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Hi I don't know if my post will make any sense but here goes.
I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism in 2011. I still remember the conversation between my doctor and I very well. In it he said "you appear to have an underactive thyroid gland."
He prescribed me levothyroxine and when I went to the practice to collect the prescription script I filled out my part of the exemption form in a daze.
So when I went to collect my prescription at the chemist I remember sitting in the waiting area for my medication and I overheard the dispenser who served me say to her colleague "this is a prescription for levothyroxine for that young girl. She's only just been diagnosed." Her colleague replied "Aww." That made me feel so much better. Not really.
I left my job in November 2012 because of how poorly I felt and my manager was not very understanding as to why I felt so sick. She would write notes in meetings where I wanted to discuss how ill I felt and she put these notes in my record which made me feel like a hypochondriac. I still managed to come in to work, every single day without fail, and I kept going without knowing anything about my illness. I kept going because that was the only thing I knew how to do.
Even now I still cannot come to terms with my illness. I get angry when I think back to when I left my job and how I could have stayed in it had my manager have understood better at the time. I blame myself for leaving and having such a complicated illness and I keep thinking to myself how selfish I could be when my partner works and I no longer do.
I have thought about looking for work because my grandparents keep going on about me doing so even though they know I am hypothyroid and they think that if I mention to any potential employer at an interview about my illness and that I took some time off to recover from it, that would perceive me as weak.
I have absolutely no support network and I used to find myself going on thyroid support forums, asking the same questions over and over again - I guess because the diagnosis has not sunk in at all and I cannot process it - and when I get blood tests done that come back normal I have trouble understanding why I still feel so bad.
My thoughts are kind of all over the place. They mainly consist of:
"Why have I got it? I have no family history of it."
"I'm not even 30."
"Will it change the way I look?" I already know this to be true as it can make my eyes appear heavy and dark.
"Will the medication reach the point where they won't work?"
"Will my family accept me for who I am and that they would not think had I have not been born this would never have happened?"
"Will they think it's all in my head?" I still think my illness is in my head because of my normal blood test results.
"Will it ever go away?"
"Why are my doctors not very concerned about such a young person having a thyroid illness? Do they see me as a statistic?"
I feel like I'm going crazy and that I am exaggerating my situation as there are people out there with so much more distressing backgrounds than myself.
Please, can anyone help me make sense of this as I feel like I'm losing control and I don't know why I'm thinking all of these thoughts.
the thyroid being off can make you feel crazy.
I know. Yet it can be managed. If doctors says normal could still not be because it is complicated and must be talyored to each person.
Can you get an Endochronologist?
If you have one,
can u research the lab ranges and tests so you can always get you printed blood tests?
Then u can question because there is a way to feel good. It has to be checked regularly and normal on a test may not be for you.
If your symptoms are there then the medication or medications are not correct.
I have struggled with this.
some great folks here and check Thyroid group for great links and stories.
You can feel well, I know.
As far as jobs you can say You took time off for your family, and do not want to discuss. You do not even have to give a reason just I needed that time for personal reasons that no longer impact my work.
It is tricky but gets easier.
MUST get educated about symptoms, tests, ranges, labs, medications, alternative meds...
I see an endocrinologist at present but she keeps moving my appointment further and further away. I was due to see her on the 19th April and she has now decided to move my appointment to the 25th May. This is the 4th time it has been moved and it's been distressing me as to why they do this.
I have researched the lab ranges and tests and have copies of all results if you'd like to see. My doctors says they are normal but I cannot accept that they are saying that because I feel terrible. One doctor at my practice put me on anti-depressants as he said I had neurosis.
My bloods have been done (only the TSH) in August, November and December of last year and then January and February of last year. I begrudgingly went private back in March to get a full thyroid panel done as my doctors were not willing to test me, themselves.
My symptoms do point to thyroid issues as I feel my medication no longer works.
Hypo and Hyper Thyroid Illness can cause a range of problems, some of them in the Mental Area also. If you cannot get relief from your doctor on a regular dose, then perhaps a couple of sessions with a therapist are in order.
There is something about disease and getting older that alot of people do not accept, a good therapist may be able to help you with many issues...
I personally know someone who is very close to me who has your same health problem and although she is older it was still a struggle for her to find her zen again. It has been about 4 years now that she has been on medication and she is the happiest I've ever seen her. She is now hiking every single day in the early morning hours, eating healthy, and occupying her time with going to school while working full time! Now talk about a superhero Mom. I have talks with her and she said the best thing for her is working out and finding new strength within herself that she thought she could never get back when diagnosed. I look up to her and all that she has proven to herself and to me. I am a believer that staying healthy and fit while occupying your time can relieve any symptoms of depression and obscure thoughts.
I am sorry you are going through this :(. I can relate. I am also in my 20's and have been suffering from thyroid problems (and other unrelated medical problems) for the past few years. I also have no family history. My medical problems make it very difficult for me to find and keep a job. Often my family and friends don't fully understand what I'm going through and how these problems have affected my life and ability to work and feel normal. These medical conditions makes people think I'm lazy and unmotivated and I hate it. But giving up is not an option! There has to be some way to fix this problem or at least make it better, we just need to find it.
From what I understand hypothyroidism can really affect your motivation, your ability to function, and even your mood. So please don't blame yourself, it's not your fault!! Another thing to consider is that levothyroxine doesn't work for everyone, even if it makes the tests look normal. Based on what I've seen on multiple thyroid forums this problem is not uncommon. Some patients do a lot better on Armour thyroid or other T3 containing medications.
Some doctors don't care too much about individual patients because they see so many patients every day and they simply don't have the time. But some doctors will take your symptoms and concerns seriously and find ways to help you feel better. If your doctor only checks your TSH, you should definitely consider seeing another doctor. You could ask people in the thyroid forum for a list of good thyroid doctors in your area. Here are some additional resources: http://www.thyroid-info.com/topdrs/unitedkingdom.htm, http://thyroid.about.com/cs/doctors/a/topdocs.htm
Do you have antibodies (TPO or Tg)? Is your blood Rh negative? From what I understand blood Rh increases your probability of having an autoimmune condition, such as Hashimoto thyroid (which often causes hypothyroidism).
Could you post you lab results?
I wish I could answer more of your questions, but I'm not a doctor.
I hope this helps and that you'll get better soon.
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