i feel like i am running a new life, like the biginning of the end type deal. everything was great, had everything i wanted, n everything falls apart, n i cant get the good memories out of my head, n the great memories i had haunt me in my dreams, n threw the day, icant get them out of my head. its like one day i woke up from a dream n i almost dnt know what the *** im doin here. i take sleepin pills cuz i cant bare to be awake with all the memories i have that were so great n thats all i have left n they wont leave me alone. wake up cryin cuz i cant get threw the day knowin what i dont have anymore and its verry compulsive. i cant control it, its there, n they wont go away. n its like evryday i lose more and more inside of me cuz these memories are fukin with me. flashbacks on good times with what i had, n its suckin the life outta me. get through the day is hard, but when i go to sleep, waking up is the hardest part, cuz its like my life was a dream. i dnt know what the deal is, i have strong anxiety when i look at certain things that remind me of certain things of what i had. i feel like i lose my breathe, or i cant breathe for a second and i get a flash of what its reminding me of.
You know what I see, I see someone who can right their thoughts down fluently , even beautifully, you are not loosing more you are gaining ground in being able to come here and write these things to help others.you have a lot of pain , being able to epress it to others who may or may not understand is part of healing write more to us , we like the way it flows..
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