Need some advice ...

My Mother in law was diagnosed with Stage 3C Ovarian 3 yrs ago.  She had debulking surgery and many rounds of chemo and has also been on a Parp Inhibitor trial.  She was doing well until 3 mths ago when a tumor near her liver was causing pressure on her bile duct.  She had a stent put in which was supposed to be a simple procedure but has gotten infection after infection and had to leave the trial.  She is struggling to eat they can not find anything pysically stopping her so we are at a loss.  She has alot of probelms with gas and digestion so her diet is very limited.  The Hospital and Nursing home where she is now is appaling in their meal service.  She now has gone downhill and is so weak through not eating that she can no longer walk.  I am horrified that I am now ordering her soups from take outs and cooking meals for my husband to take to her but I live an hour away.  No one in the medical proffession can help me with finding a personal chef or a meal service to deliver nutritional food that is soft to the palate.  I do realize that most of this is probably her not having her whole heart in it anymore.  But she tells me she wants to try.  There has to be an answer somewhere, I am just not finding it.  Does anyone have any advice?? She lives in Staten Island, NY ... Thank you and god bless all of you fabulous survivors !!

[jennerfennerbenner]

When was her last scan?  Im wondering only from my personal experience in this is related to the disease advancement?  It is such a cruel journey, im all to familiar with it.  If you have questions Im here.  I lost my mom to this when i was very young, and now losing my youngest sister.  Take care...ill help all i can

[cbmilito]

Hello,
Her last scan was last Thursday.  She has had tumors on her stomach lining since the beginning I wonder if they are now growing and causing problems.  I don't speak directly with the Dr's so I only hear what she tells me and she does tend to shut off when they speak.  How long can we go on like this with hardly eating and now she can not move her legs....she said she is in no pain but feels very weak.  Its awful to see her go through this....thanks for replying to me...Charlotte x

[nyc lady]

The nursing home has to offer pureed food!!!!   Here in NYC, they don't offer that option????  Can't be.

I recently lost my mom (not to OC) but she was in a nursing home for 2 years before.  You MUST stay on top of the facility.  Contact the nurtritionist in the nursing home....they MUST provide  your mother with food that she can eat.

Also, have you contacted hospice?  Hospice care does not mean the end, they are there for pallative care.  

Also, call her doctor?   Ask your mother to give permission for them to speak to you.  

What you are going through is not easy.

Hugs to both you and your mom.

Pam

[jennerfennerbenner]

Im a nurse so I say get intouch with facilty. Food causes issues at this stage, but even a supplement such as Ensure is a good replacement.  Alls my mom wanted at the very end was toast with warm milk poured on it.
You will most certainly see as the diesease progresssess the appetite will lesson.
It disgusts me thatt they are appauling in their meal service but sometime it is a lack of communication.  Dont be afraid to meet with dietary, and dirsctor of nursing at same time.  You shouldnt have to bring meals as I assume you are paying a pretty penny for her care

[cbmilito]

AT the NYU Hospital they did not offer pureed food and we have yet to see what the Nursing home will provide.  But at this point she turns everything away and is managing to drink half a Muscle Milk Shake a day.  
Hospice came into meet with her so I will speak with her about that.  Its tricky I am the daughter in law, she has a daughter and 2 sons.  I make suggestions but it is in their hands.
Thank you for your advice and kind words, I will stay strong and pray this process goes as smoothly as possible for everyone.
Charlotte

[cbmilito]

Thank you for your kind words and advice.  The food is shocking they brought her a breaded chicken cutlet, broccolli and tator tots.  She can barely drink water....???
My husband spoke with the head nurse so hopefully we will not have to bring in anymore food.  But to be honest she turns it away and she is struggling to drink half a Muscle Milk shake a day.
She was meeting with dietician yesterday so hopefully something positive will come of that.
She is also carrying alot of fluid in her legs and around her hips....
Is so hard the mind is fine but the body can not keep up!!!
Thank you for your time and prayers....Charlotte