My mom has been fighting stage 4 ovarian cancer for almost 2 years. It has spread to her organs including but not limited to her lungs. The oncologists have told us today that she has exhausted all chemo and her cancer is almost entirely resistant to it.
There is nothing more to be done.
What happens now? Does anyone know how long we can expect her to survive? She can barely walk and is swelling in her chest and abdomen rapidly. Draining about every 3 days. She is uncomfortable and in extreme emotional duress. The doctors wont even speculate on days, months, a year. How can we plan for her care?
I am so frustrated and angry. They wont put in a permanent drain, so she has to go back and forth to the hospital and then she us exhausted.
Should we put her in a nursing home with constant care? I dont know. ):
I'm so sorry her cancer is resistant to treatment. That's the kind of news we never want to hear.
Have you checked with another doctor about having a drain put in because as she gets more tired, that trip back and forth will just be more difficult.
I would recommend hospice care. That way your mom can stay at home as long as possible. Most people prefer to be in familiar surroundings with all their memories. And the hospice folks can assign a team to your mom which will include a nurse to monitor her, a volunteer to check on her pain levels and help out. The volunteer also gives the family some time away for respite. There's a chaplain type person if wanted. And a volunteer that can come bathe her when she's too weak to do it herself. There are also hospice homes that can be helpful if 24 hour care is needed.
Mostly, hospice staff can help the family understand the whole process, what to expect, what to watch for and how they can help in little ways if they want.
My Dad had hospice care and I couldn't have coped without their support. My husband is now a hospice volunteer and loves being there for people during their last months/weeks/days. And my father-in-law now has hospice care and they've been fantastic caring for him since he lives 600 miles away from us.
I don't know how mobile your mom is right now so you have to think whether hospice care would work for her. I don't know how much family she has in the area. But it's a thing to consider. End of life issues are way more than taking care of physical needs. Hospice staff understand that and take care of the whole person as well as minister to the family.
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