Question about my mum

[Autumnsraine]

I have a question about my mum. My mum has been fighting ovca since July of 2009. She had the debulking surgery in July of that year. She was originally diagnosed with Ovarian cancer stage 3, in Jan 2010 she was upgraded to stage 4. They had found fluid in her lungs in July '09, they were going to test it for cancer cells and ended up throwing it away. She has had fluid in her lungs ever since, she's always has this congestion and fullness. Well, this past Christmas her dr told her that chemo was killing her faster than her cancer and it wasn't helping. She has gone through 3 rounds of chemo. One regular, the last two were experimental. She has decided to go thru with round 4. We have just been told that her white blood cell count is dangerously low. She is on state funded insurance, she is 63 going to be 64 in Feb. My sisters and I live at all corners of the states and we just have no idea how or what to do. She's very head strong, argumentative. I don't blame her, but we are lost as to how to help her. Her dr said that she will do what she wants. Any help from us or her friends is pushed away. We are at a loss, we feel useless and have no idea as to what to do. Does anyone have any advice?

[sa1142]

I can tell you what I do.... My husband and I have a mother going through  chemo and surgery and we need something to "do" since there is very little we can do to help with the apin ect. We make books with pictures in them of her and family memories... we even have her tell us stories of her childhood so that we can get them recorded. This giant book is a book of her life so that we will enever forget her and she will always live on. It is not necessarily mean she is going to die ect it just is a way to remeber her.... because even is lives another ten years and passes away from an unrelated cause we will still have it.... and it gives me and my husband something we can "do"

[dian07]

I am so sorry you, your family and especially your mom are having to go through all of this.
All you can do is listen to your mom and find some way to support her decisions.  The decisions are, after all, hers to make.  
You can be there as much as possible and listen to her.....she will probably tell you what she needs.  Listening and just being there  for her are the most important of all.
I wish you all the very best.....please come back and talk whenever you can.....maybe your mom would want to do the same as there are others here who know more than I do.
Peace.
dian