Multiple Mental Stress for Father after birth of my child

[Fatherhelpless]

This happened in 1989, but I feel that it wasnt treated or handled appropriately at the time. We had our third child, a boy, after two girls, in 1989.     This was and is in the UK.    When the baby was about four weeks old the midwife came on a home visit. She detected indications of post natal psychosis. I was in the house at the time but I was told nothing. The midwife phoned for our Doctor to come to the house immediately.  He came within an hour, I repeat that neither of them told me anything.          My wife was not admitted to hospital but was given an urgent appointment with a psychiatrist.      We were not  seen together at any time, No one sat down with both of us and went through the diagnosis, and no advice nor support was offered to the family. I made an appointment to see the psychiatrist myself, to try and find out what was happening. I do not understand why he did not suggest that my wife and I saw him together.          I cannot remember him giving me any real advice, nor giving me a referral to social services. My impression now, given that I now realise that my wife had a life threatening condition, both for the baby and herself. I feel that he was trying to seek information from me rather than give me any information or support.         My wifes diagnosis later was changed or became manic-depression.    She has remained ill ever since.     I feel that if I had been included in the treatment plan, we both could have helped each other to recover.     I think that I have got PTSD which has not been diagnosed nor treated, despite me asking for help.

[AnnaE]

I learned about the problems in the UK, from eye patients on the eye form. In this case, however, I was so caught up in his story, that I forgot to apply the UK factors. We have many problems here, but the system in UK and Canada are so much more difficult, overall, for patients.

[margypops]

In the UK most people even today, are told to have a stiff upper lip' and bear it .a lot of folk that need some help wont ask for it , therapy is differant than here you can get it but its not as welcome and can be seen as a stigma , especially by other family members, even to this day as a born English woman I would struggle myself rather than ask for help,however in my years as a US citizen, I have learned to be able to ask more.than I did when I lived there.

[AnnaE]

I apologize that I did not realize your limitations regarding help in the UK.

[AnnaE]

It sounds like neither of you were helped. Is your wife in treatment, or on medication?

As for you, I can certainly understand that you were traumatized. The psychiatrist should have realized that you needed information, assistance and support, even treatment.

I was traumatized by a surgeon who bullied me and would give me no information on my condition, during a long treatment.

Yes, you should see a mental health expert now. If your doctor is in touch with this, you can start by talking to him. If your doctor does not make the right referral, or if you have the same doctor who did not help before, you can start by seeing psychiatrists who can lead you to the right mental health professional.

Please write back if you need support or information.

[margypops]

Have you seen your Doctor recently and told him the same thing you have here ,perhaps you have to demand to speak to a professional who understands  PTSD ,what kind of help have you asked for, it sounds as if hey didnt handle it too well at that time but it is 19years later and if you are still suffering from the affects of this Trauma you need some help, I would suggest you speak to your Doctor for advice on what help you can get now,