Could this be PTS??

[mrsheatherlodder]

Hi. I have been sick with the same thing for the last 5 years and frankly, I am exhausted and so upset.

I am 23 years old, female and have left an abusive relationship in June. So I can understand if I develloped depression.

It all started in 2006 Christmas Day, a month after being engaged. I started getting dizzy, sad, confused why I no longer could feel any feelings for my fiancee and tried numerous times to break up with him in one weekend. He manipulated me into staying and eventually pregnated me.

I also felt, that day, like a fog covered my eyes, my ears and my brain. This was and still is the worst thing ever. I could not make sense of anything and my ears rushed and clicked a lot.

Long story short, I developed depression symptoms in time and had anxiety attacks. Until I left my husband. Then the attacks stopped and I stopped ocd'ing a lot. Not entirely but a lot. Mind you, he had abused me for 4 years before everything hit me on Christmas Day so it may have been slow in developing.

I saw tons of doctors and had every test imaginable and they all came back negative (I was fine that is ) BUT every doctor prescribed depression meds to me AND said that my left ear looks pulled from a sinus infection and that it is red but it's not a big deal.

I used to have realllly bad ear infections as a kid.

I also have a small learning disability and depression runs in my family.

I also suffer from restless legs as stress in this but when I am less stressed they are fine.

My fog has been 24/7.

ENT's said I was fine and should see a neurologist.

Lately, since a bad cold, my left ear started rushing even more (after FINALLY stopping for months now....not the fog just the rushing of the ear...it gets sooo bad when I am stressed) and clicking every 10 seconds and it is starting to get painful.

I think it's an ear infection like my son has with his cold and I am getting it checked out.

BUT I am also going through grieving my abusive husband with our separation, his attempted suicide, numerous no contact breaches and court procedures.

So if depression causes ear problems I would be happy to know that because then it would make sense why I am feeeling worse lately. I hate not knowing what it is.

Could being choked cause long term effects like this?

With the symptoms I described....what tests should I take?

What could it likely be?

Please help me. I have full custody of my two beautiful babues and need to be well for them but I am soo sick of this ...literally.

Thanks in advance:)

Heather

[mrsheatherlodder]

Hi margypops!!! I have good news!!!! Great news, even!!! I found out what I may possibly have!! I may have what is called "Depersonalization Disorder"...due to the abuse I suffered. It's treatable with time and counselling and being out of the situation..which I have been for almost a year now. I will let you know if the diagnosis is true when I know more:D Thanks again and I am sorry it took me so long to respond...busy here!!

[margypops]

I do think that you could have some PTSD I  know that physical symptoms can appear after any trauma . You sound very upbeat about your life and children ,thats a good thing, Positive thoughts and feelings can help us throught the toughest ordeals .Maybe you are lonely and could use some company how about checking out what other Moms do in the area you live, join something for yourself, we are apt to forget that we also have a life, when our children are young, and whilst its great to spend a lot of time with them some quality  going out time is good for Mom aswell. Good Luck you sound like a winner....

[mrsheatherlodder]

Hi Margypops:) Thanks so much for your kind post!! I am in counselling once a week and I love my counsellor! It is going well. Well but slow. But in time, right? Yep I catch everything my babies catch and vice versa...yikers! I constantly keep my doctor updated and he knows of what I went through and am going through. He is great! On Thursday I am seeing a pyschiatrist for my depression and anxiety and am sooo excited and hope he can help me!! My family is sooo amazing!! I would be lost without them! My Mother helps me with the kids pretty much every day and she is a God-send to me and the kids! I have a lot of help around here and am pretty happy except for this stupid fog and not knowing for sure what it is, you know? Thanks again:)

Heather

[margypops]

I am sorry you are having such a hard time and I do feel that if you were to get some counselling it will be a help, it does sound like an ear infection and with 2 small children they do get sick  ,then you get it.Speak to your Doctor it maybe you have anxiety about any abuse you suffered and now you are trying to make a new life for you and your children ,you have to be strong not easy I know , have you other family around to help with the children ?