Send some LOVE to Becky {tybear}

Becky is going through a really rough time right now, she needs our love and encouragement.

I read your latest post on the caring bridge and I want you to know, that I know, you are a fantastic MOM and a super fighter. This time has to be very hard for you, You seen to take all this damn cancer throws at you and find ways to throw it right back. The pictures of you and TY are proof of who you are, a valiant and loving mother.  You matter to so many on the forum and I sure you know we are with you all the way through this latest fight.  Lets hope that this latest chemo does a fantastic job on shrinking those tumors.  Love you hun, Marty

[gah_70]

I second Marty's post!  Seems like life has handed you a bunch of lemons, and now a little salt is being added to it.  It's no wonder you're tired and ticked off at what's going on now.  Not sure if anything we say can make it any better, but I think you know we all care about you so much, and will support you through thick and thin.  You're a special lady, and Tyson is a lucky kid!  You may think he's not, because he's grown up for the last 4 years with you being sick.  But think about the compassion and strength he's learned by watching you.  Most kids don't get to learn that first-hand, and granted, I wish it wasn't because his mom has cancer.  But he's watched you fight like the dickens and STILL be a great mom, even on the days you feel like a truck has hit you.  You are building the foundation for one great adult in this world when he gets there.  It probably gets old to hear it, but please continue to hang in there.  I'm crossing everything I can hoping the new chemo does marvelous things!

Love,
Gail

[ireneo]

I completely agree with the words that Star and Gah have shared. You're much stronger than you think. I know - we don't get to see all the times you tear up, get angry or just curl up in a ball. You need those times to recharge and wear that beautiful  smile of yours again. Your son is learning so much from you - strength in adversity, compassion, finding joy in the moments. He's going to grow up to be a magnificent person, just like his Momma.

You know how much we wish we could take away your pain and discouragement. But all we have to offer is our love. I hope it helps a little bit.

irene

[Searching48507]

Please know that I am keeping your thoughts in my prayers and praying that this newest chemo works miracles for you.  
Karen

[butterflytc]

Sending lots of love, and hope your way Becky. Dang it has been a hard road for you, I truly wish you well.
butterfly kisses
  Tc

[dawnlyn]

Becky,

I am sending you lots of positive thoughts...You are a very special lady and truly great mother....I wish I could take all your pain and uncertainty away....You truly can see the love and admiration in your sons eyes......Your eyes also show an abundance of love for your son.....Please know that we are all here for you....and you are loved.  I am praying the new Chemo will work.....Thinking of you....Love Dawnlyn

[sharon1630]

Becky, here's sending all the good karma to you and that the chemo does the job - and keeps those nasty critters at bay.  You seem like a great person and a terrific mom.  Cheerleading you all the way, fellow Canuck!

Sharon 1630.

[TrudieC]

Becky, you have no idea how much you mean to all of us here.  Feel the strong love and support that we all have for you.  It is unimaginable to go through what you have, and especially with the strength and humility you've shown to your friends and family.  You are simply amazing and you will continue to be.  I so hope and pray for better days for you so you can enjoy more time with your precious little one.

Love and hugs, Trudie

[Sandymac]

Becky, not much more to add.. You are truly one brave lady and your son is one fortunate little boy to have you in his life. Please know I too am sending all sorts of good thoughts your way.

Sandy

[nyc lady]

Becky - I cannot begin to understand what you are feeling....just want you to know that there are people out here that care a great deal about you and will help you in anyway we can.  As long as you are feeling strong, you need to keep fighting.
Love,
Pam

[Katie116]

Thinking of you and hopeing you are hanging in there. May God's mercy shine on you - Katie

[seawaves]

Treasure and enjoy every simple moment with your little boy. For you i send my new photo how nature can beat all winter odds an cheer us with simple beauty each spring! Keep well and strong.
Mary

[Tybear]

What an awful week I've been having. I was admitted to the hospital last week for severe kidney pain and it turns out my stent (the one I just had put in last December) was already badly blocked and my kidney was huge. The decision was made - time for another nephrostomy. You can imagine how hard this is for me...it was bad enough living with one of them...I'd just gotten to the point where I can get through a day and not really notice it. And now, to have two of them? I don't know how I'm going to do it. So far, it's been as bad as I suspected...I'm in a lot of pain but I know that will eventually go away. Then there's the whole aspect of having two bags of pee to worry about...none of my clothes look right and I can't seem to get comfortable. Not only that, but because my bladder is no longer in use (although I still sit on the toilet every time I go to the bathroom, out of habit I guess) I forget to wake up at night to empty the bags out...I can't feel where they're full. When they get full, it all starts to back up into my kidneys and then I'm back into pain. It's a horrible way to live, trust me...I know I should be so grateful for living, but I haven't gotten to that place yet.
I'm struggling with depression pretty bad too...I have days when it just seems overwhelming to get out of bed. I cry all the time and I'm so snappy with my son. I'm so irritable...being in pain all day and night will do that to you, I guess. My family and friends try to reach out to me and instead of accepting their help, I push them all away. They don't want to see how crappy I feel, or how unhappy I am. They want me to say that things are going great so they don't have to worry about me. I just can't fake it anymore...I just can't.
I'm sorry for this "poor me" post - when I started my reply, what I meant to say was how much it meant to me, to see this post with my name on it and what nice words you all sent to me. To know that you're thinking of me when you all have such busy lives as well? Well...it means a lot to me. It truly does.
To top of my bad nephrostomy expierence, I also got the results of my CT scan and it wasn't good. My pelvic tumors have grown, some of them by two centemeters and the cancer has spread to my lungs. I've called down to PMH and will be seeing my oncologist there next week to see if there are any clinical trials I may be eligible for. More wait and see...
I hope all this sadness ends soon...I wish I could make it all go away somehow, but I can't.
Beckyxx

[jane65]

Dear Becky,
My heart goes out to you, for all the suffering you're going through.

I can only pray that your health improves, and you have a better quality of life.

God help you and give you the strength.
Jane

[justscore]

I have never known such a BRAVE and STRONG person like you Becky!!!  You have had to struggle and fight for many things and I wish we could help take away some of your pain.  We are all here, behind you, praying for you and wishing for better days for you and your precious Ty!!!!!  I hope YOU know how amazing YOU are......the rest of us know!!!!

(((hugs)))

Heidi

[ireneo]

Dearest Becky,

This is a time you should focus on yourself. I know you've done so well to be strong, wear that beautiful smile of yours and make everyone around you feel comfortable. But you are having a rough time and it's OK to let people know that. You feel like cr@p, you're angry and exhausted. You have every right to cry and grumble. And if people who love you really want to know how you feel, let 'em have it. :-)

This isn't a sore toe we're talking about, trying to walk without limping. So take the time to rest, to do whatever helps. And part of being brave is letting others know what you need. We live too far away to be much help but you know the women on this board understand. So you always have their love (mine too of course). We're never to busy to tell you that.

hugs, irene

[nyc lady]

Beck - it's okay to feel what you are feeling and it is also okay that your friends and family know it too.  They too are having bad days, feeling sad too....maybe it is okay for everyone to share their feelings...things are fun and great for you now, and  you should not have to make believe they are.

This disease *****...it really does.

I hope that they are able to find a trial that will keep the tumors from growing and keep you free from pain.

I think of you and Ty all the time.

Love,
Pam

[lvfrogs]

Oh, Becky, I am so sorry to read what you are going through. It completely and totally *****. I am glad that you let it out on here, that is what we are here for. I am so amazed by the woman and mother that you are. You have been through hell and you still support all of us and the absolute love you have for Ty just shines through everything. I will keep you all in my prayers and pray that you get that trial!!! Sending big hugs, Colleen

[Flicka0459]

Becky,

I'm probably going to get a lot of flack from this, but for some reason I can hear Jan in my head telling me what to say.  So here goes.

You want to get p!ssed off.  Go ahead.  Scream & yell (but not to Ty).  Everyone tells you to be strong and that you're the strongest person they know, blah blah blah.  You're sick of it.  Cry if you want to.  Get mad!  Hit something (but not someone).  Throw something across the room.  Don't fake it anymore. You're mad and you want to get it out so do it!  You have 5 minutes to do this. Then when you're done, get a cup of tea and watch your favorite soap.

I listen to everyone tell you how strong you are and that you're an example for them.  Well, you are and that's the way it is.  You are strong, but you need to get out your frustrations too.  So take 5 minutes (no more than 5) and cry, scream and get mad, because when you do that you release these endorphines, that actually make you feel better. You're tired when you're done, but you'll feel better.  Don't let it build up that's not healthy either.

Please know that you are in my prayers everyday and I pray that you will find a way to beat this.

Ok I'm ready for everyone to yell at me now.

Love Lisa

[crab08]

Becky,

I don't know you and have just read this.  So sorry to hear about the pain and grief you are going through.  You and your son are in my thoughts and prayers.

[OzBron]

Becky,
As always my thoughts are with you. I check your blog regularly and my heart went to out to you when I read your last post. Just hold on to the good memories like Disney. I hope the oncologist has some ideas.
Bron

[wannasmile63]

Oh Becky, this just isn't fair. I agree with Lisa, its not healthy to pretend to those around you (except maybe Ty), that alls good, when you just feel like ****. A person can only take so much, and you've had more than your share and some. All I can say is just take anything they offer to ease your pain and suffering. May somehow, somewhere you find some relief from this constant torment, gentle ((((hugs)))) love Maurita.

[Cammz]

U hav been an inspiration 2us all. May God grant u da strength 2face dis battle head on. U r in my thoughts &prayers. Lotts of love

[Cammz]

U hav been an inspiration 2us all. May God grant u da strength 2face dis battle head on. U r in my thoughts &prayers. Lotts of love

[nyc lady]

In some ways I agree with Lisa and Maurita and others I don't.  I agree that feeling the way you do and letting everyone around you know is fine but, I don't think that all of it should be hidden from Ty.....he needs to see that you are angry but that you are not giving up.  Kids understand a lot more than we give them credit for and if  you don't express how you feel how is he going to know that his anger and hate towards this disease is okay....Ty knows what is going on around him, just like most kids do.  
I am going through a horrible time with my mother right now, and although I don't have my own kids, I have two god children that I am with all the time...they are 6 and 4..they see me cry, they hear that I am angry....but it is explained on a level that they understand and they too now tell me that they are angry that there Bubba (that is what they call my mother) is sick and going through what she is going through.  Life isn't always grand, and kids need to see that too.

Thinking about you...and if you weren't angry you wouldn't be normal.

Love,
Pam

[fungirl1011]

Becky, I know it has been a VERY LONG time since I have been on this forum, but I still keep updated on you.  I am sorry you are feeling so poorly.  You have a right to be mad, sad or crabby.  You have been through so much.  You are one of the STRONGEST women I have ever met.  You are such a good and loving mom, and an awesome person.  You have inspired me so much by all that you have endured.  You are always in my prayers.  I love you Becky.  We are here for you anytime you need us.  Love, Kasie

[kismetfarm]

Thinking of you sweetie.  

You don't have to be brave all the time you know.  It is okay to get mad at whoever in the universe decided that you were tough enough to handle this and ask why you had to have the bad things happen.   You can be brave again later when it is easier to be brave.

Hugs to Ty (and remember despite how you feel right now his life has been blessed to have you as his Mom)

[milashka]

Becky, I can't imagine what you must be going through right now, or maybe I can, although I myself have never had it that bad. I don't quite know what to say. I wish I could make it all go away for you and make you well. Instead, I wish you all the strength to cope with it. If one i strong, things seem a little easier.

Please know I am thinking of you, and please keep us updated.

[lvfrogs]

bumping up because there was an inquiry about Becky!

[Katie116]

Dear one, I hate, hate, hate this disease and rage and rant against it. And don't you just get sick and tired of people telling you you are 'strong?' What does that even mean? You are going through hell, and it's okay to rant and rave.

A shrink told me a long time ago when I was going through a tough time - she said, "Outside your front door, there is a huge round ball, and there's a door. You open the door and go inside there. You can stay for thirty minutes. You can cry, scream, yell, think about oh poor, pitiful me, how miserable your life is. Everything you want to say and think, it's okay.

But after 30 minutes, come back out. You're done with that for the day. And go about your life."

I am so sad to hear all you're going through. Doesn't make any sense does it? It's just so crazy and awful. I hope and pray that your doctors can find a clinical trial for you and that they can help you with depression. And I pray that you will allow your family and friends to draw close to you and support you. They love you, are sad, angry, and hopeful, too. Best to you. You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.

[melenzbee83]

My thoughts are with you. This disease just makes me angry, thats why i stopped coming on here because i cant bear to hear about good people like yourself in a lot pain it breaks my heart.

You are an extremely strong woman becky.


I am going to take a moment and prayer for you and your family and for you to be healed.

Love
Mel x x