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Concerned - how's your mom?

How's your mom doing now that the surgery is over?  Hope it was good news.
Cheri
13 Responses
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Avatar universal
  Thank you for your words.  My Mom was diagnosed with 3C approx. 3 years ago with one reoccurrence and now another as of last week. I feel so bad that it is her and not me, then I feel guilty feeling glad that I am not in a high risk group.  I don't know how I am going to handle the final days.  She is very strong and "healthy" in appearance right now, but we know that is subject to change.  She is a nurse so unfortunately she understands what is going on.  
   I am a Police Officer and for 20 years have been consoling and handling other people's problems.  I hope I am capable of handling it well.
    I love her and until this came up we didn't talk every day. Now we do.  I feel like I lost time.  I also wish she had a better life and I wish I could change it.  She lives with an @$$.  She loves pets and I would love for her to have one.  They can mean so much to life.  I am a huge fan of the animal world.  Her current husband won't go for it.  Anyway I got sidetracked.  My prayers to all of you.  I am not a blog type person, but you all moved me to respond.

     Bless you all  thank you for the encouragement.
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Avatar universal
Thank you very much for your kind words of encouragement.  I really appreciate it.  Thanks, again.
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167426 tn?1254086235
Kate, I am writing this to you as a Mother, if the roles were reversed, she would feel so helpless about you.  Right now she feels that you are caring for her and is glad that it is her and not you.  I want so bad to trade places with my daughter,  A very special relationship exsists between a Mother and her daughter,  they are extensions of each other,  We are so proud of our children, and hurt when they hurt,  Be thankful that she fought so hard to remain with you as long as possible, it is hard to face, but she would be the first one to tell you, it's ok daughter, I love you very much and I want you to go on and have a happy life.  Give her hugs and love as long as you can,  then when the time does come, do not feel guilty, let her go to the peace she deserves.  I am hurting right now for you myself, because there is nothing like a Mothers Love.
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Avatar universal
First, I want you to all know that I will keep you in my prayers.  Secondly, my mom was diagnosed with stage 3c seven years ago, this past march.  She has fought a very tough battle and has just recently started to go downhill.  Unfortunately Ovarian cancer is very hard to cure, although it is manageable for some time.   The road ahead will be a difficult one; sometimes times will be wonderful.  Please enjoy the time that you can share with your mothers.  I tell you this from my heart, these past seven years have felt so short and it seems like these days as things get worse, all the days just fly by and it's so hard.   If anyone has been in this stage of their life, losing their mother and being the caregiver, I could really use some advice.  May god bless all of you,
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107366 tn?1305680375
COMMUNITY LEADER
Speaking as one who was diagnosed last August with stage 3C ovarian cancer, I totally agree with other comments made here.  Ovarian cancer is a serious thing, obviously, but as dian said, it is in no way a death sentence.  If I believed it was, I wouldn
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Avatar universal
I am glad that your mom is doing so well!  I will be praying for her and for you.  I believe that you are right about not being able to get out 100% of the cancer.  That is what the chemo is for--to take care of all the rest of the cancer.  I feel the fact that your mom's surgery was only 2 hours was a positive sign also.  Do you know what Grade you mom's ovca was?
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Avatar universal
Well of course I see the pain caused by ovca and chemo.  Why do you think Im so panicked about the whole thing?  I dont want my mother to go through this.  Damn, why does ANYone have to go through this?  Its not a question of guilt....I know I didnt bring this on, but I love my mom.  We all get older....our folks get older and its inevitable that we're all going to die one day.  But no matter how old I get or how independent I think I am, I dont think I could ever be prepared for something like this.

Of course we all gathered around my mom and she knows we all love her, but damn, we cant do anything for her.  What a horrible feeling of helplessness.  She has ALWAYS been there for us and the one time she really needs us, we cant do a thing to help her.

Recently I went to a support group.  I spoke with people who actually HAVE cancer.  They were strong - it was ME who was blubbering and crying.  Yet they appreciated hearing an honest perspective from a family member.  I was so impressed by their strength.

Im glad the surgery is behind my mom.  I dont know what 'grade' of cancer my mom has...they should have those reports today.  Thank God she goes for her annual exams...otherwise, she never would have known.

By the way, my mom never said "Why me?"  She kept thanking God that it happened to HER and NOT to one of her children.  And she MEANS it.  THATS the kind of mother I have and I am so lucky to have her.

I love you mom!
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Avatar universal
Hello hazel...Looks to me as if you must be a great comfort to your mom these days....it is good you are trying to help "concerned" get a grip on this whole thing.
I might just ruffle some feathers here, but here goes.
Ovarian cancer is not a certain death sentence.....it is something we realize, if diagnosed, is something we must learn to live with. None of us gets out of here without dying from something.
I was diagnosed last April. I have three sons who worry about me; one husband and one daughter who also worry. They don't feel guilty...they did nothing to bring this on me: neither did I.
I don't ask "Why me?".....someone's going to get it...should it be my daughter or my grand-daughter? Who should it be?  Give me a break!
It would be an added burden if one of my children was responding to me out of guilt...in my opinion, that is something a child needs to deal with on his own...especially if it is an adult child.
The time for selfsihness ends; or should end; in early childhood.
Clearly I am lacking in patience in this arena; I will not apologize to people lacking compassion or those who are so focused on themselves that they are unable to see the pain caused by ovc or chemo.
I wish Peace to everyone on the planet; please forgive my short-commings.  dian
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114870 tn?1210298346
Hi there, my Mom too was diagnosed with ovarian 3c six weeks ago.  She is doing fine as far as recovery.  She has already started her chemo 2 weeks ago and going for her 2nd session next week.  Her side effects werent too great, lots of aches and pains but I heard it decreases with every session because the chemo doesnt have the same strong effect with every infusion.  Anyway to answer your Q:  My moms doc also took out over 95%, said its physically impossible to take full 100% out, thats what chemo is for.  And, yes, this particular cancer reacts well to chemo but has high chances of reoccurance.  Thats the negative side of it.  But you and everyone of us need to stay strong and positive and not let this disease win over us and our Moms.  Your mind is your worst enemy, as someone told me this several weeks ago, since then I will not let the "ifs" and "buts" take over me.  I stay positive, and believe that my Mom will win this battle.  My prayers are with your mom and all women that have to go through this rough path.
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Avatar universal
Actually Im a lousy son.  I always took my mom for granted.  I always loved her and deep down I think she knows I always loved her, but it wasnt until this really scared the daylights out of me that I genuinely realized how much my mom means to me.  I also saw first hand just how brave a woman my mother is.

But chemo IS very effective against this type of cancer, right?So the "specs" or the 2% remaining will, in all probability, be killed with the chemo?

Forgive me for asking repeatedly, its just that this is all new to me and Im hoping that my mom ha a good long-term prognosis.

I hope everyone else is doing well.
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117289 tn?1391712825
It sounds like the news is good.  You and your mom are in my prayers.  Please keep us posted.
~Tascha
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Avatar universal
Hi! That sounds like very good news to me. Unfortunately there are NO guarantees in life (except plaque and taxes). You are a wonderful son, keep us posted.
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Avatar universal
Hi Cheri.

Thank you and everyone else on this forum for the concern and for taking the time to respond to so many of us on this message board.

My mom had her surgery.  They did a complete hysterectomy and they took out her omentum.  The surgery took about 2 hours (we were given a 3 hour estimate). She is still sore but she is looking pretty good - almost like her old self. Anyway, the doc said he got 98% of the cancer out....he said he did see some specs left in her abdomen or diaphragm or something.  By specs, Im thinking he meant the microscopic stuff? I mean I would think they really cant get 100% out. Im not sure.  Anyway he said with this type of cancer (ovarian), he said its VERY susceptible to the chemo.  What really scares me is that he said she is Stage 3C...BUT I asked about her liver and kidneys and he said they were clear, which is good.

So tell me the truth...getting 98% of it out with some "specs" remaining....this is good news right?  And have you all heard that chemo is VERY effective against this type of cancer?

Docs never guarantee anything - but it didnt sound like a bad prognosis....but can someone tell me what they think based on what I said?

Again, thank you all for the concern.  Whats very frightening is that my mom didnt have any symptoms.  If she didnt have her annual exam, she really would have been in trouble.

God bless all of you.
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