clinic so we are left with our general practitioners (mine is very good and like you I've been down the psychology/psychiatry road before) or the psych doctors.
Can I ask, have they taught you cognitive behavioral therapy so that you can calm yourself down when you are going from one thing to the next?
Also, have you ever used the book The OCD Workbook: Your Guide to Breaking Free of OCD? It has a lot of great techniques in it and I highly recommend it if you can pick it up.
It seems that you have a lot of health issues that are leading to self-esteem issues and staying in the house is not going to help. So maybe you should think about seeing somebody since it seems to me that not only your mental health but your physical health is taking a toll on your life.
Take care.
Can I ask, have they taught you cognitive behavioral therapy so that you can calm yourself down when you are going from one thing to the next?
Also, have you ever used the book The OCD Workbook: Your Guide to Breaking Free of OCD? It has a lot of great techniques in it and I highly recommend it if you can pick it up.
It seems that you have a lot of health issues that are leading to self-esteem issues and staying in the house is not going to help. So maybe you should think about seeing somebody since it seems to me that not only your mental health but your physical health is taking a toll on your life.
Take care.
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