PTSD Effecting Relationship

[Cpl_usmc]

I have been diagnosed with PTSD from Iraq, but most recently my last deployment to Afgahnistan. I am very concerned because it was only effecting my work but is now effecting my personal relationship with my fiance. Our sex life is amazing but sometimes she wants to know more about what is going on inside my head. I wake up in the middle of the night sometimes in cold sweats and have dreams of unthinkable things that have happened to me and my Marines i am in charge of. She keeps pressuring me to tell her things that i am really not sure she can handle and i dont want to push her away by not telling her everything.

I want to be completely open with her but it scares me to think of how she will react to what i have to tell her...

[armybratswife]

as a wife of a man whos had ptsd for years (since the gulf war) and an army wife and mom of 4. she may fear what you know but not knowing something is worse then knowing your demons. at least in my experience. when my husband was diagnosed we were on the verge of divorce because he came home from this 15 mo. tour downrange and it all came to the surface again. he was injured and was a totally different person. before he had pretty good control of his symptoms but this new deployment wasnt anything nice. i love him and watchin his pain was causing me pain therefore i felt alienated and we pulled further and further apart but now that he tells me some things(he still keeps alot to himself) i may not understand his plight but i do empathize.....i love him and want him to be in the best shape possible. we have been married 9 years and are thinking bout adding to our family. i want you to know i am told that this ptsd is managable....dont fear it, get educated and talk about it. it will make life easier!

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

Cpl - -  I am a Vietnam era Vet - -   Just finishing fighting a war that I was in 40 years ago......  Talk...tell her...It may seem instinctive to "shelter" her - - - but its the wrong choice for both of you.  PTSD has many answers now......cognitive behavior therapy and very simple measures will address it quite well..................    I thought that I was home free from that one - - then I got bit in a delayed form.  There is a lot of psychology behind it.....  But you need to keep it out in the open.............  Communicate and dont sell the fiance short!

[margypops]

Okey doke I am always around I work online so I can just click over , she may not be scared away .women do understand a lot... this is your fear ... Pm when you are ready ...

[Cpl_usmc]

Margypops, thanks for your advice. I will be sending you a pm shortly to talk more if that is ok with you. I hope that she will understand me and hope that i dont just still everything out and scare her away with my problems.

[margypops]

I have heard this before and it is a tough call to make ,only you can make it, if it was me I would shield her from some of the things you have gone through, and think of it like that , you have the images and the dreams which you have to live with, and as time goes by it does get better, for a start you will learn to accept what happend ,that perhaps you were not  in control,others were,  you did what you had to do,what you were ordered to do.However you dont have to unload it all onto her, possibly she could come to terms with it, but possibly she couldnt,so dont tell her lies simply dont tell her the unimaginable .If you want to talk there are always good folks here that have time to listen to you, you may PM us at any time... Good Luck Corporal and Thank You, you are appreciated beyond measure ..