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Avatar universal

Need some encouragement, hope, anything

Hello Ladies-

Let me apologize first, I am an emotional wreck today.  

I am sitting at my desk at work needing to prepare for two conference calls.  I just spoke with my mom's oncology nurse.  The nurse really goes out of her way to look out for my mom even though she goes to an extremely busy practice.

My mom who has been battling this beast for now a 1 1/2 years , did not respond to the latest chemo Doxil and Avastin combo.  My mom recently had a procedure for draining fluid from her lungs and she started a new chemo Topotecan.  My mom's CA-125 counts continue to rise.  Just getting the news a few minutes ago that it rose again to 6100.  My mom has mets to the lungs and liver.

Am I not giving to Topotecan time to work?  My mom emotionally seems to be changing almost like she thinks the end is near.  Prior to the last 4 weeks my mom has been so independent and a real trouper.  It is sooooooo hard to see my mom going through this.  I feel so helpless.  I do not cry in front of her because I know she is holding on for some positive change in her situation.  I am too.

You all have been such a source for me when I need to pull myself up by my bootstraps and keep going.  Please I need some help today.  I need to talk to someone who understands and you ladies understand.

I appreciate any help.
etaxitpo
13 Responses
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392245 tn?1248838263
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your mom.  Hopefully, the Topotecan wil start to work.  I do not know much about that drug.

My mom is going through her first recurrance and now has mets to the liver.  We recently found out that she is platinum resistant and she is about to start a new regiment of avastin/cytoxan after going to 4 different physicians in 3 cities.

Value every single minute that you have with your mom.  I wish that I had more advice than that.  Share your emotions with her and just be there with her and for her.  My heart is going out to you and your mom.

jamie
Helpful - 0
272338 tn?1252280404
  I am happy that I was able to help in any way. Please be open with your mom, as hiding your emotions is not good for either of you. I wish you the very best and I am keeping your mom in my prayers.
       Chris
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
My heart goes out to you -- I have OvCa but my mother had breast cancer and went through all of what your mom is going through --- It broke my heart --- one week she was ok and the next she was gasping for air and coughing all the time --- I don't know about Topotecan although that is what they are going to try on me the next time my cancer starts growing again ---- it's so hard when there are mets to the lungs ---- just try to spend as much quality time with your mom as possible --- she will appreciate the chance to talk if she feels that she is coming to the end of the line, and if she isn't coming to the end of the line your relationship will be stronger for the time spent together --- I wish I could offer more support -- My heart goes out to you and your mom ------Stay strong but do cry when you need too --- she'll understand although it will make her sad ---- or cry when you are alone -- I think I soaked my pillow many nights --- at least you get some of it out.......
All my thoughts and warm wishes to you
Jeanne
Helpful - 0
167426 tn?1254086235
Leslee was on topotecan for 5 treatments then had to go off, that was when she went on Doxil for 9 months,  the mother daughter thing is hard for me to discuss, Leslee and I are so close, and let me tell you it hurts,  I only can tell you that your mother is probably a lot happier it is her than you.  I would take on my daughters burden in this at once.  Just be with her and stay close, talk and do all you can to make her happy , that means alot. Leslee and I try to laugh as much as possible, it seems to help both of us.
Helpful - 0
114870 tn?1210298346
This is truly very hard for us as daughters watching our dear Mothers go through this.  We cannot make it any better no matter what we do.  I have those days also just by thinking that my Mom has cancer.  She is on her 2nd recurrence and is doing topotecan.  It took 4 treatments to finally see good progress.  Her ca-125 kept rising and we were about to move on to something else until her doctor wanted to check once again and the counts dropped.  So try it and see how it works.  I do know that it doesnt work for everyone, but you can try.  Are there any other treatments her oncologist is suggesting? I hope in whatever you Mom does it will work well for her.
Take care of her and your self.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thank you all for your prayers and warm wishes.

Crecco -- you have helped me.  

I just get so scared at the thought of my mom not being here.  I am an only child and my mom has been sooooooooo good to me in my life.  I just want to do something to make it better, but to utter despair I cannot.

I am really trying to get my arms around this.  I feel so, well I cannot think of a word to describe how I feel.
Helpful - 0
41502 tn?1223517053
Sending prayers that the chemo will start showing results soon,  love Donna
Helpful - 0
194838 tn?1303428544
Thinking of you both and sending prayers and positive thoughts your way.

Love Angie
Helpful - 0
415684 tn?1257329318
Don't know anything first hand about Topotecan, but will keep you and Mom in my prayers.  I hope you find some good answers.  Judy
Helpful - 0
272338 tn?1252280404
  etaxitpo,
    First I will tell you that when I started on Topotecan, my onc told me that this one some times takes a few rounds to start working. He has never told me that about anything else I have been on. We gave it awhile, but unfortunately it did not work for me. Actually it did nothing at all. That was also the first time that had happened also.
  I know that hearing news like that about your mom is so upsetting and I understand how hard it is to see her going through this. But you know something? Believe me when I tell you that it is just as hard on her. You can hide if from her all you want, but she knows, she's your mom. You have probably heard me say this before. As bad as I hate this cancer and what it has done to me, I hate it even more for what it is doing to my family. They do the same with me that you do with your mom. They refuse to ever let me see them cry, or even get upset. And I really wish they did not feel that way. I have had some deeper talks with my 10 year old granddaughter than I have with my mom, my sister, or my son.  I feel sometimes like they are in denial and that is not good for any of then. I have pretty well come to accept it so I cannot understand why they can't. I think it would be better for all of us if they would. I don't want them to wait until the last minute when it will be too late as I feel that they will end up regretting it.
  I know with all of my rambling that I have not been a whole lot of help, but I wanted to try and get you to see it from the other side, the moms side.
  I hope that what ever they use wil do the job the way that it is supposed to and I wish your mom the very best. You and your family are in my prayers.
    Love Chris
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I wish cyber hugs worked for real... I only know that when I was diagnosed 17 months ago with mets to the liver I was given perhaps 6 months.. Well I am here to tell you NO ONE knows what is in store for us. Yes you need to give it time..... I am sending you hope, faith and warmth from my heart here in Costa Rica....Ronni
Helpful - 0
543028 tn?1282428826
i pray to the heavenly father for u and ur mom
i thank god that he has given u to each other to see each other through this dreaded and horrible disease
i ask him to grant u peace during this time and blessings beyond compare
i thank him that u have a place to vent ur emotions and can come to "friends" for prayer
amen
love
sharon
Helpful - 0
603452 tn?1253038747
I cannot give you answers to your questions.  But I really do understand the feelings of a helpless daughter.  I watched my dad go through something similar hen he was diagnosed with Non hodgkins lymphoma.  The first time I was across the country, I was 18, and I completely removed myself from the situation.  I never saw him during his treatments.  I just couldn't. I was told how my clausterphobic dad had a mold made of his head and he was bolted to the table for radiation through his mouth.  I coudln't handle the thought of it.    
7 years later the second time around, I watched.  I was with him for chemo, radiation.  By this time I had children.  I was strong for my mother and my father.  I never let either of them see me cry.  I was strong for my children.  But I felt so helpless.  I just wanted to be able to fix everything. And I never really had anyone to talk to.

You are very fortunate to have found an incredible support system.  I wish I had that at the time.  

I hope just a virtual ((hug)) and an I understand and a prayer will help just a little.  


BTW Both times he was given less than a 30% chance... he's still here and in remission again.  His stubborness won.  I pray you and your mother find the same strength.

Romnie
Helpful - 0
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