Waiting and Thinking

[missaboo]

Ahhh, I think I may go crazy, waiting again. I thought this journey was over with the hemorrhagic cyst diagnosis and that with the latest u/s it would have resolved. Wow was I living in dreamland! Now I have a left adnexal mass that the dr. and radiologist do not believe is cancer, but they don't know what it is. Comforting isn't it? LOL

So, I have a total of 11 days until I have my  next Dr. appointment. I just want to know. But the MRI cannot diagnose ovarian cancer, can it? I'm not even sure how the MRI helps in this case. I've read a lot of stuff and my head just spins.

So with waiting I have been doing a lot of thinking. One thing - my face and under my chin have been breaking out like mad. My face has been freaking out for a few weeks, but I thought it was due to new makeup. And despite using acne cleansers, it's not going away. Now I am wondering if acne is associated in any way with ovarian problems.

And I'm finding in all this that you quickly find out who cares and who doesn't. And some of the ones who appear to care are only being nosy. One of the greatest gifts in life that a person can receive is feeling loved. Right now, I don't feel that very much.

Oh I guess I'm down. I just want to know. I hate waiting. I'm usually patient. 11 days isn't that long. But when you are going through this whole scare, it can feel like an eternity.

I keep telling hubby that I'm not scared. That it is what it is. And that it we'll deal with it. So why am I going crazy about waiting? Maybe I'm putting on a brave face. I can't seem to keep my mind occupied on anything else but this.

Guess I'll stop. I could probably ramble on for hours. I've got to figure out something to help me for the next 11 days. Maybe it'll be better once I go back to work on Monday. Lord knows this learning this new inventory system doesn't even give me time to think about lunch. Let alone anything else.

[missaboo]

I feel so silly now. My period arrived today. SIX DAYS BEFORE IT WAS SUPPOSED TO! Ugh! I was very concerned about having my MRI tomorrow with this happening, but they told me that I can still have the test done. I just hope that my period does not affect the results.

Gail, you totally made me smile. :)

[gah_70]

I don't think ovarian cancer can cause acne, but the hormone fluctuations from any kind of mass can. My face was a mess before surgery, but after surgery and a few rounds of chemo, my face cleared up and actually looked good...even while on chemo!  I don't think that necessarily means you have cancer, but the hormones are out of whack (do you like my medical terminology??) so there's any number of lovely things that can cause.  Mix that with the stress of waiting, and, well, you have my permission to scream your bloody head off if you want to. :)  If your husband happens to notice, just tell him to follow the rules of PMS x 10!

Hope you smiled a little.

Gail

[shewrites]

I don't think I've seen anyone on this forum comment on acne as a side effect of ovca -- or even or their chemo.  Do you break out when you're nervous?  

I hope both you and Gail are able to keep your emotions in check.  Lots of women on this forum will pray for you both.  Including me.

Good luck.  

[missaboo]

You've got a deal. :)

I hope all goes well for you. I wish you all the same. God bless you, Gail. We'll get through this, together.

I'll be checking in every day.

[gah_70]

Let's make a deal. My next appointment with my doctor is on Feb 23, too. I will find out what my new treatment plan will be that day. I've been stable for more than 2 years, but my second recurrence was confirmed about a month ago. I am rather pensive myself. So let's wait together. Maybe it won't quite as bad knowing someone else out there is waiting, too.

Wishing you peace of mind and the strength to make it through until next week.

Gail