Ovarian Cancer Community
Childish behavior on this site
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This patient support community is for discussions relating to ovarian cancer, biopsy, chemotherapy, clinical trials, genetics, hysterectomy, immunotherapy, radiation therapy, screening, and staging.

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Childish behavior on this site

I have been reading the ridicuolus posts that have been posted...I need to know now if am I welcome on this site even though I DO NOT HAVE OVCA! I have been a member of this site for over a year and I was very lucky not to have OVCA BUT I try to offer my support to those that need me..I CARE DEEPLY ABOUT ALL MY FRIENDS HERE!!! I am on here to give back what I have received and have felt the pain of all those whose lives are affected by this dreadful disease!! I came on here not knowing where my surgery was going to lead me and even though I didnt have cancer I did have numerous complications and numerous issues. I have grown very fond of the women on here but I am appalled at how some of the anger is coming out to new members. I see that some of the posts are insensitive but I for one do not think anything posted is intentional at all...If there is something that doesnt pertain to this situation than we can redirect the poster to the correct forum for the correct answers rather than act so mean and nasty. I am getting the feeling that maybe I shouldn't be posting here .....I feel that is the message that is coming across to all of us that do not have ovca..if that is the case I will  miss all of you that I think of and hope all goes well for all of you. I would hope to think that MY Prayers meant something to all of you on here...Gia :)
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20 Comments
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272338_tn?1252284004
Gia,
  I think a lot of it is directed to new posters who come on here with questions that none of us can answer. I mean, why come to a cancer forum when all you want to talk about is pregnancy? There are a lot of other forums here that some of these people can go to. Anyone who has had a cancer scare can relate to all of us. I know that I for one appreciate the thoughts and prayers from all of you who know and understand what we are going through.
Love Chris
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10947_tn?1281407852
Hi,

If there is a problem with off-topic posts, and in a lot of our forums this is an issue, on the question itself, if you use the "Report This" and select "Miscategorized" that will send an alert to our moderator staff. From there we can simply move it out of here and into the appropriate community.

Obviously, any member is welcome here to discuss Ovarian Cancer issues or to take part in the conversation. Misplaced posts happen all the time, but we can take care of it for you. Just let us know. Thanks!

MedHelp
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187666_tn?1331176945
MedHelp - That's good to know. I thought "report this" was just for spam or obscene posts. Thanks for the help in this.

Gia - I don't have cancer either but I have a couple friends with ovarian cancer. I'm staying so I can learn as well as offer support, kindness and compassion. I do believe that is always welcome on this board. It's just the oddball things that have been popping up lately that are disrupting things.
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107366_tn?1305683975
How are we ever going to get past all this if we keep drilling it into the ground over and over?  Talk about beating a dead horse!  Can we for once express an opinion and move on?  Gia, I am not trying to make you feel unwelcome, nor would I ever try to make anyone else feel unwelcome.  No one ever asked anyone to leave and never talk to a soul on this site again.  Part of what makes this site is the support given from one member to another, and as such, friendships develop.  Nothing done here or anywhere else can break those bonds.  But how many posts on this are we going to have to endure before it's over?  For goodness sakes, this is an Ovarian Cancer site, not a daycare!  I'm not here to offend anyone.  I really didn't want to post on the subject either way, because I don't want to take sides.  But can we PLEASE get back to the subject at hand?  

Gail  
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Avatar_f_tn
Hi, I didn't know the "report this" was meant for re-directing either... thank you for that.

And I'm happy to know that there are lovely ladies moving all over forums offering prayer, because it is vital to our health and happiness, not to mention our heavenly experience!

God Bless,
Morrowville
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155056_tn?1333642288
Everyone is welcome and coming from the point of view that the best defense we have against this disease is early detection, I think that we are doing a diservice and cutting off people from being educated on ovarian cancer.  Reality is, until someone has a biopsy, we don't know if the cyst, tumor or mass is benign.  And hey, we support and help one person that has a benign mass, hopefully they will have learned enough about this disease and the signs and symptoms to educate someone else.  
This isn't just a place to ***** and moan and complain...it is also about education, research and promoting awareness.
There has and always will be some people that are offended by what someone else posts, but, the way I see it....everyone is welcome here, everyone is welcome to learn about this disease and everyone is welcome to gain and education.  I say that if you do not want to answer a post, or you feel it doesn't belong, move on, don't respond...but, who are we to decide who belongs here and who doesn't.
I personally am sad that they have added a cyst forum, we have been instrumental in getting people to doctors and to the right doctors, possibly even saving lives....but, now that could be over.
Just my opinion.
Pam
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167426_tn?1254089835
Tongue in cheek reply, maybe  they need a separate site for Bloating,  and one for urinary frequency and pelivic pain, a woman goes to her family doctor complaining of any 1 or 2 of the signs of OVCA,  comes to the net and searchs for help, bloating will send her to IBS,  urinary problems  maybe UTI, pelvic pain, "wait and see" after the next period. ALL cancers start with masses, tumors, cysts and lesions. In order to spread the awareness that so many of us are dedicated to,  what better way to show our concerns than to work under one umbrella, OVCA. I agree with Pams post completely,  Yes, I agree that the forum is to be used by those with a dx of OVCA, to exchange info on new  and old treatments for their own situations, most of you already have the dx and are dealing with the myriad of complications it brings, but this has made you "teachers"  of the many that do not have your knowledge.  Do any of you feel comfortable with a select  forum dealing just with the googled Ovarian cysts?  What about the 5% that go there and receive no information about cancer? Will you be able to reach across  the length of time it may take them to come here?  Will they be directed to Onocologists?  Will they get the quick answer about what tests to ask for?  These women are scared. Maybe one answer might be for the caregivers to leave the end gate and go to the starting gate.  To promote early detection is what some of us feel is a good thing.  If I had known 5 months before Leslee got her dx, maybe she would have been dx at stage 1 , what I have learned since has been mostly from  you ladies and my research and I greatly appriciate it. But I cannot let others flounder the way she did.  I have dedicated  a lot of my time to research, passing it on to those that want to read it, not that most of it will benifit Leslee or me, but just in the chance it might help someone.  For instance, I posted the other day about the danger of freezing eggs prior to surgery, they have found that the eggs can contain cancer cells and can cause a recurrance, unless treated in a certain way, we have often told women about the process of freezing the eggs,  but now I find that might not be the best advice.  marty
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356929_tn?1246393356
I think that many will still end up on the OvCa site regardless of  how some may feel about it. I'm more than happy to share my experience about my BENIGN cyst, but I will most certainly suggest they visit the OVCA site if there is ANY question whatsoever and I'm sure the others will also. All I can suggest is what others have suggested before me; if a post isn't your "cup of tea", it may be important to someone else. Simply ignore it and move on. I have no intention of refraining from posting anywhere. These are public forums and I thank each and every one of you for the help you have given me and I intend to pass it on.. , Sandy
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Avatar_f_tn
You are the second person to express concern about the women on the cyst site not getting info about cancer, but I don't see the problem.  There is nothing to prevent you from responding to all their questions on that forum as well if you are really that concerned.
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167426_tn?1254089835
Paula, I am not fighting with you at all, my entire concern is for this forum and the addition of the cyst forum. I am really sick of the harsh words being said  on the OVCA forum and the damage and control it is causing . Please do not assume that I have the time and/or the energy to monitor several sites. All of the research  that I do is entirely directed to OVCA.  To make me feel unwelcome also is your choice.  Marty
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Avatar_f_tn
Please point out the "harsh words" in my post or where I am fighting with you.  You expressed a concern and I simply pointed out that this should not be an issue for concern as you and anyone else are free to post here and/or there.  Is this a true statement or not?  Please point out the "unwelcome" in the above words as well.  Please have the courtesy to support your criticism as I didn't intend to be harsh or unwelcoming and I still can't see that I was in the few words I wrote. I will be happy to apologize if you can show me where the harsh, unwelcome words are.
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155056_tn?1333642288
A perfect example of the problem with the ovarian cyst site.  There is a post menopausal women asking questions about cysts and hysterectomies....well, we all know that post menopausal cysts should not be taken lightly.  

I personally will not be checking two forums...I think that it is horrid that MedHelp's hands were forced into this huge mistake.    How many others will be mislead....I thought that we were doing the world a service, guess not, not anymore.
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Avatar_f_tn
I was one of the individuals who took the words of yesterday to heart.  Although I have decided to stay on the OVCA forum, I am embracing the Ovarian Cyst Forum.

Guess what?  I don't "fit in" in either forum, because I don't have OVCA, and I don't have ovaries anymore either.  The love, friendship, support and HUGE informative resources should be as widespread and available to all who are researching... from someone just looking to information on cysts, and some looking for info on OVCA.

I will try to be the best I can be for everyone...a cancer-free, ovary free, 46 year old fat chick.

Love you all,
me
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Avatar_f_tn
Just a thought, but for those concerned that women on the cyst page won't find the info -- why doesn't someone interested create a "health page" about it. Like "if you have this, this, or this -- " then go get see your doctor, or an oncologist and ask for "this, this and this -- " Then whoever is looking I'm sure would find that by googling it through the forum and you would have your name on their too -- so if they had questions they could send you a note or message asking you more about it. ~ Fran

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187666_tn?1331176945
It will take time to set up a health page but it might help. Still, the bottom line no matter which forum people visit, they need to see their doctor and be checked thoroughly. I know we need to be our own advocates at times. Those with experience can encourage that. Let's just see how the new board works out. If it's a dud, MedHelp can remove it. There will always be women that don't know which board to choose and will end up here or there or both. I see that on the heart boards. They set up a special rhythm board in addition to the heart disease board and people post on both. Oh well. Just people looking for help all over the place.
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Avatar_f_tn
I think Pam ( nyc lady) is 'spot on' with her post, especially when she says " Everyone is welcome and coming from the point of view that the best defense we have against this disease is early detection, I think that we are doing a diservice and cutting off people from being educated on ovarian cancer".
After all, don't we want women to be educated and know what to look for if they think they have OvCa? I wish that I could have found this site when I was being shuttled back and forth to my Doctor for over 9 months with bloatedness and bowel changes, only to be told at the end of it all that I had Stage 4 Ovarian Cancer.
Whoever comes to this site doesn't bother me... I reply to posts if I feel that I have some knowledge on a chemo, or something useful, that I can pass on. otherwise I don't respond. I guess I have the outlook...live and let live, as none of us know how many tomorrows we'll have.
Wishing everyone a happy weekend...hugs...Helen...
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167426_tn?1254089835
I think it would have been a better idea for MedHelp to put the question to the entire forum about adding  the cyst forum,  that is the DIVIDING point on this issue,  to use the words of a few and ignore the rest is not  right.  I agree with Pam, Helen and others that it was not necessary and could end up to be quite confusing without the expert opinions set forth by those that ended up with a dx of OVCA.  Especially since all start with cysts.  We want to educate and get all women aware of the symptoms, then we pull the curtains shut in their faces  if they come on board with questions.  I am sorry,  I just do not understand this decision.
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178345_tn?1242539846
RIght now lets all focus on the old normalcy we had here...we can only hope that more and more women with OVCA or questions about it will find us all here...hopefully someone from the cysts forum will direct women in the right direction if need be. For now like Gail has said ( and Gail I am not the least offended) lets move on to what our true purpose on here...We are human and we will all have a difference of opinion at times but the main issue here is OVCA and everyone who needs us and is affected by this in any which way...lets put our energy into doing what we do best ....helping,praying and caring for each other...Love, Gia :)
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356929_tn?1246393356
Since it has been just a few months ago since I came to this forum looking for answers, I tried to put myself back into that time frame and "mental place". Upon looking at the information page, I'm sure I would have researched BOTH Ovarian Cyst AND Ovarian Cancer. I'm quite certain most others will do the same. When looking for answers I think we leave "no stone unturned" when we are fearful and unsure . And to that end, I think it's a mistake to exlude anyone-- intentionally or not. The inappropriate posts could surely be kindly re-directed as MedHelp explained in a previous post.

And Donna.. (in my opinion) whether or not you still have ovaries or cysts  is neither here nor there. You still have valuable insights to share from your experience!

Just my 2 cents for what it's worth
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10947_tn?1281407852
Hi,

Just some clarification on the new Ovarian Cysts community. I'm not sure where the idea came from that our hand was "forced" into creating a new community or anything. There was no forcing. It was simply a great suggestion we received.

The new community is very simple. There are a lot of members on this site with ovarian cysts, that do not have ovarian cancer. When we find a group of members with a condition, we give them a community so that others with the same condition can find them and they have a dedicated place to discuss the condition. If you look around our site, we've been doing these break-out forums for years. MS was broken out of Neurology. Heart Rhythm was broken out of Heart Disease. Pregnancy out of Maternal. Herpes from STDs and so on. All of these places have thrived once they were given a dedicated community.

Simply put, why shouldn't they have their own dedicated community? These are, after all, two different conditions. And granted, they can be closely linked, but both the Ovarian Cancer and Ovarian Cysts communities share a Community Leader in Mid, and most members will still participate in both communities after being in here so long. Typically that leads to a close partnership between the communities, including referring members back and forth for information. From MedHelp's standpoint, we're proud that this community has grown so much that it can support both communities and provide a place for new members that may have cysts or cancer. That's a terrific thing. We hope you see it the same way.

MedHelp
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