What to expect at the end???

[CarrieAnn06]

Hi.  I am posting for the first time here.  My friend has advanced ovarian cancer.  Her doctor just told her there

[girlie123]

my mom has stage 4 ovarian cancer,her dr. has told us surgery isnt a option,what should we exspect from that

[MickeyVicki]

Will she be receiving hospice care?  I work in the home health care field, and have worked with a number of hospice organizations.  All of them have booklets and guides for the patients, as well as their friends and families, that help them understand the process.  

If she is receiving proper care, then she should have minimal pain, if any at all.  Insist on it if there is any reluctance on the part of her medical professionals!  The end-time quality of life of the patient is very dependent on being as pain-free as can be arranged.

[barbaad]

hey, my mum passed away from ovarian cancer 2 weeks back. she organised my wedding 6 weeks prior to that & she seemed fine. complained of slight back pains. her ca 125 remained low & inconclusive to the very end. she had a succuesfull surgery 2 years back & had been fine ever since.

she stopped eating  3 weeks before her death & was on a high dose of morphine, the worst part is we all thought she would be fine till a week before she died. her liver gave up on her. we were by her bedside all through, she suffered witth dignity & was concious upto the very last day.

recurrent ovarian cancer when aggresive gives the patient no chance, learnt it the hard way.

[CarrieAnn06]

Thank you for your post.  It was beautiful, and comforting. I know she'll be with her loved ones again.

[merytre]

God bless you for being such a special friend.  I think the end will be peaceful.  It will probably be more traumatic to her loved ones then her. Tell her that she will be aware of the people around her to some extent, but as she gets closer to passing to the other side, she will start to be more and more aware of angels and messengers who were sent to aid her on her journey, and as she focuses on them, she will slowly become less aware of her "earthly" loved ones here.  Once she reaches this point she won't really want to stay in her painful body anymore and will be ready to go with the spiritual messengers.  She will probably even know some of them who passed before her, she will probably be so happy and excited to see them again and will feel so much love, and will know that she will see the ones here on earth again, she will want to go with them.  This will be when her spirit leaves her body, and will be what we earth bound humans call "death".  It is hard for us, naturally, but what we can't see is that it is actually a wonderful time for this dying person.  Only her shell "body" will remain but that is not her.  Her spirit "soul" will be gone and will be soooo happy.   :)  Merytre

[kaz39]

hi i am so sorry for you and your friend to be in this position. if its any comfort or help i just lost my mum 4 weeks ago to this awful disease and the end was very peaceful. i will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers as i know how hard this terrible time is for you all. xx

[merytre]

You are welcome sweetie, I also wanted to add, I come from a whole family of doctors and I know how they are.  They like to be helpful and involved when they think they are helping (curing) people.  But when they think they can't help anymore, they sometimes seem to be "tight lipped".  This is probably because they don't like this aspect of medicine.  Also, they really don't know much about how or when the end will come, so they don't want to say much because they know emotions are very high and they don't want to get anyone anymore hurt or angry at them either.  I know it seems like they are cold sometimes, I went through it when my mom died several months ago, but I do know that most of them do care, they just have a hard time with this aspect of medicine.  A lot of patients get tachycardic (fast heart rate) when the body is wearing down.  I don't know if any of this helps, but atleast you will get a different perspective to see it from.  You and your friend are in my prayers.   Merytre

[cinny83]

My dad died of stomach cancer 4 months after diagnosis.  He was pretty good until the last 2 weeks.  The second to last week he lost his strength and needed help to walk.  The last week of his life he was in bed.  It was sad yet very moving and lovely.  He was surrounded by his family and friends who visted every day and made him laugh and laugh by telling funny stories, including his twin brother who also had stomach cancer and passed away 1 year later. (they went to chemo together).  He had a morphine patch and did not seem to be in pain.  I think of that week a lot and it makes me feel good to remember the love.  Dying was not the worst of it, finding it advanced with no hope was.

It was actually very peaceful because there were no decisions.  We just wanted to be with him and love him and wipe his brow with a wet washcloth.  He was very aware until the last day and then he just stopped breathing - very peaceful.

God bless you both - she will be in a better place with no suffering where you will reunite one day.
Lu

[dalip]

my mum died from ovc and they kept her pretty well dopped up. I feel she felt no pain(at 1 time she was as high as a kite!)At the end she just closed her eyes and went. It was a happy? release as it was so quick that we felt she had not suffered too much. GOD GO WITH YOUR FRIEND. Be brave for her and grieve after she has gone.
Good night God bless.

[OCFB]

You might want to have the hospice folks in your area come over for a visit.  They are wonderfully comforting and very willing to get involved.  Ask at the hospital where your friend is being cared for.  
This is a very difficult thing to witness and I commend you for being such a true and caring friend.
Linda

[Aquinnah]

I am no nurse or a medical person, just really want to express my sympathy both to your friend  and to yourself. Your friend is clearly a brave person. and you are clearly a very good friend.

Maybe it is worth you posting your question over on the other ovca site on medhelp as well, as that's moderated by medical people.

thinking of you both!

Tanya