has this cancer gone undetected for a long time

[beaxx]

My 46yr sister has a pea size lump appear in the crease of her neck three months ago.Her gp gave her antibiotics, to no avail. She had a biopsy on  24th dec and last week was told she needed an MRI. She has been told that she has cancer of both ovaries, an 8cm mass in her pelvis and 3 tumours in her chest area ( I dont think in her lungs),apparantly the tumours are secondary cancers.She is having an ultrascan today and going to meet her specialist tommorow. What I would like to know is. would you class this as a stage 3 or 4, do you think she has had this for sometime as I am confused about the secondaries, as I thought you got them a few years after the initial cancer, if atall.? Ive looked up lots of information,and can see why this is called the silent killer. My sister has never looked or felt better,the only "symptons" are, she has a bloated feeling and looks a bit wider,dry persistant cough and frequenly needs to pass urine. I suppose what I really want is an honest prognosis, I know that everyone is different and read many testimonys,but on a professional point, what stage would you class her as, and is the cancer likely to spread agin. many thanks

[rtapper]

I feel for you. My older sister had a similar situation. She had a lump in her neck which turned out to be a tumor in her lymph nodes. When the biopsy came back, it contained several different types of cells, with the diagnosis being ovarian cancer as the primary cancer.

We were pretty ignorant, since there up to then there had been no incidence of cancer in either side of the family. We didn't know what questions to ask and we were sent from specialist to specialist, none of whom seemed to share info with each other making it very difficult  for us to sort out what should be done.

My sister was a fighter and she did everything...and I mean everything...the doctors told her to. She had a hysterectomy, chemo and radiation. She seemed to be OK but then the tumors which had only been briefly alluded to...as a shadow on her liver during her surgery...became obvious. She had secondary chemo for stomach cancers and proton radiation therapy for brain tumors. She had one doctor who tried to talk her into some experimental treatments...who clearly knew what we didn't -- that she was probably not going to benefit from traditional treatments. But she got very angry because she took this as a signal that she was not going to make it and refused.

I tell you this story not to depress or scare you but to share with you my thoughts as her sister and friend. You must have and should have hope...no one knows how someone will react to treatments. However, ask questions -- the hard questions -- like how bad is this really, what does the spread of the cancers mean and what physical repercussions will certain treatments have . You must be your sister's best advocate, helping her to face what she needs to but also to help her make decisions in her own best interests.

And also, take care of yourself. There's a lot of guilt here as well, irrational as that may seem. It's hard to watch a loved one go through this anguish while you are seemingly healthy...and I can tell you there isn't one day that I don't wonder if I'll be next. I wish you strength and good luck....

[beaxx]

Thanks for your kind but honest mail.My sister has had various tests done and told that she will start chemo in 2 wks time, followed by a hysterectomy in a few months time.She has been told that the cancer is in her ovaries but not spread?yet she has all the symptoms i first posted,also the lump in her neck has grown,she has a large lump in her stomach,she can feel it when she lies down,She has a persistant cough and a huge belly,she is constantly weeing.She hasnt been told what stage she is, only that she will be very sick,lose all her hair and have to stay home for atleast 6 months.When she asked about the lumps in her chest,they seemed unconcerned and said the chemo would take care of them and that they were secondaries.So she is just taking it in her stride and getting ready to fight,she said today,im not ready to die,ive got too much living to do.So she is really going to give it her best shot.Im not convinced that its going to be as straightfoward as the specialist has told her.but I feel like I have an inner strenght at the moment,by reading the amazing stories of survivors and sufferers of this "whispering cancer" I know that a positive attitude and determination goes such a long way.Its saddens me that such a simple ca125 blood test which is a good indicator for OC is not part of womens screening.My thoughts are with everyone who is suffering from any life threatening illnesses.