Past history of PTSD

[Angelinthemorning]

Hello all, I'm on the abuse forum.  I've been seeing a counselor for a couple months now.  Anyway, we've finally done all the background info and stuff and whereas I don't have a current diagnosis.  I was told I have a past history of PTSD.  I was emotionally, physically, and sexually abused as a child by my father.  Here is my question.  I have always had a sense of paranoia surrounding my father.  Even though I'm married to a wonderful man, who I consider my "protector".  I often times feel like my family(father/mother) is watching me.  I don't have contact with them but, I have really bad days where I won't even answer my door b/c I'm afraid it's them.  I think they have "spies" like my neighbors or something that are reporting back to them about what I'm doing or where I'm going.  I'm just wondering if this is like a small sympton of PTSD??  How do I cope and stop being scared they're going to come get me??  I can't think of any logical thing that would happen if I saw them.  But, I'm so scared.  I have friends that live in my parent's hometown and I won't even go visit them unless my husband is with me for fear of running into my father.  Please help, any similar experiences or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.  And therapy seems to be making things worse instead of better right now.  I'm digging through all the past and I hate it...why can't I just keep it buried...

[margypops]

I havent too much input here I am hoping others may have some ideas, it is undersatandable you would be fearful ,I am wondering if you would be better moving from the area if you are near them, I have found that it is my thoughts that cause the trouble so when I find myself worrying I allow myself a few mins then I say' Stop' I distract myself, its impossible to experience any negative feeling without first creating a negative corresponding thought , its a simple strategy but seems to work ,when you feel the fear let yourself think ,then put it away, you can get into a habit of doing this. I have been through panic /anxiety ,I battled it I would run from a store till I stopped myself,distracting and grounding your self may help you as it did me. I realise this all sounds so simple but sometimes they are the things that work, if you are like I was I would try anything to feel better. The Meds I got made me feel worse ,I take supplements today with good effects .Visualisation helped me also.Its hard isnt it,, good your husband is a help to you .