So I'm a 15 year old teenage girl and january 6th of this year, my dad accidently ran over my leg with his car. Ever since then I've been extremely afraid of crossing the road, hearing a car but not being able to see it, walking infront of a car that is turned on, and learning how to drive. I get really scared in the situations I have mentioned. I used to be a little scared to ride in the car with my dad before because he gets distracted easily. I'm shaking even writing this because I keep thinking about all that happened. So next year, in march, I will be going to driver's ed. I don't want to learn to drive because of my huge fear, but I do want to because it means that I can be free to go where and when I please. I also promised my cousin's daughter to take her shopping when I get my lisence :$ I'm not too sure of what to do. I don't want my parents to know simply because I don't want my dad to feel any worse than he already does. Thanks in advance to anyone who bothers to even read this :) (yes I also posted this in the Phobia section)
If something bad happens to you, it is completely normally to not want to put yourself in the same situation. If you're bit by a dog, you might become apprehensive about being around dogs. That fear you have is you body warning you basically. You need to teach your body the warning it is giving you (fear) is not needed. You have to reprogram your brain to stop having that reaction. Therapy would suffice. However, being that you are 15 your parent's consent would be needed. I had a similar "phobia" as a teenager. Which consequently caused me not drive until I was 18.
There are things you can work on by yourself. Maybe standing on a sidewalk, in a safe area, as cars pass for 1 minute a day. After that seems ok, try doing it for longer and longer. Maybe then going to an area where there isn't much traffic and you can clearly see all areas where any cars could come from. Also, preferably where there is a crosswalk. Get comfortable with that area. Eventually work up the nerve to cross the street.
Find little exercises you can do. I also suggest speaking to your guidance counselor at school. Being that you aren't harming yourself or others they should keep if confidential.
Thanks for the advice. I will definatly try that. It's been almost 9 months, and i still go to bed every night thinking about what happened, and how bed it could've ended. I always end up curled in a ball. Thanks a lot for your advice though. That exersise make me cringe, but I know that it will help :)
If I were your Dad, I'd feel horrible about the accident, but if I found out later you had suffered in silence I would feel really bad you weren't comfortable telling me. Obviously, I don't know what kind of relationship you have with him, but I would tell him about your fears and explain that you don't want to make him feel worse, but that you need some professional help dealing with them. This gives him the chance to do something for you and might actually make him feel better! He might need some counseling, too.
I suffered a trauma and anything that was remotely connected caused fear. I went to a counselor who treated PTSD and it helped tremendously. One key is to accept that your reaction is a normal response to trauma. That was a horrible, traumatic event you experienced and it has been imprinted firmly into your body and mind. Your body is telling your head, "Don't let that happen to me again!" One trick I learned is when the fear rises up, I start taking deep breaths and tell myself, "It's over. It's over. It won't happen again. Ever. It's over." Almost like soothing yourself like you would a baby.
Keep posting. Let us know how you are doing.
Thank you so much. I never though of it that way. I will tell him, but him and my mom are going through some rough times (which they keep pulling me into), so I don't think I should now. I thought I was all alone today. Everyone having fun, and I'm the one wanting to go into the dark basement and shut everyone out. Thanks again for being there for me today. You helped me out a ton :)
Good to hear from you on here, glad you are being brave & speaking out on this post.
I have had Complex-PTSD since i was a teenager (multiple trauma's) so i really do know what its like & i feel for you.
Although sadly no one diagnosed me & i didn't even have name for my symptoms until about 4 years ago when i went back to college & studied Health Science.
But started seeing a really cool psychologist who has helped me a lot, & sometimes it been really hard & other times it has been really fun & rewarding & i have learnt lots about myself & how my mind & body works.
I really wish i had received help a lot sooner as i suffered in silence for too long.
So please my advise to you is to find a calm moment & sit your parents down & talk to them about your situation as soon as possible (either individually or together)...tell them you didn't want to trouble them but tell them flash backs & anxiety is getting worse.. just tell them how you are feeling & that your pretty concerned & that you feel you really need some assistance.
It might even just help them take the attention off themselves & their problems with each other for bit :)
You really need to stand up & be counted & ask for some advise & assistance & soon as possible. Always put your health first!
Please promise me you wont let this simmer anymore & that you wont isolate yourself too much, as you don't want it to turn into depression.
Find a Psychologist / Counsellor that does EDMR
(which stands for 'Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing Therapy') Find someone that you feel comfortable with & that has a warm friendly vibe.
Its a very simple, easy, process that will greatly assist you to reduce all those intense feelings & flashbacks...you will be so glad you did :)
Thanks :) I will try to talk to my parents soon. I feel like telling my friends first though, but I don't really know how to start, I mean they are having serious problems of their owns. Hanging out with them makes me forget everything instantly, and I just have fun. Thanks to everyone for their advice.
I waited over 20 years to tell my dad about when I was attacked as a teen. During those years he treated me like I was "emotionally fragile" (or, a freak) that would fly off the handle "for no good reason". I told him this year. I wish I had done it much sooner, but I was afraid of his anger back then. He wished he had known. People need each other, and if you have people who care, you are lucky and should reach out.
But I did tell friends first, practiced, got used to how it would feel to talk about it. But I asked a friend to meet me privately, to help get something off my chest, not a casual situation where I would be afraid of being the downer.
I'm getting ready to share my own story here soon, so we can all help each other as well. :) Good luck.
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