need to be clarified

[lei2193]

first of all, i am so glad to have found this community.  i would have wanted to read up on the archives before asking but i guess i won't be able to finish reading up.

my mother has undergone hysterectomy june 29th. they had her uterus, ovaries, fallopian tubes, omentum & lymph nodes removed.  biopsy results says: endometrioid adenocarcinoma with clear cell changes. her ob-gyn says she has cancer of the ovary with the fallopian tubes also affected.   unfortunately, i was not with my mother when she went to her ob-gyn so i could have asked more questions and be clarified on this.  she was referred to a gyn-onco who advised 9 sessions of chemo (paclitaxel & carboplatin).  again, was not able to ask more questions because my mother was too emotional & i was more focused on consoling her that my mind went blank.  my questions:

1.  gyn-onco said, owing to "clear cell changes" my mother's cancer has a big chance of recurring even if they had taken out everything and even with the negative biopsy results on the omentum, lymph nodes, fluids, etc. what can you say about this?
2.  my mother refuses to undergo chemo saying she's old (65), that all this would be for naught, etc.  should we respect her decision even if i am very much against it, even if i know it will be a really big financial drain on us.
3.  gyn-onco said we have to start chemo 3-4 weeks after surgery.  if we exceeded the 4 week mark, owing to my mom's refusal to have chemo, what will be the effect?  

i know i have more questions but it has escaped me at the moment.  i am so emotionally drained trying to put up a brave front for my mom, giving her pep talks to uplift her moods, convincing her to have chemo & dealing with my own fears.  i'm rambling, so sorry.

[lei2193]

Thanks for sharing, dawnedoodles.  It's nice to know that you have responded well w/ the treatment.

Her gyn-onco lent her a book on OVCA for her to read but she shuns reading infos on OVCA & chemo, says it frightens her more.  She also does not want to talk about her condition.  I guess i have mostly read on the scientific side of OVCA maybe I should also read up on how to deal emotionally with cancer.  Would you have any suggestions on good books or websites?

[dawnedoodles]

I have had the carbo/taxol treatment 2 times with 9 treatments each.  My OVCA has responded very well to the treatment.  I did have nausea and felt like I had the "flu" for about 5 days after treatment.  My last round they had to reduce by 30% for the last couple of treatments due to the side effects.  I wish your mom the very best and hope she has no side effects.  She is very young to give up so I hope she does go forward with her chemo.  I wish her the very best and will pray for her to have great results.  God bless you.

[lei2193]

Thank you for your insight & it is well-taken.  

[shewrites]

I'm glad she's going to go ahead, and I wish your mom well.  

Please be careful how you think about this.  "We" are not going to have chemo.   "She" is going to have chemo.  You cannot take ownership of this process.  Yes, you can be supportive, and you should be supportive.  But she has to do this, basically on her own.  And she must feel that she's in charge.  The cancer has taken some of her independence away, and you should be careful not to take more away, even unintentionally.  Listen to her and, as much as possible, do as she asks.  

I don't mean to sound harsh, but I've been in you mom's shoes, and I still have some sensitivies on this point.  

[lei2193]

Pam & Karen, thank you so much.  

We were able to convince her to go on w/ the chemo and we'll be having it on the 30th, I'm hoping she will not change her mind again.

Karen, did your mom also have clear cell ovca?  


Leah

[Searching48507]

My mom was 72 and was treated with Carbo/Taxol for her chemo.  She tolerated the chemo very well.  With all the preventative medicines to deal with the side effects, she didn't have any of what one might envision with chemo.  She wasn't vomitting or those types of side effects.  She did have some constipation, but that was also treated.  I would strongly encourage your mom to discuss her fears with the doctors.  While the chemo didn't work on my mom's type of ovarian cancer cells, she gave it the shot.

Karen

[nyc lady]

Clear cell OvCa, is not known to respond to chemo very well....but, doesn't mean that it won't for her.  I have not undergone chemo, but, hear that it is very doable, and know of women much older than your mother that have done very well on chemo.  If it were my mom, I would do everything possible to convince her to give the chemo a chance.  Maybe it won't cure her, but, it could buy years of a good quaility of life.  
Can you call and speak with her doctor to have some of your questions answered?  There will be additonal visits, write your questions down so when you are there,  you don't have to think, you will have it written down.
Lastly, whether we agree or not, it is your mom's decison....and if it truly is her choice, then somehow you need to figure out a way to support her.
Best of luck...and keep coming back and asking questions, maybe you can even get your mom to join.
Pam