gma718,do the surgery!

[Ms_Makita]

Hi,just finished catching up on some threads.I'm really sorry about the negative comments and hope it is over by now.I was in same thing awhile back with rude comments,but I will admit I was not especially nice myself,some was brought on myself.Stress will make you snappy and I was very snippy! the last place to argue is here...this is place of questions and support,alot of wonderful ladies on here to offer us this.
     As for the surgery..please just go through with it..the benefits outweigh the risk! what is it scaring you the most? I also have anxiety issues so I totally understand.You have two childran counting on you dear..they need you,and you need this surgery for a healthy outcome.Calling it off or prolonging it wont change nothing..your anxiety will worsen..your cyst are not going to go away,your gallbaldder needs to come out...get it over  with in one surgery! I'm scared I wont get the surgery!! I can deal with the cysts,but the daily gallbladder pain and attacks is awful,surgeon refused to take gallbladder out until further testing.I'm mad for not having the surgery yet..I cant wait.I'm scared and it is giving me anxiety problems,but this is one surgery I'm looking forward to! I've had 2 abdominal surgeries,1 major surgery,once my fears were confronted..I felt I could take along whatever comes next.You can do this..dont back out.The lord is with you..put your faith and trust into him.*Hugs'n Prayers*
                             Stephanie

[gma718]

I know everything you said and understand it...Fear is Fear I wish I had some control over it..It has been a tough week on here..and yes alot of us are under stress...stress can make a person snippy of course...anyway, hopefully that is behind me now. Right now I need to focus oin what needs to be done and make up my mind to just do it. I had severe panic attacks all weekend with the upcoming surgery..in addition I am suffering from a toothache. so I decided to have the tooth pulled and then have the surgery in a few weeks after my sister's wedding. You ask what I am afraid of????where should I begin...anesthia, pain, complications, all of it..I decided to try and have a better outlook for the next time...I am going to convince myself that everything is going to be allright..I have such a supportive family and If not for myself I need to do this for them. the UNKNOWN scares me but I need to turn it over to god and let him walk me through it...I am not a religious person but do believe this is god;s plan for me and maybe in the long run I will come out stronger. I appreciate your honesty and support and I will need plenty of that. Take care of yourself...are u married with children? I just turned 40 have 2 kids ages 6 and 11 and a great husband....who I am sure is going crazy from all this so if not for me...i need to do it for them...Thanks for listening.

[loralai]

I can sympathize with your fears. I had my surgery in August. The WAITING is what gets ya. It gives your brain too much time to think up all the things that can go wrong. It's awful. I actually got diagnosed as Stage 1C after my surgery. Honestly, I can tell you that not knowing and not being able to do anything about it was worse. I am not hanging in limbo anymore. I am on a new path to being well and keeping my head positive. I refuse to accept anything else. I am 35 and my girls will be 3 and 2. You'll do fine with the surgery. I can't tell you how much better I feel now and didn't even realize how bad I felt before the surgery till after I had it all done. It's amazing to me what you get used to. Before my surgery I worried the most about anesthesia. I hate the time when you start to wake up and your not fully awake but not fully asleep. I guess I am a control freak and not being able to function properly is what I worried about. I always vomit after being put under so that freaked me out too. I can say that I had a fabulous anesthesiologist and didn't get sick at all. The surgery went well and my recovery was pretty easy now looking back...and that's with two toddlers!! You'll do fine. Just a bump in the road is what this is. Take care of you! Lori

[hatgal]

You must stop the panic attacks - now!  I don't mean to be pushy but since you have not conquered them on your own, please seek out the meds I told you about in one of my posts - Klonopin.  It is a harmless valium-type med that will completely calm your nerves and take away the panic.  You will not be in la-la land; quite the contrary - you will be able to focus on what you need to do with a rational mindset and without worrying about panic attacks - that alone brings them on!  Some may not agree with me, but it sounds like you are where I was 11 years ago - completely debilitated by panic attacks and I don't know how you can live like this.  You owe it to yourself and your family to do this. Take care of yourself!  I'm praying for ya!

[bmcd]

When my daughter was dx with childhood ovca, I was devestated.  I had panic attacks that made me feel like I was having a heart attack, which made the panic attack worse. Wasn't sleeping, wasn't eating, etc...Talked with my doc, told him there must be something in his arsenal to help me through this.  I could not let the attacks continue.  I was truely afraid that they were going to cause a heart attack.  He gave me klonopin.  Worked wonders.  It does not make you drowsy, and has no euphoric effects, absolutely no la, la, land.  I took it when I felt anxious, angry, or having a panic attack and like magic no more anxiety, anger, or panic.  Worked fantastic and still able to focus on the tasks and decisions we were facing.  I would recommend this medication based on personal experience.

Take care and God Bless,
Bob

[hatgal]

Thank you for your opinion on this wonderful med.  I too was rushed to the hospital a few times b/c I thought I was having a heart attack.  It is the most awful feeling next to the real thing (I can imagine) that there is.  Now that you have chimed in, I hope GMA takes to heart and gets the med so that she can get on with what needs to be done in her life.  I also still take it sometimes when the stresses of life are bringing on more anxiety than I can handle. Thanks again for the support!

[bmcd]

I know what you mean.  Truely wonderful med.  I had some pretty serious life altering, life threatening decisions to make, and still do, while going through a very serious situaton.  Panic and anxiety was really standing in the way of making these decisions.  There was not alot of time to sit and contemplate what to do, rational decisions had to be made quickly.  It was a little humbling to have to call the doc. and admit I couldn't do it by myself and needed help, but It was absolutely necessary for my health, my wife's health, and my daughter's health and future. Amazing how debilitating anxiety can be.  And then of couse I began to think about my wife or daughter finding me dead on the floor from a heart attack and how that would just complicate the situation further.  Bottom line, if anxiety has gotten a stong hold on your life there is medical help available and asking for help to get through is just the right thing to do.

Take care and God Bless,
Bob

[Stretch63]

You express so well the fear that we all had facing surgery, thanks for sharing. Best of luck! Hugs to you and your family...

[gma718]

Thanks so much for your wonderful post...I appreciate all the honesty and sincerity that your post has given me. I am going to try and move on from here and get past the anxiety and just do it...I also have 2 girls and I am being selfish to them by letting my fear stand in the way. You seem like a wonderful person and i wish you nothing but good luck and good health for you from here on in.

[hatgal]

I know - I've been following your posts for as long as you've been posting.  I am so sorry for your pain.  I have a 15 year old daughter and couldn't imagine (well I could) how terrible this must be for you and your family. My daughter had meningitis a few years back and that was bad enough.  Yes, we cannot let the anxiety take over and it is humbling to ask for help and admit you can't do it on your own, but isn't it a relief when you get the help you need?  I've been silent to your posts until now, but please now know that you, Ashley and your wife are very much in my thoughts and prayers always.  God Bless.  Elizabeth

[gma718]

Thanks, THANKS, THANKS....I am going to speak with my doctor about the Klonopin. You are both so right..if I dont start taking control of the situation than being on this forum and asking for advise is a waste of time. Bob, I also have been keeping up with your posts and I am so happy to hear that Ashley is doing well. I feel like a fool complaining about my nonsense when there are some real life altering issues here..so forgive me for my foolishness...as a mother of 2 daughters I can honestly say I feel your pain. Also, the stregnth and love you have given your daughter as a father is incredible. I applaud you. I am going to stop all this negativity and try harder to be more positive...I also am not sure what lies ahead but for now I need to take it one day at a time have these 2 large masses out 15cm and 12cm....hopefully benign and live life to the fullest. Hatgal, you have been great, knowledgeable and a wonderful supporter thanks:)

[Ms_Makita]

Hi! thanks to all of you for your support for everyone here.You all are really awesome caring people!!!
    gma,anxiety/panic attacks are so life altering,it can take ahold of your life and be a prisoner until you decide to  fight it.It isnt easy,but it can be overcome,med's will help.I overcome it for years for it to only come back,but I'm going to fight it off again.I really do feel for you,and everyone here for what they are going through.I feel same you do about having surgery,but I know I have to face it,the unknown scares the heck outta me! I made it through many surgeries..we will both be ok! I'm 29 yrs old,single,no kids from Michigan, would love to have family someday just havent met the right man yet,with everything hitting me at once ,the health problems I just havent been looking,focusing on my health.I have so many "hang ups" it is unbelievable and I worry if any man could deal with me or accept me,lol ! my friends and family are very understanding and supportive..thank God for them! I'm battling eating disorder right now,because of gi problems, and pain I avoid food so in a sense it is anorexia,and I'm scared.When they thought it was ovc that put me over the edge!
         You've been hit with a double whammy for sure!! no wonder your a bundle of nerves..who wouldnt be?!? I'am in similar boat,I'm always here for you,and thank you for being there for me.I can tell your a strong person,dont be scared...God is watching over you (:, your in my prayers,
                                                        Stephanie

[gma718]

Its crazy how our minds can think...thanks for the support I really appreciate it and hope your feeling better..i didnt get another surgery date yet but I am taking it one day at a time for now..I am trying to fight the panic and have decided when the time comes I am going to do the surgery and get it over with so that I can move on....my husband says I will be a stronger person because of it...hope he is right!! Please take care of yourself...i dont like this anorexia thing...the last thing you need is another issue...please get in touch with your doctor...take care :)

[loralai]

Awe! Thanks to you too. I am upbeat and positive by nature I guess. Drives my sister nutso. She's a bit of the opposite. She has more reasons to be too. Anyway, have a great weekend everyone. Happy whatever you celebrate and may the newness of spring bring nothing but good things to you all. Lori