Alright. So medication is like any other drug- if you are scared you are going to have a bad trip. My whole family is dependent on behavioral medications for severe disorders and I have childhood ptsd, anxiety, and seasonal depression- all pretty tame. They started me on meds when I was about 12. For years I tried different meds but I unded up having bad reactions, mainly because I didn't want to be on them in the first place. I saw my crazy family NEED them and I couldn't handle being like them so much that it gave me anxiety taking the darn things. Zoloft actually made me severely depressed. But maybe it won't be like that for you. I've been medication free, even with infertility depression, for over 10 years. I stopped having such strong episodes, started going outside more, and decided to simply not give two hoots if people thought I was crazy. I share my horror stories, insane thoughts, insecurities and even my infertility pain with pretty much every one. I have been SO much better when I stopped trying to hide my pain. I haven't had a single suicide attempt or plan since. I haven't brokwn down for two years when someone tries to "scare" me for fun. Panic attacks are still a minor thing but only for major parties mainly. But once I share that I am terrified, they go away like magic. Maybe it's my hubby or my commitment to getting through it. Just saying. Hope it helps to know you aren't alone.
I take Zoloft for anxiety good stuff but everyone responds differently :)