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HOW DO I HELP HIM!!?
My Hubby to be was in the special forces in '02ish and was medically discharged after he was hurt by an insurgent in the war i think he is still suffering from PTSD and he refuses to do anything about it. He can't sleep and he has Shingles which cause him severe pain and he get so upset about the tiniest things he doesn't smile much and and his blood pressure is crazy! what can i do to help him with out him knowing that i am?
The sooner treatment starts the sooner he can get a handel on his moods/behavior. PTSD and Major Depressivie Disorder go hand in hand, it sounds like there is some anger/depression going on.
I am a Vietnam veteran and have been suffering with the disorder for forty years. Pre-treatment is the worse.
To any change there is resistence and I know that I was totally against treatment but once you begin and start to understand it opens the doors. There is hope and a future living with this disorder.
I am a Vietnam veteran and have been suffering with the disorder for forty years. Pre-treatment is the worse.
To any change there is resistence and I know that I was totally against treatment but once you begin and start to understand it opens the doors. There is hope and a future living with this disorder.
I believe that since there is no violence in the home, you've got a lot going for you.
As I mentioned not so clearly above, it is hard for a lot of men to admit that there is a problem. The mind blocks the problem off, and otheriwse addressing the problem is seen as a threat.
For me, once I began to address the problem, I couldn't quit addressing the problem. I had it all bottled up for so long, thatonce it started, it just poured out of me.
One thing that is kind of interesting about all of this stuff is what can trouble one person and be a non-issue for another. Obviously your husband has seen numerous atrocities haveing been in the theater of war, so what he is going through is understandable... but some of his peers might not have an issue with that at all. The mind is a very difficult, very complex thing.
The thing to know is, there is help there and patience is a key to getting your husband the help he needs. Be there for him....
As I mentioned not so clearly above, it is hard for a lot of men to admit that there is a problem. The mind blocks the problem off, and otheriwse addressing the problem is seen as a threat.
For me, once I began to address the problem, I couldn't quit addressing the problem. I had it all bottled up for so long, thatonce it started, it just poured out of me.
One thing that is kind of interesting about all of this stuff is what can trouble one person and be a non-issue for another. Obviously your husband has seen numerous atrocities haveing been in the theater of war, so what he is going through is understandable... but some of his peers might not have an issue with that at all. The mind is a very difficult, very complex thing.
The thing to know is, there is help there and patience is a key to getting your husband the help he needs. Be there for him....
Thank you you and your husband have been very help full and just so you know there is no violence in our household! thank you so much for your concern! i will let you know how things fo if you like if not that fine too! and again thank you so much
GroovyDeeDee is my wife and a truly wonderful and strong woman. (I also find her attractive and funny.) But she is right. My depression which has basically controlled the bigger portion of my life did put a dent in her self esteem and undeniably will have some kind of lasting impression with my kids.
I am telling you. When I was on, I was on! Totally fun, life of the party and seemingly enjoying life. But when I was off, not even my best friend, my wife could help me out. It was foolish and selfish to not address my problems earlier.
Kind of like an alcoholic denies he has a problem, so did I. And if I did have a problem, it was for me to figure out. I saw "getting help" as the biggest weakness of all weaknesses. In reality, not getting help is the weakness. (I am damned lucky to have the wife and kids I have, and I'll never forget that. Anyone else would have left.)
This is hard to do and hard to work through, but once the ice is broken it becomes far easier. The gains are baby steps, and there are some side steps. But all of it is progress. Anything addressed is in the rearview mirror. As Dee Dee mentioned, have your husband read these posts. Heck, you can hve him address me directly if you wish.
I am telling you. When I was on, I was on! Totally fun, life of the party and seemingly enjoying life. But when I was off, not even my best friend, my wife could help me out. It was foolish and selfish to not address my problems earlier.
Kind of like an alcoholic denies he has a problem, so did I. And if I did have a problem, it was for me to figure out. I saw "getting help" as the biggest weakness of all weaknesses. In reality, not getting help is the weakness. (I am damned lucky to have the wife and kids I have, and I'll never forget that. Anyone else would have left.)
This is hard to do and hard to work through, but once the ice is broken it becomes far easier. The gains are baby steps, and there are some side steps. But all of it is progress. Anything addressed is in the rearview mirror. As Dee Dee mentioned, have your husband read these posts. Heck, you can hve him address me directly if you wish.
Hang in there, girl. I am Brice's wife, and Brice was also reluctant to "hear" me when I would give him encouragement, and often if I said "I hope you'll feel better soon, I love you." He would reply with "I ain't buying it."
It is essential that he gets help. Brice can tell you the roads his problems led him down. His refusal to get help led to situations that caused a deepening of my depression, a total loss of my already compromised self esteem and some issues for our kids that will be with them for life. (And a PTSD diagnosis for ME as well.)
Have him read our posts. Let him know, at a neutral time when he's not in the throes of his disease, that he means so much to you, and you want him healthy.
Good Luck!
It is essential that he gets help. Brice can tell you the roads his problems led him down. His refusal to get help led to situations that caused a deepening of my depression, a total loss of my already compromised self esteem and some issues for our kids that will be with them for life. (And a PTSD diagnosis for ME as well.)
Have him read our posts. Let him know, at a neutral time when he's not in the throes of his disease, that he means so much to you, and you want him healthy.
Good Luck!
Is it safe to assume that there is no violence in the home? If that is the case, you can be a little sneaky and perhaps still get the message across. A doctors office or clinic of some sorts will have pamphlets or other propaganda pertaining to issues like your husband is going through.
Most importantly, I think it is critical that you let your husband know that you are there.... you are in it for the long haul. I think sooner or later, he will come to terms with the fact that he has some issues that need tending too. One of the worst things about the military is, they can take anyone and make them gung-ho.... what they haven't figured out is how to turn that stuff off. That is real sad....
Pick some of these up and leave them lying around. Get a book or two from the library. Leave them around, but make sure that you are reading them. Learn as much about his issues or what he says he's going through. After a while, slightly suggest that you guys both go see a counselor. You can tell him the the problem is yours... you are having a hard time dealing with all of this and you need his support. Maybe by switching the tables, he'll be less reluctant.
Whatever works, ya know?
Most importantly, I think it is critical that you let your husband know that you are there.... you are in it for the long haul. I think sooner or later, he will come to terms with the fact that he has some issues that need tending too. One of the worst things about the military is, they can take anyone and make them gung-ho.... what they haven't figured out is how to turn that stuff off. That is real sad....
Pick some of these up and leave them lying around. Get a book or two from the library. Leave them around, but make sure that you are reading them. Learn as much about his issues or what he says he's going through. After a while, slightly suggest that you guys both go see a counselor. You can tell him the the problem is yours... you are having a hard time dealing with all of this and you need his support. Maybe by switching the tables, he'll be less reluctant.
Whatever works, ya know?
thank you i'm just afraid that he won't get help and i already know that he doesn't see that there is anything wrong with him but i'm not the only one that sees it
sometimes PTSD can have lasting results i've had it since '94 and it is still with me as if it happened yesterday. i am not sure what you can do behind his back to help it is a long recovery. when i came back to the states all i wanted to do was get drunk all the time cuz i could not cope with flashbacks and nightmares and things that reminded me of the trauma i suffered i got upset alot and my family did not know how to deal with it either best thing you could do is give him space :)
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I'm a guy, so I can speak from experience. We're stupid. We got this big old ego that thinks talking about this stuff is sissy and that we should be able to handle this stuff on our own. We think that anything that comes out way, we'll kick its butt and that'll be the end of it. Turns out.... that ain't the way it goes.
I think you helping him and being by his side is the way to go. For me, being alone and me having my 'space" was the worst thing in the world. Having "my space" allowed me to sit and stew in my own thoughts.... it made me angry, it made me sad, and eventually made me clinically depressed. I was diagnosed as clinically depressed 14 years before I actually went and talked to a mental health professional.
I wasted 14 years of my life, my wife's life, and basically the lives of my children...simply because I was too hard headed to go get help. Ridiculous.... I pushed my bull-headedness aside, got all of the garbage that had been bothering me out in the open and am now a new guy. It took too long, and even a worst case scenario to get help. Fortunately enough, my wife and kids were strong enough and had enough faith in me to stick around. I am truly thankful, but I cannot replace the 14 years of garbage I stuck them with, because I was too "proud" to get help.