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451053 tn?1237577749

Support My Mom

For those of you women who have gone through chemo, my Mom just had her 1st treatment Wed.  How can I best support her?  What words (if any) can I speak?   She has just begun to read the OC booklets and she is so sad and scared.  I just want to do something, anything to comfort her.  

Aside from the lack of energy, she is feeling good.  Will this continue or is this the calm before the storm?

Alisa
9 Responses
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272338 tn?1252280404
I was also given a booklet entitled "You and Chemo" (I think that was the name) by my onc when I first started. It was very informative and answered a lot of chemo questions. As the othe women have said, everyone is different and so is their reaction to different chemo meds. With me, I went once every 3 weeks. I usually felt pretty good the first week and it was the second week that was the worst, and it was not all that bad really. The first 2 times I had a few bouts with diahrea but then that went away. Like the others, fatigue was my worst problem and still is.
I too was very scared when starting chemo as I am sure most everyone is. You just do not know what to expect and we have all heard those old horror stories of how bad chemo used to be. But they have come a long way in dealing with all of that and it turned out that it was not near as bad as i thought it would be. Remember, that is just me, and we are all different, but as long as your mom is feeling good , hopefully she won't have to many problems. Also rest assured that most of the time, the side effects begin to ease up the longer you are on it.
  You are doing fine. It is obvious that you care very much. As far as what to say, let her be the one to decide. Sometimes many people have a hard time talking about it and others do want to talk about it. When she wants to talk just be there for her and listen. Just being there with her means a lot. I know that at the begining everything is so new and overwhelming and hard to deal with. It does get easier as you go along. Hang in there, you are doing great!
           Love Chris
Helpful - 0
354706 tn?1279470795
You may wish to look out for signs of depression. It can come in many forms - for my father, it is obsession with food/medication and throwing fits when he perceived the food is not nutritious enough or that the doctors are not caring enough. For my mum, it is crying and feeling of helplessness. In both instances, I was caught by surprise. Both my parents are mentally very strong people and suddenly, overnight, they changed. Don't allow the depression to fester and seek help quickly from the doctors. Although I have reservantions about anti-depressants, they do help my parents - at least to get through the treatment.

Take care - we caregivers must UNITE!
Helpful - 0
16702 tn?1234090645
The above suggestions are all a matter of opinion.  In my opinion, I have not had any problems with coffee enemas.  Take each suggestion and do further research, discuss with your Mom's Oncologist (more and more are open to including alternatives) and decide together what you feel is best for her.
attending a support group face to face is helpful.  I attended my first last week and I shead a years worth of pent up anxiety, fear, stress, sadness and anger. I felt sooooooooooo much better even snapped out of my depression.  Don't get me wrong, this is a great place to get support but a face to face with only cancer patience (no friends/family) is super different.
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167426 tn?1254086235
As all of you know when you are on treatment for any illness, you follow your doctors orders , and always ask before taking any OTC treatments that might conteract what he/she has perscribed for you.  I believe from reading about this treatment that it could be very harmful  for those on chemo for OVCA, the coffee enemas will irrate the colon and will dehydrate you.  the other mentions products may interfer with your chemo.
Helpful - 0
167426 tn?1254086235
It is against the MedHelp rules to advertize products on this forum.  Please refrain from this or you will be reported .
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
She needs support in many forms.  

The most important thing she needs to know is she can get better and there is hope.

The next she she needs to know is the chance of success is much greater
if you work with nutrition in addition to the conventional medicine.

I have made a number of posts recently on these nutrition matters and how my wife handled this.  It is so important if you and she want to see success.
And you won't hear this from your doctor.  They live in the dark ages when it comes to nutrition.

Check out:  www.**** where they have a free online movie called  The Gerson Miracle

BenFranklin (still around!)
Helpful - 0
398758 tn?1248220291
Hi,
Just like Marie3B said, it's obvious that you care a lot about your mom. She's lucky to have you!

My fatigue lasted during days 3 and 4 after chemo, but then began to go away.  They were my worst days. Other than those days, I was not tired.

Everyone is different, but let me share some things that made my life more enjoyable.  Maybe your mom will like these, too.

During those days, and further on between treatments, I found little things to be quite comforting, like surrounding myself with big, soft pillows in a comfy chair.  I watched lots of videos and did jigsaw puzzles.  I occasionally spritzed myself with my favorite perfume. I took lots of tub baths.  I used tooth whitening strips!  I took short walks with my husband.  Little things like those made me happy.

I, too, wish you and your mom the best.  Kathy
Helpful - 0
408448 tn?1286883821
The fact that you are on this forum asking how to best support your mom lets me know your mom already has a ton of support from you. You obviously love her and that is what she needs most.  She may have times when she is very grouchy. I did. Still do. Just know that sometimes the meds make a chemo patient very edgy. Decadron did it for me. I could have fought a bear some days on that stuff. During my treatments I liked just having someone sit and talk with me. You will be a great help. I wish you and your mom the best , Marie
Helpful - 0
194838 tn?1303428544
Hi Alisa,
its normal for your mum to feel like that , everyone is different in how their body responds to chemo but generally you get more tired after each treatment . The tiredness will continue and will last several months after chemo has finished as it takes its toll on all body systems. Some people recover faster than others it depends on age level of fitness before starting chemo and how ill you are before chemo starts. I never had an issue with sickness but did get very bad pains in my legs and numbness in bottoms of my feet but there are very good meds now to help keep these side effects to a minimum. I think just listening to your mum and being there is a great support , try to keep some humour if possible as it really helps , i tried to watch funny films when i started to get depressed and it really helped me a lot. Anyway wishing you and your mum the best .

Take care Angiexxx
Helpful - 0
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