Aa
I need some help here!
ok, so I have had bad anxiety episodes in the past which I fully healed from.. meaning I didn't live my life in fear. I am now going through another episode which is a lot longer and proves to be more severe. I should note that the other 2 times I had a nervous breakdown both lasted 3 months and I thought I was dying and or going insane. This time has lasted for a year now and I begin to get better, then have additional episodes that bring me closer to hopelessness. I know what I have is serious, but it is similar to what I cured from in the past, and I believe I can heal again. But...
The following is my episodal experiaence that I just had last night: I have been very interested in this young woman who works at a store, but am insecure, and she makes me question myself so much, encourges me to be happy, and have a reason to be well! And I have only interacted with her twice. Well lastnight was the third time and I wasn't feeling well, but needed gas, and she was working, and I did everything but continue the momentum of the interest I showed in her or she showed in me. I should have not gone there, and I should have been more secure with myself and nice with her, but instead it was even awkward.. I went in, and anxiously left!
This messed with my head when I got home and my emotional reaction was sooo bad! I began to feel sensation all throughout my body and my mind was exteremly unrelaxed and more tense then usual. I know that it was reactional, and there was reason why I had this reaction, but I blew it way out of proportion, or did I, and felt so horribly with myself that I didn't keep my optimistic momentum with this sweetheart!! I couldnt get my mind off how stupid I was and this led into that extreme emotional response of feeling really unrelaxed and tense, and hopeless, and feeling like I was losing control of myself, my mind, literally!! I know this may sound like a panick attack, but I am afraid it was more like a psychotic episode, because it lasted all night (though I did sleep ok, but woke a a few times, and I did feel a lot better in the morning, as if I was resolving it in my sleep and letting it go), but it is still bothering me the next day, as have my previous nervous breakdowns in the past.. see they last for months, and mess with my entire world!!
My question is I am wondering How I can tell the difference between an incurable mental illness, and a curable one. For example, how can I know if my emotional illness that I have been struggling with off and on for years now, is anxiety and depression, or if it is a more serious mental illness like schitsophrenia. Doctors give me mixed messages but don't think I have schitsophrenia, while one said I have a only treatable mental illness, the rest tell me it's anxiety. I know it is serious, but I cured from something like this in the past. But this is lasting now a year so far and in ways I am entrenched in my illness, in other ways I believe I can get better, and almost felt that I was getting better. But that extreme stress response that I had is still affecting me, as that is what it does. Can anxiety attack last for days and even a month and make you feel like you are losing control, of your self and mind?
Or does it sound like I have a more serious , perhaps uncurable mental illness? I still believe that existence is fair and good, and that it is my own delusions that is causing me all this suffering. But I feel like I almost lost it last night, and it is contuning to concern me!!
Sorry it is so long, but otherwise I wouldn't have explained myself. If you think you have some advise or could help me please let me know! Thank you!!
The following is my episodal experiaence that I just had last night: I have been very interested in this young woman who works at a store, but am insecure, and she makes me question myself so much, encourges me to be happy, and have a reason to be well! And I have only interacted with her twice. Well lastnight was the third time and I wasn't feeling well, but needed gas, and she was working, and I did everything but continue the momentum of the interest I showed in her or she showed in me. I should have not gone there, and I should have been more secure with myself and nice with her, but instead it was even awkward.. I went in, and anxiously left!
This messed with my head when I got home and my emotional reaction was sooo bad! I began to feel sensation all throughout my body and my mind was exteremly unrelaxed and more tense then usual. I know that it was reactional, and there was reason why I had this reaction, but I blew it way out of proportion, or did I, and felt so horribly with myself that I didn't keep my optimistic momentum with this sweetheart!! I couldnt get my mind off how stupid I was and this led into that extreme emotional response of feeling really unrelaxed and tense, and hopeless, and feeling like I was losing control of myself, my mind, literally!! I know this may sound like a panick attack, but I am afraid it was more like a psychotic episode, because it lasted all night (though I did sleep ok, but woke a a few times, and I did feel a lot better in the morning, as if I was resolving it in my sleep and letting it go), but it is still bothering me the next day, as have my previous nervous breakdowns in the past.. see they last for months, and mess with my entire world!!
My question is I am wondering How I can tell the difference between an incurable mental illness, and a curable one. For example, how can I know if my emotional illness that I have been struggling with off and on for years now, is anxiety and depression, or if it is a more serious mental illness like schitsophrenia. Doctors give me mixed messages but don't think I have schitsophrenia, while one said I have a only treatable mental illness, the rest tell me it's anxiety. I know it is serious, but I cured from something like this in the past. But this is lasting now a year so far and in ways I am entrenched in my illness, in other ways I believe I can get better, and almost felt that I was getting better. But that extreme stress response that I had is still affecting me, as that is what it does. Can anxiety attack last for days and even a month and make you feel like you are losing control, of your self and mind?
Or does it sound like I have a more serious , perhaps uncurable mental illness? I still believe that existence is fair and good, and that it is my own delusions that is causing me all this suffering. But I feel like I almost lost it last night, and it is contuning to concern me!!
Sorry it is so long, but otherwise I wouldn't have explained myself. If you think you have some advise or could help me please let me know! Thank you!!
This is a very insightful and very helpful response, margypops! Thank you so much for your insight, you know, I believe it is true.. everything you said reflects my reality. I really like the quote from that guy! I believe it is so true for my case, and perhaps everyones. Thank you soo much and take care
When you say the Doctor would this be a pyschiatrist,and are you on any meds ...sometimes side effects can cause anxiety.May I venture to say that thinking or over thinking can make us feel bad, I read this a while ago and found it to be very true,its in a book called 'Slowing down to the Speed of life ' by Richard Carlson.....he says ..about thinking .'.Its impossible to experience any negative feeling without first creating a corresponding negative thought.The truth is,our thinking will always create the reality we perceive '. I realised he was right and determined when I started to over think about something negative ,I would get into the habit of dismissing it, distracting myself,switching my thoughts to something positive .After some hits and misses it did become a habit and years later I still do it if I find myself anxious about anything .Only your Doctor can tell you if you have a mental illness,I would think that the way you have been able to feel good for periods of time is a' good 'sign and it is anxiety ,the fact you slept okay is good, from your description of how you felt I would say you wound yourself up into an anxious state by thinking too much ...good luck
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