cancelled surgery

Just to let all of you know..I had to cancel my surgery that was scheduled for friday 2/23..I have made myself so emotionally sick with worry that now it has affected my physical.  I was throwing up and have had stomach pains.  I spoke with my doctor and right now I am seeking to find a therapist that I could talk to..someone to help me deal with this extreme amount of anxiousness.  It really has gone beyond just regular apprehensiveness. I have been depressed too. I have suffered with panic disorder and overwhelming fears for quite some time. My doctor is almost sure that my cysts are endometriomas but still feels i should have the surgery as soon as I am mentally ready..has anyone else had any emotional problems..can anyone offer me any advise to put me in a better frame of mind...I appreciate all of your time and for listening.

[SimplyStar]

Ok lets set down and have a little talk about all this. What you have done to yourself has made things worse than it should be, by letting your fears conquer your desire to get better. Women are made of strong stuff, because we face all kinds of fears daily. What you are doing is letting your imagination take control of your brain and thus your body. I can tell you are a person that does not know how to relieve stress by letting it all go. There are many ways to face a difficult situation, lets try to find one for you. By cancelling your surgery, you are simply putting it off till another time. You know you have to get this over with, so that you can go on with life and be free of the anxiety it is causing you. In the first place, if you are worried about the surgery itself, they can give you a medication upon entering the hospital that will alliviate all the worry. You mentioned about the type of inceasion you would have, is that really as important as getting this all taken care of?  You know, because you said you have children, that childbirth is not a really pleasent thing in itself, but do we remember the pain, NO. Try to consider how this may be affecting  your family, you got them all primed for the time you will spend getting this taken care of, now you back out. It is not always easy to face a really difficult time, but many women before you have and many more will after, you are not alone, EVER. gia I am almost 77 years old, a widow of 13 years, a retired nurse, mother of 5,one is a Downs Syndrome and I have a daughter with OVCA. Do I let stress overcome me, NO, if I did nothing would get done. If I was your Mother I would ask you to consider calling them back today and ask if you can still get it done on Friday. Then by this time next week you can be back home and on the recovery list. Do not fear what MIGHT be, do what your doctor tells you need to do. If you still can't do it, consider hypnosis so that your libedo is overtaken by suggestion. Sorry if I preached to you, but I know you can get through this just fine if you will just LET IT HAPPEN. Pack your suitcase, get a good book, nice nightie, lotion, lip balm, your own pillow and all the other goodies these ladies tell you about.  I have worked in OR's, ER's, delivery rooms, for 40+ years, the doctors and nurses care about you, they want you to be a success as we on the forum all do. We all care.  So after reading my plea I hope you will do the right thing for yourself and your family and friends, and get better soon. For some reason I couldn't get to sleep tonight and I came in here, I think you are that reason. Marty

[GinaGrape]

Many hugs to you.  I know what stress/depression/anxiety can do for a body.  It can destroy you, can't it?  It makes you feel like you are going down a steep hill and NEVER coming back.  It is beyond frightening.  

You will get over this feeling.  You WILL come back up that "steep hill".  I promise.  But first thing is first.  Let's get this stuff out of your body.  It doesn't belong there.  I agree 100% with SimplyStar!  Call back.  Get your surgery date today, hopefully they will get you right in.  Get this foreign stuff out of your body.  It doesn't belong there.  Getting it removed will help you move on emotionally.  Will it be difficult for you to go through with the surgery?  Yes it will.  But I promise you that you will feel better afterwards.  Still seek counseling.  Get it today.   But PLEASE go forth with the surgery.  I will look for your posts daily.  I will pray for you until I hear that you had the surgery done.  Please keep us posted.  

[gma718]

I appreciate all your caring thoughts, sincere wishes and true compassion.  Unfortunately at this time my surgery has been postponed. I am going to seek some coumseling to overcome this emotional roller coaster and deal with my issues head on and hopefully everything will work out soon. I hope all of you keep me in your prayers....hopefully I will be able to get passed this soon and move on and have the surgery with the right frame of mind.  You are a wonderful group of women who helped me in so many ways and have been there every step of the way. At this time my mental state needs to be addressed and that is my next step. I have wonderful support from my family. I have already started the process of looking for a therapist and take the next step to my recovery.

[hatgal]

OK, I feel I can really help you here.  Your mental frame of mind does inhibit you from doing what needs to be done. It crippled me in the beginning and I imagine this is what you feel like now. I have severe panic/anxiety disorder and I have been having panic attacks again for the past several months when I hadn't had any in about ten years (probably due to my life struggles right now). You feel out of control of your life, am I right? I actually had one yesterday while driving (with my 1-year-old in the car). Ten years ago I began counseling and it helped tremendously, but I also have to take anti-anxiety medication. The two go hand-in-hand (I actually need a session b/c of my recent attacks).

Your upcoming surgery is causing you too much anxiety and, like you, there would be no way I could go through a major surgery feeling that way. But you must have your surgery soon. On the other hand, you also need to get your mental state back on track and then pursue the physical issues that you so need to do.

Just an FYI re: medication: in the beginning the doctor's put me on a valium type drug just to stop the anxiety attacks. While in thereapy I then switched to a permanent medication - Zoloft, which worked wonders. Sometimes we just can't overcome it alone - it is mostly a hormonal imbalance in the brain that we can't control and that is what these medications are for.

Please seek the counseling and also speak with your doctor about anti-anxiety medication. Apparently your doctor already knows your mental state and I'm sure would oblige you.

I hope this information helps you to seek the treatment you need so that you can get on with life very, very soon. I am so praying for you as I don't wish this disorder on anyone (much less the gyno issues)! Best, best of luck to you.....

[lucymullis]

I agree very strongly with the last post.  Please consider going to a psychiatrist for medication.  Not a regular doctor.  When I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer I went into a severe depression and tried everything to move forward.  My hormones were going crazy.  I went to a psychiatrist and got meds and now I am so much better.  My background is social work and, although I could see what was happening to me, I could not affect a change.  It's important for us to realize depression is very normal for someone dealing with the issues that you have.  Most importantly, we would not ignore our physical symptons and we should consider our emotional needs equal.  I wish you the best.

[SimplyStar]

Out of curiosity I visited the anxiety web site on here, Since I am a firm believer in natural remedies I looked for that type of help. I have used NativeRemedies.com many times, they wanted to put my grandson on ritalin, 2 years ago, I hate the stuff, saw what it does to kids, so his parents and I ordered Focus and BriteSpot from them and now he is doing great in school, in fact the school where he goes is now offering parents the web site to read and make the deceasion of choice. I myself was able to quit taking insulin  with a natural mixture from them. My doctor approved it after my blood sugars responded to it better than with the insulin. I found several helping rememdies for panic and anxiety attacks on there, one is called PureCalm, another one is MindSoothe, there are good testimonials from users there also. I have found this company to be a very reputable firm. I am not connected with this company whatsoever, but your panic attacks disturb me and I only wish to help.

[AnotherKatie]

I am very sorry to hear you are going through this, it's not fun.
You must be in the States, because here in Canada, seriously, you wouldn't DARE cancel a surgery, because you might have several months wait to get it again!

We all felt terrible anxiety and we do really relate.  When I was lying on the table I was ready to flip off and RUN!  But the nurses and the anesthesilogist were so kind.  (my gyn, not so much lol)

Avoiding it won't help, in fact, it might make it all a lot worse.  Once you get it done, it's over before you know it, and then you can relax, and that's the whole idea, right?  To get it behind you!  They give you great drugs!

I can tell you one thing that has helped me over the years... HYPNOSIS!  Really.  It does work wonders, if you are willing to try.  You have to find the right practioner.  

Good luck and don't wait ... I don't think it helps!

[GreenWoods]

Peggy Huddleston's book, "Prepare for Surgery, Heal Faster:  A Guide of Mind-Body Techniques" will help you.  Dr. Goodman has recommended the book on this site.  I got it from the library a couple of days prior to my surgery.  Huddleston's tips helped me feel more in control of the process.  And I only had time to adopt a few of them.

Good luck with preparing for your surgery.  I have a feeling you will have a good and positive outcome.

[embla_2010]

As someone else said, we all felt anxiety around our surgeries.  I had a lab. done at the age of 24 or 25 to get my endo *cleaned up*.  
Even though its scary, its not as bad as most of us think before going in and they take really good care of you.
My consern is also the fact that if you were able to get the surgery and you refused it, when can you get back in ?

I am aso in Canada (I saw someone else said they were)and I have been waiting for two years to get into surgery.  I have multiple ovarian cysts (the Ultrasound ech stopped counting after a while), cervical cysts and endometrioma's.  I have been on heavy narcotic painkillers (and I have never taken painmeds before this because I dont like that stuff) to try and manage the pain (I scream until I pass out).  If I could have surgery tomorrow, I would run for it, scared or not.  I have thought about going either to the States or Europe for surgery (Im not from CDN orig), but have not done it due to other probs.  My youngest of three is almost two. I am sure that you have loved ones around you that want you around in the best shape you can be in and not getting that taken care of right away robs them of the best of you.

I think its important to remember even though things are scary that we are privil. in North America to be able to get the care that many get and weigh that against the fear.  In so many places you might not be able to get care.  I hope everything works out and please let us know.  (hugs)

[hatgal]

I think gma718 would have the surgery if she were able. The panic/anxiety disorder is a severe disease in iteself and it takes precedence over whatever else is going on because you just can't manage and control your emotional state. It is way beyond thinking positive thoughts and the like, not that these methods are not good - it's just way way beyond that. I know, I've been there several times. Once you get to that mental state (and I don't want to make it seem like a breakdown - it's not), you have to find your way of coming all the way back and mine was a combination of therapy and medication that took several months to get under control. Once it's under control, then other methods can be tried to find what is the best long-term. gma718  - I wish you all the best with this very serious issue so that you can come all the way back and take care of your physical conditions as soon as possible. God Bless....

[embla_2010]

I did not mean to suggest that this was just a question of thinking positive....
How ever, there are things such as sublingual ativans that are short acting and can help in situations along with trying to stay in control of ones emotions.  It will calm the person down in the moments of anxiety along with helping one self.  

You see.. I TOO have been there but for other reasons.  I have watched my husband go through 9 brain surgeries/catatonic states/comas n so forth in the last few years. I gave birth to one of our children early so that I wouldnt go into labor thee days later outside of neurosurgery.  I have also lost my father, found out that everyone down to my one almost two year old will need annual lung x rays due to the fact that the military has been poisoning us in our military quarters with Asbestos and black mold blowing in through the H-Vac. I dont know if I will live until my kids are adults, I dont know if my kids will make it to adulthood.  I have been told over and over again that my husband is going to die as he lies there with external tubes into his brain in neuro intensive care and I have fallen to pieces absolute pieces, but in the end you have to go on.  Its the same with any type of cancer, we can not stop living, we have to go on and live each day to the fullest of our abilities, because otherwise we can just lay down and give up.

Along with all of this I scream every day til I pass out with out pain killers, because of what is going on with me (and thereforeI am on pain meds every day).

You are right anxiety can be very debilitating, that does not take OUR responsibility away to try and help ourselves. I have had Endo surgery and the recovery was way better than I thought it would be.  I really would hope that the orig poster would go in as quickly as possible, because life after the surgery is so much better than before and I have the belief that she can do it, that she is a strong woman and that she understands how much better it will be afterwards.

[hatgal]

I am so very sorry for your situations and my heart goes out to you.

Yes, we do have a right to our ailments but, as you said, we also have a responsibility to get well and take care of ourselves. I believe I stated that in all of my posts. You just can't sit around and let this disease (anxiety) take over your life and I didn't. I do know a person who does let this rule her life and it is upsetting to see her sit in her kitchen day in and day out with a rubber band on her wrist. I could never live like that and would urge anyone with this disease to take action immediately, which is the advice I offered GMA718.

My very best to you; you appear to be a strong person and I so admire that. Best of luck......