Aa
jan 214
i already posted on the other post for "Im venting"...no disrespect but I feel you were quite harsh to the poster lady452008.....Gia :)
I' m probably going to regret putting my nose into this discussion.. but, much like Jan, I call things as they are. I'm one of the fortunate ones that came on this forum 2 months ago looking for information, and hope. I received both from these ladies, Jan being one of them, among others. I was furtunate to become a 99% clubber but remain in the off chance someone comes onto this site feeling like I did with fearful questions.. perhaps I can help alleviate some of the concerns based on my experience only. It was heart warming to see the care and concern and yes, even playfulness expressed on this forum . But, in the past two months, I have never seen your name either in response to a question or as encouragement to another poster. I can't help but wonder why you feel so upset with the forum. It isn't as though all we/they do is foolishness. There's a great deal of information given out. Again, I just had to put my 2 cents in for what it's worth as a newcomer . Thanks for listening...Sandy
A Group Hug is what we all need...You made a beautiful and direct point with your above post...Thank you for helping me see things clearer...Gia :)
Typically I dont post to threads where there is conflict going on - there's enough of that in our daily lives off the forum. I mainly post when I think I might be able to help someone with the little knowledge I have, and especially if it's someone with symptoms like mine or my type of ovarian cancer.
But this thread "got" me. Jan214 was one of the first people to welcome me to this board, email me, add me to her friends list, and keep in touch via email as much as her treatments have allowed her. What I like most about her is that she is direct and tells it like it is. She also has a great sense of humor and a wealth of knowledge she is fortunately willing to share. In some respects, she is one of the heartbeats of this board with ideas for us to share and keep us going, help us get to know each other better and honor each other in our common struggles.
We don't all always have the same perspective on everything, and that's okay. It is also important to remember to read things twice and ask ourselves if there is another way to interpret something we read that we might at first glance find brusque or "rude". Without seeing someone's facial expression or hearing the inflection of their voice it is easy to misinterpret a post or give it a more negative slant than was intended, as has been mentioned elsewhere. I guess I'm asking us to extend each other the benefit of the doubt when we question someone's comment or motive.
To ihaveoc, I'm truly sorry that you don't seem to understand the importance of the friendships on this board and how supportive the women here are. I hope that you have a ton of friends in your daily life and a lot of support to help you through your battle with this beast. If you do not, and you have the time, please give the "social" side of this board a chance. It is really uplifting to know women in the same boat, albeit at different stages. The shared wisdom and lives are really a blessing you can't afford to miss and you will be welcomed if you share in return.
I think my two year old grandson has the right idea - When things get overwhelming he says "Calm down, take a deep breath, start over." Let's start over. A group hug would be nice so I offer one to you all, Chris P
But this thread "got" me. Jan214 was one of the first people to welcome me to this board, email me, add me to her friends list, and keep in touch via email as much as her treatments have allowed her. What I like most about her is that she is direct and tells it like it is. She also has a great sense of humor and a wealth of knowledge she is fortunately willing to share. In some respects, she is one of the heartbeats of this board with ideas for us to share and keep us going, help us get to know each other better and honor each other in our common struggles.
We don't all always have the same perspective on everything, and that's okay. It is also important to remember to read things twice and ask ourselves if there is another way to interpret something we read that we might at first glance find brusque or "rude". Without seeing someone's facial expression or hearing the inflection of their voice it is easy to misinterpret a post or give it a more negative slant than was intended, as has been mentioned elsewhere. I guess I'm asking us to extend each other the benefit of the doubt when we question someone's comment or motive.
To ihaveoc, I'm truly sorry that you don't seem to understand the importance of the friendships on this board and how supportive the women here are. I hope that you have a ton of friends in your daily life and a lot of support to help you through your battle with this beast. If you do not, and you have the time, please give the "social" side of this board a chance. It is really uplifting to know women in the same boat, albeit at different stages. The shared wisdom and lives are really a blessing you can't afford to miss and you will be welcomed if you share in return.
I think my two year old grandson has the right idea - When things get overwhelming he says "Calm down, take a deep breath, start over." Let's start over. A group hug would be nice so I offer one to you all, Chris P
I must put my 2 cents in....I have been on this forum since last year..IF IF IF I did not meet these women I would have never made it through my surgery!!! THAT IS A FACT!!! We are like a FAMILY!!!! AND just like we share in each others pain it is WONDERFUL that we can share in each others happiness...This is a ovca forum BUT MORE importantly what is posted here HELPS all of us through each day . We need to laugh and smile and cry in life and we shall be able to do it here with our friends. I personally want to hear and share in whatever anyone has to say. WE offer support in all aspects here and that is what makes a true forum. I had my own helath issues nothing compared to what these women suffering with ovca have had at all but these women cared about me and never made me feel like I wasnt a part of them even knowing that I was lucky enough to have a benign condition. They understood when I needed that push ans understood when I needed their hand. So if you feel that this is not where you want to be than everyone is right go GOOGLE OVCA and find your info there. I am blessed to have found these women and I will stand by them for as long as they keep me!!! Gia :)
This thread made me angry all day yesterday. I chose to ignore it, but I see the " beat goes on". I have been monitering this forum since May 06. I have 3c recurrent cancer and am again on chemo. I have never seen your name until yesterday. Jan was the first one to help me in my struggle with this disease from this forum, and continues to do so. Who was helpful and resourceful on this forum, if it wasn't the ladies fighting this disease. You want us to come on here as sick as we are,( and yes, I am too sick to get out except to go for more chemo) and just answer questions for faceless, anonymous people all day? I'm afraid you would find 0 answers.
I agree with Brownie, you can get the latest information if you google ovarian cancer and ovca clinical trials. What you will not get is a real person that has had the chemos, the side effects, the pain, the recurrences, or a loved one with ovca.
We don't need to post pictures? They are under our profiles under a tab, courtesy of Medhelp. I enjoy sharing with the ladies that are on here. You don't, so why are you looking at ours?
All I can do is agree with Star, If you don't like this forum find another one. Have a wonderful Easter, and may God bless you, Donna
I agree with Brownie, you can get the latest information if you google ovarian cancer and ovca clinical trials. What you will not get is a real person that has had the chemos, the side effects, the pain, the recurrences, or a loved one with ovca.
We don't need to post pictures? They are under our profiles under a tab, courtesy of Medhelp. I enjoy sharing with the ladies that are on here. You don't, so why are you looking at ours?
All I can do is agree with Star, If you don't like this forum find another one. Have a wonderful Easter, and may God bless you, Donna
I definitely don't think this forum should be only for medical information. The expert forum is for that. On this forum friendship and support is important. It helps me to fight this cancer. I know there have been disagreements and even some virtual yelling, but the good far outweighs the bad here. Other forums I looked at did not meet my needs. This one does. As in the real world some people will like certain people more than others. I am thankful for everyone I have "met" here. You are all very important to me. Much love to all, Marie
My little bit here: first off I think it's kind of odd to be talking about Jan like she's not in the room. She's probably reading every word we write. The good thing is we are supporting her.
I personally never thought her original comment was all that offensive. I agree it doesn't make sense to say a lot about someone (who's passed away) you've never met - virtually or otherwise. I rarely say anything on that topic unless I've had some interaction with them, like Victoria.
The women here share other things in their life because there's more to them than cancer. There are other joys and triumphs they want to share and that's encouraging to everyone else. These women are not victims, they are more than "cancer patients."
I guess that's all I have to say. No, I'm not angry.
I personally never thought her original comment was all that offensive. I agree it doesn't make sense to say a lot about someone (who's passed away) you've never met - virtually or otherwise. I rarely say anything on that topic unless I've had some interaction with them, like Victoria.
The women here share other things in their life because there's more to them than cancer. There are other joys and triumphs they want to share and that's encouraging to everyone else. These women are not victims, they are more than "cancer patients."
I guess that's all I have to say. No, I'm not angry.
I'm very sorry for you that you feel the need to ATTACK. You must have been having a bad day. Believe it or not, Jan has those, too. I have only been a short time member of this forum (about one month) and rather than be scared away by Jan; I have been welcomed with open arms.
I have gone through pre-surgery anxiousness, surgery, post-surgery, and am still going through recovery with Jan and these other wonderful ladies. I haven't been "yelled" at yet (might be someday, but I'll get over it). The amazing thing to me is that evry person on this forum rejoiced when I told them all pathology came back benign!!!! (are you as happy for me as them?). Also, I intend to remain a member of this forum even though, according to you, I no longer belong!!
I really wish you the best ihaveoc. You sound hurt and confused. Please use the same zealousness that you have shown in attacking Jan in your own fight against ovarian cancer. I think you'll win that fight then.
Shari
I have gone through pre-surgery anxiousness, surgery, post-surgery, and am still going through recovery with Jan and these other wonderful ladies. I haven't been "yelled" at yet (might be someday, but I'll get over it). The amazing thing to me is that evry person on this forum rejoiced when I told them all pathology came back benign!!!! (are you as happy for me as them?). Also, I intend to remain a member of this forum even though, according to you, I no longer belong!!
I really wish you the best ihaveoc. You sound hurt and confused. Please use the same zealousness that you have shown in attacking Jan in your own fight against ovarian cancer. I think you'll win that fight then.
Shari
Hmmmm,
Ihaveoc, I can tell that you are the life and soul of any social gathering. Hey we need cheering up lets all go round to Ihaveoc' house......erm maybe not :D ....We have one space left at the table for our dinner party shall we invite Ihaveoc...no no please not her again she is the one who doesnt permit anyone to have any fun. If you think Jan ruffles feathers you aint met me :D Are you a JW!
There are always times people get on your nerves - even my best friend gets on my nerves sometimes because she doesnt handle things the way I see fit. Thats just part of group dynamics. To suggest that friendships are outside the scope of this forum is RIDICULOUS. I have made some of the best friends I ever had on this forum - Jan being one of them. Let me just tell you that you have NO IDEA what this women is doing to protect this forum. Suggesting that she is driving people away.....you could not be further from the truth....! I hate it when people like you come along and tell the rest of us what the forum "should be" about! Rubbish! The forum is what we have made it and extra little touches are just perfect! Does anyone remember Ravens cyberparties??
Before you attack me I am one of the older memebrs that you are talking about and seem to be speaking for!
Anna XXXX
Ihaveoc, I can tell that you are the life and soul of any social gathering. Hey we need cheering up lets all go round to Ihaveoc' house......erm maybe not :D ....We have one space left at the table for our dinner party shall we invite Ihaveoc...no no please not her again she is the one who doesnt permit anyone to have any fun. If you think Jan ruffles feathers you aint met me :D Are you a JW!
There are always times people get on your nerves - even my best friend gets on my nerves sometimes because she doesnt handle things the way I see fit. Thats just part of group dynamics. To suggest that friendships are outside the scope of this forum is RIDICULOUS. I have made some of the best friends I ever had on this forum - Jan being one of them. Let me just tell you that you have NO IDEA what this women is doing to protect this forum. Suggesting that she is driving people away.....you could not be further from the truth....! I hate it when people like you come along and tell the rest of us what the forum "should be" about! Rubbish! The forum is what we have made it and extra little touches are just perfect! Does anyone remember Ravens cyberparties??
Before you attack me I am one of the older memebrs that you are talking about and seem to be speaking for!
Anna XXXX
I'm going to agree with the majority here. This forum is a support group which entails info about ovarian cancer as well as SUPPORT (friendships) to help one another battle this disease. If you are looking for more ovca info, you should Google 'ovarian cancer' and read up on the studies and internet pages that report more stats and info vs a forum. There is nothing wrong with wishing a fellow ovca sister a happy birthday. WE are lucky to continue to celebrate a b-day. I think this forum is the best out there with a great mix of support, info, doc advice, and a large group of women who have all created a special bond. Again, Google 'ovarian cancer' and read more of the studies for info if that's all you are looking for. Deandra
I was just going to be a lurker today because I am not feeling real well, but i am sorry to say that I must agree with Marty. It sounds like that you likes this forum when you found it. So did I. It was a very valuable resource to me. But the more I posted and the longer I was here, the better I liked it. Because it is the closeness and the love and the support form everyone that makes this forum what it is. That is part of what drew me here in the first place. Just reading the questions and answeres back and forth, it was very obvious that hese women here truely cared for one another.
I would like to know what is wrong with celebrating birthdays. In my opinion each birthday that we have, is a celebration in itself. It is another year that we are here and still fighting.
And yes I have read the heading of this forum, and that is exactly what we do. For those of us with ov ca, if we have questions we usually find the answers. And for new ones asking I see as many people help that can. Not all of us are dealing with the exact same things, and it is nice to know that there is a place to turn to where others are.
Further more for those of us that have been dx, it is a long and scary road. To know that if you have a bad day, or have been sick or having bad chemo reactions, what ever, it is a nice feeling to know that so many caring people rally around and support you. Those caring posts mean so much when a person is down.
Maybe Jan does attack a few people at times, but Jan has been through more than you realize. She is a wonderful person and that is her way of watching out for others here. We are like a big family here and family takes care of its own.
Check out the other forums on this site if you doubt any of us. The ones I have checked out are all just like this. So if you are looking for nothing but the medical aspect of ov ca, then maybe marty is right and you do need to find another forum. But I am afraid that you won't like any of them, brcause most forums I have found, work in the same way. They are support groups.
I do not mean to be harsh, but this is a beautiful place and I do not want to see anyone run anyone down or try to change it one bit.
Chris
I would like to know what is wrong with celebrating birthdays. In my opinion each birthday that we have, is a celebration in itself. It is another year that we are here and still fighting.
And yes I have read the heading of this forum, and that is exactly what we do. For those of us with ov ca, if we have questions we usually find the answers. And for new ones asking I see as many people help that can. Not all of us are dealing with the exact same things, and it is nice to know that there is a place to turn to where others are.
Further more for those of us that have been dx, it is a long and scary road. To know that if you have a bad day, or have been sick or having bad chemo reactions, what ever, it is a nice feeling to know that so many caring people rally around and support you. Those caring posts mean so much when a person is down.
Maybe Jan does attack a few people at times, but Jan has been through more than you realize. She is a wonderful person and that is her way of watching out for others here. We are like a big family here and family takes care of its own.
Check out the other forums on this site if you doubt any of us. The ones I have checked out are all just like this. So if you are looking for nothing but the medical aspect of ov ca, then maybe marty is right and you do need to find another forum. But I am afraid that you won't like any of them, brcause most forums I have found, work in the same way. They are support groups.
I do not mean to be harsh, but this is a beautiful place and I do not want to see anyone run anyone down or try to change it one bit.
Chris
If you find this site undesirable I suggest you find another one. The majority of us like the way this forum is informative, friendly and documented. With such a large group of posters it seems to me to be serving the purpose it is here for. Go read the post I wrote today about the question my daughter asked me . Why I took a time out. This will show you what I and many others have gained from this forum. To learn and gain knowledge you must participate in the total meeting of minds. I stand by Jan the many others that use this forum to support in any way possible, others with OVCA. Marty
When I joined this forum, I found it very resourceful and extremely helpful in my dealing with my illness. Recently thought, it has turned into a social center, celebrating birthdays, wishing each other good luck, posting pictures, ... Do you realise that you are wasting valuable space, that if a newbie or old members want to find information, they would have to scroll through pages and pages of archives to find "CANCER' topics that apply to their situation??? We don't have time to waste and this forum has lost it's meaning. GO TO A CHATROOM TO DO YOUR SOCIALIZING or now that you can email messages throught this forum, use that option instead. It nice to check in or memorialize members here, it helps to release and shed a few tears, but please lets go back to what it was: a place to find information on Ovarian Cancer.
I don't use this forum to get to know others personally and I don't feel that this is the place to subject everyone on my personal interests eithers. I am here to LEARN about ovarian cancer.
Jan124, you have a knack for attacking people, than apologizing later. You are overprotective of some here and that is really nice, but you can't take back what you said and the feelings you have hurt, no matter how much you apologize. You have hurt many people, probably scared off a lot of newcomers and old timers, upset some of our most respected members and than you are sorry. Life doesn't work this way.
In case you have not read the heading on this page, it says " It says "Welcome to the Ovarian Cancer Forum! This forum is for questions and support regarding ovarian cancer issues, such as: Biopsy, Chemotherapy, Clinical Trials, Genetics, Hysterectomy,Immunotherapy, Ovarian Cancer Types, Radiation Therapy, Risk Factors, Screening, Staging, Surgery"
I don't use this forum to get to know others personally and I don't feel that this is the place to subject everyone on my personal interests eithers. I am here to LEARN about ovarian cancer.
Jan124, you have a knack for attacking people, than apologizing later. You are overprotective of some here and that is really nice, but you can't take back what you said and the feelings you have hurt, no matter how much you apologize. You have hurt many people, probably scared off a lot of newcomers and old timers, upset some of our most respected members and than you are sorry. Life doesn't work this way.
In case you have not read the heading on this page, it says " It says "Welcome to the Ovarian Cancer Forum! This forum is for questions and support regarding ovarian cancer issues, such as: Biopsy, Chemotherapy, Clinical Trials, Genetics, Hysterectomy,Immunotherapy, Ovarian Cancer Types, Radiation Therapy, Risk Factors, Screening, Staging, Surgery"
could be the steroids (if she is taking them)...I just learned from my cancer support group that the steroids that we are given along with chemo causes major mood swings...This explains a lot about my behavior and those of some others. On the other hand, I have noticed that...
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