Recurrence already...

Hello everyone. Well, my three month check up didn't go so well. It appears that I am having a recurrence - I'm 7 months out from chemo. My CT scan showed two new tumors, one of which is blocking up my kidney. I'm devastated, to say the least. How can this be? I'm only 27. Any words of encouragement would be appreciated. I can't stop crying....

[newlifegal]

I'm so very sorry.  It is devastating news that none of us want to hear.  My brain recurrence happened 10 months out from chemo so I understand how you are feeling.  Allow yourself to release it and cry.  I know I had to and I had a complete meltdown.  But I want you to remember something, Becky.  We can get through this together.  The people on this board are here for you and will help you get through this.  I depend on their support and I hope you will, too.  You actually are just a bit younger than my own daughter so I do feel your pain.  After a time, you will receive the strength to regroup and start the next step.  There is always hope, remember that!

You will be in my prayers,
Christa

[dian07]

Oh kid...I am so sorry....the tears are running down my cheeks as well....I care deeply about you...as do many others here...please remember this is a disease we are told we will have to manage....to deal with as it rears it's ugly head...you are right to feel this is not fair...it isn't but know we are all here for you...take the time to cry and then get angry again and ready yourself for a fight....we do love you...don't forget that. Don't be a stranger either...trying to go it alone isn't always smart, besides, we need to feel we are helping in some small way....we need to hear from you.  
Peace.
dian

[PPhelps]

I was just thinking of you. I can't believe it. I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine what you must be feeling, but we will stand by you, and be here for you. Be strong! My thoughts and prayers for you and your family.
Paula

[merytre]

You are a blessing to everyone on this site and I have no doubt to everyone person  you touch in life.  You will get through this, YOU WILL, stay strong, cry but get back up and fight.  My mother in law was just telling me yesterday about a very young woman she knew 40 years ago who had ovarian cancer.  Back in those days the prognosis was very bad too.  Anyway, she went through whatever treatments they had at that time and she beat it!  She still lives in the same house and is doing fine 40 years later!!  She went through a rough time for several years and there were doubts but she did it.  Dont' give up please.  I will say many prayers for you.  Merytre

[baguba]

I am so sad to hear your news! I always look for your confident posts to all of us out here, and now it is our turn to help you.  Feel angry and cry, feel devastated and cry; but please, please, don't give up or give in.  You can do this.  There are new drugs out there every day and you can and will respond to one; you just need to find the right one.  Get through the shock of what you have just heard, clear your head; then start getting tougher than ever before!  You're young and stronger than you might imagine.  I am 62 and am fighting like the devil through a recurrence after 4 years; but I want to make it.  You set those same goals for yourself.  There is testimony that this can be done.  We need to look at it as a chronic disease that can be taken care of. We will all band together to support you and help you through this.  I connect with everyone who posts here in one way or another.  Please, please lean on us and let us help you.  Love and prayers.....Judie

[gah_70]

Becky, I don't know what to say other than I am so sorry this had to happen in the first place, and now this??  It just isn't fair.  I concur with the others.  We care about you so much, and if there was a way I could sit beside you and cry with you instead of sitting here in my chair doing it, I'd be there in heartbeat.  Take the time you need to mourn this, and then dust yourself off and reach deep inside and pull out that inner fight that got you through it the first time.  You will receive nothing but love here, but you already know that.  You are so brave, whether you feel that way or not.  You are going to do this!  You are one of those special people who have the spirit to do this.  I am saying prayers for you, and will continue to do so.  

Love,
Gail

[dmt9616]

Becky, You were one of the first, if not the first, to post when I came to this site freaked out over my newly found "condition" back in early August. You words of encouragement and sincerity meant everything to me as well as to the hundred or more you have given advice to over the last few months. Please, please, dont give up! You can get through this next round of treatement. And maybe the last 'round' you lost, but this one you will win. Prayer is a powerful thing and you can bet your are in our prayers when we go to bed at night and when we wake up in the morning. Please, please take care, Be strong!  Dianne

[Silla]

Oh sister, so sorry to hear that.Don't know what to say. why do women have to go through this. Just give all your trust to god, with God everything is possible. He can brake it in peaces or clear it as if it didn't exist,like he did in "Jareko". I worry and cry a lot but at the end of the day I realize it is just adding stress, and nothing can we do about what happened. But we can change the future, keep fighting and don't forget to pray. I am waiting for my surgery and can't do anything but pray. I even sleep with the bible in my body. He is the only one he can heal. Believe me prayer does help. It can open doors and ways. Drs. can only try, but He is the creator and is not going to let his daughter down. Let the guardian angel be with u.

[Reba73]

Becky - I am sad to hear your news.  But please stay strong and don't give up.  I will keep you in my prayers.  We are here for you.  Another Becky

[sk2006a]

Becky,
I am so sorry to hear your news.  I've thought of you several times today, wondering how your check-up went.  You are strong and don't forget that!  This is a horrible, horrible disease.  How can we still we so far behind in science when it comes to OVCA?  You put this into remission once, and you can do it again!  You and your son will be in my prayers.
Susan

[sueg]

I know how your feeling.My cancer was back within 3 months of finishing my first lot of chemo.My first check-up and my ca125 was mega-high again.I was devastated,I found it harder than the initial diagnosis.I cried for a week,got angry for a week then  thought sod it-I'll fight this b****rd again.My next lot of chemo hasdn't worked either,but I feel really good,no pains my ca125 is yo-yoing around the 150's,my tumopur is still sitting there,but I'm having nothing now until I feel ready for it.
Stay strong girl.The next remission WILL be ten times longer!!
Loads of love darlin
Sue x

[scoutshadow]

Oh Becky,
This is a terrible setback for you and such a shock.  Take time for the news to sink in and believe me you will emerge a stronger person.  Don't give in to this.  It can be done and I know you have the courage and strength to get through this.

Ursula xx

[kathy o]

Oh God I hate this evil disease..... I am sorry... Did you have any signs that it was back ?  Tybear I will be Praying for you and your beautiful son and family...
Kathy

[Lissy1]

I'm so sorry.

[Tybear]

Thank you everyone for your inspiring words. I swear, I woke up this morning and thought yesterday was all just a bad dream. I just really can't believe this is happening - again. This feels worse than my original diagnosis - I feel so defeated. I had no idea this was coming. My CA125 was at 18 (up from 14), but still, it's within normal range and I feel great! Then to be told how big the tumors are - 4.5cm & 1.5cm - I just don't understand why my levels aren't higher. I can't figure out why this happened so fast if I've got grade 1 cancer - slow growing cancer. Nothing is making sense to me. My oncologist at my local hospital (where I have my follow-ups) told me I would probably need surgery and more chemo. I asked if this meant I have a platinum resistant chemo and he said because I fall right on the 6 month cutoff for that, they would probably do a couple rounds of taxol/carbo and see what happens. I just can't stop crying. I am right back where I was last year - I had my original surgery and diagnosis on September 30th, 2005. I'm just waiting now for a call from the cancer center in Toronto and I'm really hoping I don't have to wait to get in to see my Dr there. I would hope I would be a priority - I guess we'll find out. Thanks again for caring so much - it's nice to have you all to talk to, especially many of you who have been there before.
Becky

[mariak]

I really feel for you. I just had my 2nd chemo today for a first recurrence. Although I was out of treatment for 19 months, I almost died when my ca125 came back 95 and the cat scan showed 2 spots  You've responded to some of my posts over the past few months and you sound like a very strong young woman. I have a 26 year old myelf. All I know is that we can't give up. I know you are probably tired of hearing that just like I am, but many women are making it through this and so can we.I'll be prsyong for you also.
maria

Did your onc discuss what he's going to do??

[ANGELWINGS21]

Hi Becky,
I am so sorry you they found 2 new tumors,I wish I could give you a big hug, here is a cyber space hug[[[[[]]]]]. I can't even imagine the feeling of devistation you must be feeling, PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP! Say to yourself:  "Darn this thing! I will not let this cancer control me!" My sister got me a book on visual imaging, picture in your head the 2 tumors are each like snails and mentally you are pouring salt on each of the tumors and each of the tumor is slowly shrinking, keep doing this every day for about 20-30 minutes a day .
God Bless you, I will be praying for you, if you need to talk I am here.
Paula