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I can't take this wating...my patience with my kids is zero and I ...
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I can't take this wating...my patience with my kids is zero and I am sick to my stomach...in tears.

I am so worried about all of this...the cramping, the pressure, the pain I felt on sonogram, the fluid in my pelvis, the ca125 test,,,all of it.  I have no idea how long the results will take and no idea what really to expect.  I don't know how you ladies handle all of this, I just really admire the strength it must take to endure and also to post help for others.  
I don't really have a question right now, and you all have been great...I think right now this is just the only place I feel really safe to openly say that I am scared.  I feel so badly for my kids because they know something is wrong and I have just zero patience with them, which is so not like me.  My 5 year old looks sad and worried and has asked why I am so "rushy" (his way of saying that I am hasty and impatient and on the edge) and I don't really know what to tell him.  My husband has been way nicer to me than usual (he's great always, but just not all that attentive) and I know he is scared, too.  I can't imagine how we will handle this if it does turn out to be bad - I really feel like I am going to throw up and I just kind of walk in circles all day not getting much done.  I am so sorry to just babble on...I am in tears and just scared.  
I hope you are all feeling well tonight and in good spirits.  Thanks to purrkat, kimchi, granny and everyone who has taken the time to read and respond to my other posts.
Take Care.
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12 Comments
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167426_tn?1254089835
Ok Hun I understand, but getting all stressed out over something you can't do anything about right now, is just making you feel sicker.  Stress causes pain and gets you nowhere. You will get your answers and when you do you will find out how to handle whatever the problem is. Hun your kids need you to settle down and be the loving mother I am sure you are. Until your appointment try to do something you really enjoy, get your mind off of your problems and have some fun. These ladies sound like they are calm and collected,   but they all went through what you are doing now, I know the waiting is hard, but one thing I do know for sure, is that women are strong and when faced with  adversity they attack. World watch out here we come.  Are your kids in school yet?  Are you a lucky woman that gets to stay home?  If you are, take a relaxing bath, watch a good girl flick, plan your days,  take some walks, call a friend on the phone and plan a get together,  tell your husband and kids how much you love them.  We will always be here for you.
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Avatar_f_tn
Tell us about your children. How many and ages. Are the others as precious as your five year old sounds? What would they love to do with Mother?
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Avatar_f_tn
Your description on your other post was similar to my experience at the US, and it turned out to be complex cysts.... I am older than you....& ended with a hysterectomy, but it was benign.  The waiting is absolute H*LL.  But you really do make yourself ill if you allow your mind to go crazy.  Try to take it one day at at time.... SStar's advice is great!  
Be good to yourself... hang in there...
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16702_tn?1234094245
Hang in there answers will come soon.  Try to keep busy, keep on doing what you did before and try to block out the pain and discomfort.  I was a zombie for a few days slowy losing my cool and finally broke down and cried my heart out and released all that buildup inside me.  Then I just went about my business as usual, spent time with friends and family and pet...What you need is a great big hug, so here it comes...Now have a good cry, you will feel better.
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Avatar_f_tn
Hello...I realise it's hard, but just take a moment to look on the good side of things at present. You don't know what the future holds...none of us do here, so please don't stress about things until you know something that you feel you need to stress about. Stress will make you feel much worse, and it could be all for nothing. Until your test results come back, you don't know if it's bad, o.k. or what. You are VERY lucky having two lovely children, and a caring and good husband to share this with you. I recently went to an Ovca seminar attended by women with various stages of Ovarian cancer. There I met 5 young ladies in their early 20s, who have had the hysterectomy operation and chemo.... lost their lovely hair, but will NEVER have children.
Count your blessings... try not to stress about something unknown at this stage, enjoy your little children (bless them)...your hubby, and take each day as it comes. I find the best way to combat the waiting for results, is to keep busy, spend time doing something you like, and try not to think about anything to do with tests etc. We are all thinking of you. You are in my prayers and thoughts, and please let us know how your results go.
Wishing you and your family good news... Hugs....Helen...
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155056_tn?1333642288
There is the old saying "Try not to waste a good panic"....you have yourself all worked up over something that could very well be nothing....you are making yourself sick to your stomach...I know we all do, but, reality is, you have no control over the outcome, good or bad, you can't change it....so, until you know what you are or aren't dealing with....try, I know it's hard, but try really hard to go on with life as normal.


Remember, the odds are on your side!!!!

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149816_tn?1212686941
I find waiting is the worst part of all of this. I've learnt that I can handle the results, even the bad, scary ones, but not knowing, letting my mind run riot and feeling as though I have no control, it's the pits.

I remember back in July 2006 being in the same position as you are now - I couldn't stop crying, imagining all sorts of horrors and in a blind panic - the best advice I was given was from Ursula (Scoutshadow), go and have a long warm bubble bath with a good book. I sat in the bath for about 2 hours, eventually calmed down and stopped reading the same sentence over and over, and it gave my mind time to get out of the nasty places it was going to and relax a little. I didn't feel great when I got out , but I certainly felt in a little more control and could see things a little more rationally. I've never been in that state since until the past few weeks when I've had my big surgery cancelled and delayed numerous times, it worked then too!

I hate being told to 'think positive' when I'm feeling at the end of my tether, my Dad's the worst at doing it, but once you're through this blind panic it will come and you'll be a lot stronger for it. There's many books on positive thinking out there, I was reluctant to read any, but a friend gave me 'Peace, Love and Healing' by Bernie Siegel which I felt obliged to read. It has changed my outlook on my cancer and given me a lot of strength and coping skills that I wouldn't have without it.

Hugs and good wishes,

Lisa

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108861_tn?1227249648
Hello My,
     You are already doing something positive with the nagging fear by coming here!  No apologies!  Post whenever you want, no question necessary, just releasing the stress with us, your Cysters, helps!  Hearing that statistic about 99% of ovarian tumers is reassuring but none us know where we will be post op.  I am a 99% Cyster like Katie and so many others, but we never know during the dreadful wait!  So B1tch Moan Whine Complain, or BMWC as we call it, we will listen.  MV
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167426_tn?1254089835
Good Morning,  you got the support of 7 of these ladies that have been just where you are now,  so now you know you are not alone, plus you have your loving family,  Mary did tell you that 99% of all tumors are benign, so hang onto that and have a better day today.  Come in and chat any time you feel the need, some one is usually watching and will answer you.
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Avatar_n_tn
Waiting for results is, for me, the absolute worst part.  I had a five day wait for a biopsy for bladder cancer to see if the OVCA had spread there. My surgeon (never one to mince words!) told me that if it had then I was 'stuffed'!
Our phone is also used for business so I had five days of never knowing if it was the surgeon calling - thankfully when she did it was a positive result.

I don't know how old your children are but if they are old enough to understand -and the five year old is - I think it is better to tell them exactly what is going on without frightening them. Just that mummy is not as well as she hopes to be when the doctors have found out what is wrong with her.Until then she is sorry if she can't do all the things she wants to with them and is sorry if she gets a bit cross sometimes. They will probably want to know what is wrong so you just say you have a sore tummy and try to answer their questions after that.  As long as they know it isn't anything to do with them that you get upset as they will get more anxious about what they don't know than about what they do!

Maybe others on the site won't agree but I always found even young children to have more understanding that given credit for if their questions are answered as honestly and matter of factly as possible.

Other than that try and get as much rest as you can and try to 'think positive'.  
Worrying about something that may never happen is exhausting. Your symptoms could be from all sorts of things which are not cancerous.

Hugs from England!

Ruth
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196469_tn?1365391575
WAITING SUX!

I feel for you - I am going thru the same thing.  I went to my son's band concert today at an amusement park and rode a ride with him and just started crying when we were done.  I felt so bad and he was asking what was wrong and of course I blammed my watering eyes on allergies and the spinning ride.  I just can't imagine what life would be like if my news is BAD news.  I am not a possitive person by nature and this life event hasn't helped!  I am very gad to have a place like this to "vent".  Thanks y'all!
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108861_tn?1227249648
You are welcome, both of you and hope to see you at Cyber Party tomorrow night!  MV
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