In need of long term survivors support and stories!
So it's been 2 years since I been on this sight and since my last entry or post I have still bn fighting and going through chemotherapy. April 2011 I had my second major surgery of debulking and cleaning of my abdomen tumors that got left behind from my first surgery Aug 2010. During my 2nd surgery I had a interperitanial port placed in my abdomen for chemo thru my stomach..cysplatin, that was a tough and harsh chemo..i did 5 rounds of it and I hated it! it took me down for a whole week and a half constant vomiting and dehydration It was the worst few months of my life..but it did help and knock out the growths. October of 2011 o finished up chemo and was placed on tomoxifen chemo pill...I started those in November 2011 and about 6 weeks into it I started to have reactions and was immediatle taken off of them. in the mean time my insurance was switched over so I lost my whole team that I started this whole fiasco with..that was major depressing. I cried for weeks, i loved my whole team that i had, i had the best of Ovarian cancer Drs. and Oncologist here in Sacramento. Feb. 2012 i started seeing a new Dr. and she started me on Gemzar 2weeks on once a week and one week off and so on..to this day i am on that same regimen..i have had a couple scans and they have shown no evidence of new growths or spreading and im suppose to be scheduled to have another scan this month sometime. it's just lately iv been experiencing lost of appitite and bloating again so hopefully the cancer hasn't crypt up on me again within that last 4 months since my last scan. i also been experiencing a lot of tiredness, fatigue, dizziness, headaches, whole body numbness and weakness..so something is going on and it makes me very nervous. i have bn through so much with this damn cancer and being on chemo now for almost 2 and a half years it's nerve racking. i hate it..i also developed diabetes since i been on chemotherapy..dr. said the steroids had a help in that so for over a year now i have been fighting 2 diseases..im tired! My mind, body and soul is so tired of this all i just want this all to be over and done with. My Dr. tells me ill be on chemo for the rest of my life..due to the residule cancer that can't be removed because of it being caught so late! Im so ready for a long vacation from this battle and knowing that i wont have one is a damper. ;( but i am so very thankful for my fiancé and family and friends that keep me going and fighting this battle with me. i have an awesome support group..my family! They keep me wanting to fight and not give up! i am so blessed to have each and every one of them!
I feel for you. I have a rare form of Multiple Sclerosis which has no treatment and ends with paralysis and Stage IIIc Clear cell Ovarian and I am BRCA 1 so they are talking about taking my breasts. I thought MS was unfair but cancer as well. I look at what I can do everyday not what I can't. I am experiencing what you are but I am not a year out. I get up any way a go horse back riding or walk my dog, or go to yoga.
I could not afford a horse but a nice lady lets me come ride hers. I take cheap yoga through a local cancer support. Walking my dog costs me nothing but energy.
I had to switch care on my third chemo. Now I like my new team. I rely on my GP who is a constant through my journey. I also have a local cancer support center which helps.
My mottoes are "True contentment comes from playing the hand you are dealt" and "It is not what happens to you in life its what you do about it that matters".
I can look at my life as a cosmic joke or see what I can make of it. I choose the later.
I have gotten into Mindfulness Meditation to calm the fear down. I am wasting precious moments if I am living in fear. There is a good book by DR. Peter Ubel "You are Stronger than you think", he does research on people who survive and thrive in the worst medical circumstances.
I don't know if this will encourage you or discourage you but I have a most wonderful friend that has been fighting this beast for almost 12 years now. Strangely enough she's doing quite well. Yes, she's had surgeries and lots of various chemo treatments. Still on them. Last year they found small bits of cancer in her eyes and brain. Talk about discouraging but they did a different chemo and those bits of cancer have disappeared. Incredible! She travels around the world to different places, all around the US to visit family. She's squeezing every drop of joy out of life she can. Honestly. . . . I don't know how she does it.
Her feeling is as long as the cancer is responding to the treatments, she'll keep on going. Is it fun? No. Is she bald and tired at times? Absolutely. But she just lives in the moment and takes every bit of happiness she can find. She is my role model.
Now is not the time to take this attitude. I am an 8 year survivor Stage 3C. I have been on 7 different chemos and now just straight taxol and letrozole ( an estrogen inhibitor). Be grateful for your life, I know it's a struggle. I will never have hair again, but thanks to American Cancer Society, have as many wigs and scarfs, hats I need. Get up every morning and say "I will be happy today" then find something to keep you busy. I actually do take a nap most afternoons, I know the fatigue also. But this is your lot, carry it yourself, and do not let Cancer become your whole life. I will not wear any "survivor" stuff, or bring attention to my cancer. It doesn't get a prominent place in my life. I should have been dead 7 years ago, but didn't want to die. And all the new drugs have been helpful along the way to get me going. I have made a deal with the cancer---I know "you want a space in my body---I will allow you to just be there---just don't give me any ****! We have reached a happy medium. I'll be on chemo the rest of my life, but at least I will have one. It is for my family that I live, their pain is greater than mine will ever be. So Go on girl! Don't give that cancer the power to get you down!
Thank you ladies so much for your responses! These last few days I have been feeling a lot better. This is my week off chemo so I been enjoying it and also been doing a lil research on foods to help my health. Having cancer and being diabetic is rough, but eating the foods will help prolong my life and I am trying my best to stick to a healthier lifestyle. Veggies, fruit, whole grain, water and green tea is my main meal plan to stick to. so far I have been doing pretty well, it's hard to not crave certain dishes that I have always loved to eat, but I say to myself, living is more precious then that moment of eating the wrong food. Life is very precious and I am going to do all I can do to help myself llive a longer life.
I also just set my wedding date with my fiancé, so the wedding planning is beginning. We plan to get married next summer June 21st, 2014, so having that to look forward also helps with my situation, it gives me something to do and be happy about and it puts a smile on my face everyday because I absolutely love my fiancé and can't wait to marry him! He is my everything, he is my backbone through this all and I am so excited to be planning my wedding to be married to this wonderful man! We have been together as a couple since nov 30th 2009 and have known eachother since feb 2009. When I was diagnosed in 2010 I though it would be too much for him and he would leave..but I was wrong, he has been bye myside through it all and has been great. I love him to pieces. I cant wait to start a new beginning with him.
I will not let this cancer take over and I will keep fighting as long as I live
Congratulation on the Wedding. Your taste buds change when you adopt a new diet. Make changes slowly so they stick better. I take a food away and add some new fruit or vegetable. I have found there is so much variety these days. I actually crave salads and vegetables now and I think most Restaurant food tastes gross. Especially any fast food. I take a bite and toss it. I go to farmers markets and buy all kinds of new things I never tried before.
I am glad you are feeling better. Chemo is rough and takes a lot out of you. I had to tell my Doctor I needed a three month break from treatment. I got so emaciated and anemic from Chemo I stopped eating and drinking even water. I just no longer cared. After three months I am back to my old self. Riding horses, doing yoga, training my service dog. Life is good.
Thank you! Im so excited to start planning :) I have been eating a lot of salads..i can eat salad everyday, I love salads and fruit. I really don't care for fast foods either, they make my stomach hurt. I haven't gone to a farmers market yet, it is something I do want to do! This spring I will be planting my own lil garden of some fruits and veggies and herbs..they get expensive in the stores especially if that's pretty much all you eat!
I had a month and a half off chemo, October to mid November last year, it was a nice little break. Wish it could have been a lil longer tho. I wanted to take a 3 month break but my Dr. said a month and a half was reasonable being that the longer the break the bigger the chance of the cancer growing and spreading. I plan on taking another break this summer, hopefully atleast two months..ill be happy with that! Glad you are doing well, riding horses I bet that just takes so much away, and puts you in another word while doing so. :)I love horses! That's a great hobbie you have going on and very nice of the owner to let you! Yes god is good and life is great!
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