Overcoming

[schizofriendia]

So yeah, I thought I was over my PTSD for the most part since the flashbacks haven't happened for over 6 months, but just now I was trying to tell someone about what caused my PTSD and I paused for a while before sending the message due to apprehension and halfway through writing it apparently I had started writing it in present tense rather than the past tense I started with, which I think is a sign of something or other.  Also after I sent the message I felt distraught like it had happened again.  I feel like I can't even talk about it through instant messaging services to people to be honest, let alone in real life.  Am I ever going to totally overcome my PTSD?

[MYoungAtHeart]

I still think about the incident which caused the PTSD nearly every day.  But somedays I try to go deeper into the distress to see what else is there among the baggage.  I think about what I was like before I learned that People sometimes hurt other people and I was actually pretty normal for a kid....Where did that normalcy go in such a short instant, and I wonder a lot if I can resurrect a tiny piece of innocence that has not been smothered by the stain of mental illness.....I often times think that I am a woman with 3 different lives in one vessel.  The child I was who is still alive way inside here, the child who was hurt and the woman who is affected by the child and the hurt child.  I don't feel doomed.....I hope you can find some peace in this and your world.....

[drifter0213]

i agree this does not ever go away

[schizofriendia]

OK thanks for your feedback.  I guess I'm doomed to have it my whole life, just need to find coping strategies for it.

[MYoungAtHeart]

Hey there, just wanted to stop by and tell you that
aftering having PTSD for so many years, I can never
really be sure it will go away for good.  What does change
though, is the severity of the flashback, and the more I
work on myself and my interactions with my family, the
less I feel totally lost when a flashback does occur.
I no longer suffer in silence and can get back to a
healthier life style quicker now then when I first started
down this road and there were only two entities on it.
Me and the PTSD.....

[granolagoddess]

I have had a really hard life. Whenever I am abandoned and hurt, it all comes back again. My wife left me (am also female) 3 years ago bad I am having bad dreams about my ex again this week. Really detailed abadonment dreams. I don't think I will ever get over it, and if I am ever in another relationship, I may feel better unless and until I am abandoned again. It is not a break-up that does this, but the other person leaving me, as opposed to me leaving them. I have broken up with everyone i was ever with until my wife of 11 years left me, and my life was destroyed. I also feel that way with ruined friendships. I know it's not easy for people to be my friend, because I am erratic emotionally, especially now since my wife left me. But it started up before the break-up, because things in my life were in upheaval. I might have even really caused the breakup by my ****** behavior. But my ex was not nice, so it was a vicious cycle.

[schizofriendia]

Yeah it would be great if people didn't have to go through things like that.  Thanks for your reply drifter, it gives me an idea of what the course of this disorder is going to follow.

[drifter0213]

this happened to me the other day i started to think about the helicopters and wire fences and cs gas in the air, people screaming and yelling disorientation, dehydration, sweaty palms, rain showers, thoughts of the jungle. i'll never be the same :(