I went to work today and could not make myself talk to my schools nurse my boss my friend nobody. They really stood behind me through pregnancy complications my hysterectomy and my hematoma. Honestly I would have started crying. I take care of a 14yr old with cerebral palsy and work with other special ed kids. All that went through my mind is how do i tell them that I need surgery again. I havent even told my family yet. My husband is out of town he knows I get periodic ultrasounds and knows oorphectomy is in the future but doesnt know how soon. This isnt something I want to say over the phone. How do you tell somebody friends co workers and family when you know they will either freak out due to past complications or feel sorry for me or handle me with kid gloves.&name=Mishelle
Actually, Mishelle, you set the tone for the way others will handle your situation and eventual surgery. Actually, I had to tell my husband and daughter and mother-in-law over the phone. I didn't cry when I told them ( immediately after)...I had to tell two of my sons over the phone .... just let it be a matter of fact...that is what it is...a matter of fact. If they feel you are able to deal with this straight on, so might they...remember, it is scary for them and they are allowed to feel scared at times too. However, they need to know that you will lean on them when/if you need to..that you are not afraid to ask for their help..and that you will be honest with them. Also, there are times when the information delivery can be deligated..my brothers live in Florida....I called and told one and he called the other two. I told my mother-in-law and she told the rest of the family. You could tell one person at the school and leave it up to them to advise the rest of the staff and students. If you act strong and confident nobody is going to feel sorry for you...of course they will be scared for you and maybe not know what to say..you can open the door when you sense that.....tell them it's going to be okay..give them the hug they need..you say they stood behind you before..trust them to be able and willing to do it again...just as you would for them. Right now you are walking in a fog of emotions and confusion...the fog will lift when you are ready..you will handle this. Show those nearest you how you trust them...and believe in them...I bet they are stronger than you are giving them credit for....you know they want to be there for you..they'd probably carry your burden if it was possible. Let your family love you..give yourself permission to lean on others..it's okay and they deserve your trust.
Stay in touch...Peace to you and your family.
I just dont think I was ready to say anything I stuck to safe topics ie my hearing impaired special ed son getting suspended for fighting Iam used to that. Dian I had it in my mind that if I told the nurse i was ready to remind her of the ends and outs of confidentiality that is not like me i am usually pretty nice or a big kid. I am going to take your advice and tell a friend @ work and take it from there
You know...hopefully this surgery will not bring you the worst but the best news...I can only imagine what you must deal with having a son who is hearning impaired and special ed...what a challenge but I am certain he is also a blessing....I am in an arena where I don't know what I am talking about...what I do know is that you have to un-burden yourself...share the knowledge you do have about your situation...trust those who love you to help you carry your burden and deal with your realities...that alone will relieve your stress level..you need to do that in case you do have a battle to fight...you need to have all the strength and power you can muster...you would be wise to delegate the disemination of knowledge of your health situation...go for it girl! My e-mail; ***@**** it.
Get some sleep if you can; say your prayers and God bless your dreams.
My son is deaf but not since birth so right now i am trying to make him sign unfortunately you can not force a 12yr old that lip reads and is happy with hearing aids he can turn off when he doesnt want to hear me he is also ADHD so alot of times he doesnt care to hear me. Right now he is suspended for the 5th time this year. He gives me gray hairs. Lol. was gonna talk to my friend @ work but she didt have a planning today and we have different lunchs will do it monday Erika
Hi Mishelle, Sorry to but in here but I just had to as we seem to have a lot in common. My son is deaf/hh and I have had one (sometimes two) surgeries a year since 2002. It gets harder each time to tell family and friends/coworkers I know but I agree with Dian. You just have to tell them matter of fact or it gets to emotional. I have even spoken about what if it's cancer and they want to ignore that completely but I just speak matter of factly that we need to be prepared not shocked at the last minute. I know at work that it is specially hard as that our company has few employees and every operation effects our insurance coverage. I feel very guilty about that but I feel I can't put off my own health as I would not want anyone else to put off theirs either. So know that you are not alone in your feelings and don't hesitate to vent here!! Also I just want you to know how much teachers like you do for us parents of special needs children. You are a godsend!!! Please take care of yourself. You are in my thoughts and prayers!
Hi Erika, My son is twelve also!!! He also used to do the turning off trick but the new aids don't have that option. Yay! But he will often do the "what" and also turn his head if I start signing. UGGGH!! It can be quite frustrating. :) I am here for you if you need to vent or just compare notes. I will give you my e-mail if you'd like. My surgery is coming up on the 5th and i'm getting quite anxious about it. Take care.
My email is m_ehornsby***@****. I quit trying to sign to my son he doesnt want to learn from me so his school got a tutor for him. Does your son go LALALA at the top of his lungs when he is really mad @ you. To me that is about the worst of it. I am calling on monday to schedule surgery I have been feeling pretty yucky and was just ignoring it. Mostly just really tired (I am adult ADHD) so totally frurstrated with that and this is embarrassing but had sudden onset diarrhea with no warning doc said he is going to schedule it urgent
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