Just an update...

[Tybear]

I thought I'd pass along what's been happening these last few weeks. For those who don't already know, the gyne surgeon said no to my surgery. She said I just have too much disease in my pelvis and that it wouldn't be worth it to go in and try to take it all out if it meant ruining my quality of life. She also informed me that my left kidney is diseased and that in addition to the tumor that is attached to it, there is also disease all over it. I won't be able to stent it for much longer and once that fails, I will need a permanent nephrostomy tube put in. She also told me that it was inoperable and that the only way to deal with it would be to remove it, which will most likely happen sometime in the future. As you can imagine, I was pretty devastated with this news...
My next step (which I've already taken) was to see my onc at my local hospital and tell them that I want to be treated here at home instead of Toronto. I asked him if he would prescribe the Avastin to me at the local clinic here and he agreed to it, although he did say that he's never given it to anyone for ovarian cancer. He asked me to not close any doors down in Toronto because when new drugs become available and clinical trials start up, it would be down there. He wants to make sure I have access to the best possible drugs... The biggest difference between my local hospital and PMH is that the onc's here are medical oncologists and not specialized in any one particular field where as in Toronto, I was seeing a gyne oncologist - I'm pretty sure though that I wasn't getting any better care down there than I would be getting here. I'm actually really happy to be back at "home"...
So, that's where I'm at. I continue to take my daily cyclophosphamide and I have a CT scan on the 11th to see where everythings at. I have also booked a trip to Calgary with my girlfriend to go and visit my other girlfriend at the end of August and I can't even begin to tell you how excited I am for that! I imagine, unless the scan shows something really crazy, that I will start the Avastin back up again in September, after my trip.
Sorry I've been so quiet lately...needless to say, life hasn't exactly gone the way I had hoped for...
Love to you all,
Becky

[turtledovemom]

Strong hugs for you...as many as you need.
much love,
Anne

[marie3B]

I like what Deandra said above.  Convincing our bodies that we don't have cancer.  That is the fighting attitude we need to try to keep.  My heart is with you , Becky, as you continue your fight. Marie

[crecco]

Becky,
  I am so sorry and know how devistated you must have been. But you too are a fighter! And I know that you will never give up. I am glad you are continuing with the avastin.
Hang in there Hon. You and Deandra are in inspiration to us all.
  Love Chris

[Brownie3321]

Becky - I have tears in my eyes and me heart is broken. I can't even begin to tell you how sad this has made me. But, I know you're not giving up, and neither am I. You and I have to keep fighting tooth and nail.
Have fun with your friends and try as hard as you can to will that cancer out of your body. I do it everyday... I wake up and pretend my life does not revolve around cancer. I get ready, go to work, go out to dinner, hang with my friends and act as normal as possible. I guess I am trying to convince my body that I don't have cancer...
Spend time with Ty and laugh - laugh as much as you can -  I know it helps.
I'll keep you in my prayers Becky - with love, Deandra

[justscore]

Go, have FUN with your friends and have a relaxing, party of a time.  YOU DESERVE THIS!!!!  

Heidi

[dian07]

Hey there, kiddo!  Just wanted to remind you that I think of you often and you and Tyson are in my heart.
Peace.
dian

[golfgal911]

After my first 6 chemos, and before my debulking, I went to florida for a week with friends. I made them promise to ignore the disease, unless we needed my bald head to get to the front of a line at Disney.   It was wonderful, feeling like a real person instead of a sick person--the best thing I could have done!  Your trip sounds likea great idea--enjoy!

[Gatsby]

You and Ty are always in my thoughts and prayers.  I am sending good thoughts and cyber hugs your way.  Stay strong, hon and know that we are always here for you.
Love, Tascha

[alanpvegas]

Becky, like everyone I'm sorry to hear this as well :(  I think that would be great if you could get treatment at home...it's so much better than having to drive!  Be comfortable!!!

[JC145]

Becky:  I have been wondering how you have been.  I am so sorry about your news, but don't give up the ship.  I've been to the hospital in Barrie many times and they are wonderful, caring people.  I think it is wonderful you will be in Barrie and not need to make that long trek to TO.  At this point, a medical oncologist will do just fine.  Hopefully he/she will stay on top of the latest drugs/trials so you can have the best there is to offer.  If I hear of anything, I'll pass it along.  Enjoy your trip.  As always, you are in my prayers.  Judy

[ChrisP2236]

I just wanted to add my good wishes for your trip.  Have a great time and delight in your friendships.  We hope better news is just around the corner for you.  Chris P

[onniebay]

Becky I'm sorry you did not get the news you wanted.  I hope you really enjoy your trip.  

[SimplyStar]

Becky it sounds like you are in control now and that is good. it has been a rough time I am sure, moving, and all those long trips, will be nice to just think about staying close to home now.  Enjoy the time with your friends, have a blast and  forget the damn cancer for a while.

[silver&gold]

I hope things get better for you , have a great trip with your girlfriends .

Angie

[jlock]

We haven't met yet as I'm sorta new on here.  I'm really sorry about the news you have recieved.  I wish it would be better for you.  You try to have yourself the best time on vacation. I pray that you feel well and all goes good for you. ~~~~Joanne

[gma718]

I am so sorry for all that you have endured.  I will continue to pray for you.  It is great that you are getting together with your girlfriends and I wish you a fun, safe trip..you will be in my thoughts...Love, Gia

[bohan54]

Glad you are strong enough to take a trip, I'm sure it will do a lot for your spirits.  I can understand why you want treatment near home, it's grueling enough without having to travel a great distance.
Sharon B

[vegas2cr]

sending you hugs and hoping that things turn around real soon.. Love Ronni

[Sandymac]

I ,too, am sorry to hear that you didn't receive better news.. Just wanted to say hello and let you know I've been thinking of you..

Love,
Sandy

[butterflytc]

I too am sorry the docs were not able to give you better news Becky, but am glad you are focus forward on a trip to Calgary. I hope you have a terrific time, and come back refreshed and ready to handle Septembers Avastin. Can't say I blame you for wanting to be "home". take care of yourself and Good luck with the test on the 11th
Hugs
butterflytc

[Jan214]

Dear Becky,

I'm sorry honey.  Life ***** and I have never said this before, but this cancer is not fair.  It is not right that you should have to be worrying about this.  The only thing you should have to be thinking of right now is Ty and having fun with him.  I am glad you are planning a trip though.  I think that will be good for you.  Seeing friends is always a morale booster.  Just take care of yourself.  I will keep praying that some bit of good news comes your way.  Love ya, Jan

[fungirl1011]

Hi Becky, I am so sorry that you have had such a rough couple of weeks.  I know that is not what you wanted to her and I wish there was something we could do to change that for you.  I bet it feels good to be "home" and not have to worry about who is going to care for Ty while you are gone.  I am glad that your onc at home is listening to what you what to do.  

I think a trip with your girlfriends is just what you need.  I think you will have an amazing trip.  Please keep us updated on how your scan goes on the 11th.  You are always in my prayers Becky.  Love you!! Kasie

[Knotmeg]

I'm sorry that these last few weeks have been rough on you... and the news was not what you had hoped to hear.  I think its good that you're taking control of where and when you want to be treated... but do keep the options open for trials (if you want)....

Hope you have a WONDERFUL trip with your friends in Calgary... I know how theraputic a friend's hug and sitting in front of them face to face, can be.

Take care... you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Meg

[cirella]

I've been wondering where you have been.  Thank you for the update.  I'm so sorry for all this news.  I hope you have a wonderful time with your friends.  

((hugs)) L