When I was six months old I was severely bitten in the face by the family dog. It took twenty six stitches to patch my face up from across the lip to my nose.
I'm twenty eight years old now and obviously I don't remember this incident because I was too young at the time, but I've always felt like there's something wrong with me mentally. I feel like a complete outsider observing the world through the looking glass. I often feel anxious around people. I have over active dreams at night which leave me exhausted during the day even though I've had a full night's sleep, and I'm often depressed regardless of the fact that I had a great upbringing and a family history of no mental illness.
I've never discussed this with anyone, but I was wondering if a traumatic experience such as mine, one that I can't even remember, could be responsible for my depression, anxiety, and exhaustion on a subconscious level. If not, is there any other explanation?
It is undeniable to me that I feel most comfortable and relieved when I am in my own company (mentally and physically), yet I know this is not something people would regard as normal. I'm tired of wondering what's wrong with me. Any suggestions or information would be appreciated.
What I'd suggest is getting some attention from a therapist in the mental health field. I am not a doctor, so anything I say is merely an opinion. But it would seem to me that the dog bite incident would not be an issue at this point in time, unless you are slightly disfigured (scar's) and are self conscious about that.
I do know from my own experiences regarding depression and anxiety that almost anything can cause either one of the illnesses. (What may seem like a big deal to me might be nothing in comparison to what you're going through.) It is perception. It is very real, and for whatever reason, whatever is eating away at you is doing just that.
Seek help from a mental health professional..... it is worth it.
I don't see any reason for you to have PTSD, but there is a possibility of you having some sort of sleeping disorder, perhaps Sleep Apnea or perhaps you just sleep too lightly.
OR, you could have depression or an anxiety disorder that could in turn affect the way you sleep, I don't know if you take any drugs, or perscribed medicine, these may affect how you sleep too.
So my suggestion is that either your sleep is affecting your mood... Or your mood is affecting you sleep!
The solution; a visit to a doctor, therapist or sleep clinic.
I would look more into dissociative disorders as a root cause of anxiety and depression rather than PTSD. You may have further traumatic instances in your early childhood other than that one thing that you separated off from yourself thus making you feel like an outsider. I have dissociative identity disorder. Even though u have some of the signs does not mean u have the same as me but it's possible u have a different type. But I am not a doctor so I cannot tell you what u do or don't have. Just something to look into. A lot of people with traumatic childhoods don't remember they did until these kinds of disorders start getting in the way of their life. But just know if that is the case, it was a gift. Without that tool you might not of ever made it to today. And it may be a long hard road to healing but it does get better. Every road to success is always under construction. Hope this was helpful and didn't scare you at all. Because it's nothing to be scared about, the danger is long gone and you have control over your life.
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