Please help

[mrsfenn212]

My husband has had ptsd for several years now..due to being in the army for 11the years..as well as 4 deployments. It was never bad...it seemed like when we were around his peers he was okay... but he got.medically discharged this past year (which he tried to fight. But the army wouldn't let.him stay in due to a bad ankle) n i feel like now its gwtting bad! He is depresses all he talks about ia how he wishes they wouldn't make him gey out and he talks about his "boys" and he gets so down n sad.when he thinks about all the ones thar wete.killed. i feel like lately he ia drinking his life away .... n doing anythinf he can ti get awat from reality. I was worried about him one day n came.home from work early and caught.him smoking.weed in the house. I jist cant.believe after.all these years we would evee be in a situation like this...and to top it off we r having a baby in 7the weeks....i want to take him to tjw doctor tomorrow im.hoping he will.not be stubborn ans go...but im so nervous.nothing will.help. im also scared about the medicine doctora normally prescribe. My husband has a very addictive pwraonality... after his first ankle surgery he was addicted to pain meds.. the only way he got better was when he ran out... but with ptsd meds n anti depressants im nervous he would take too many..or if he doea run out one day ...he will be this peraon he is now... a person i sont recognize ... my heart is breaking :-(

[MYoungAtHeart]

I too hope that this fridays trip will be better for you and your husband.

I am also a family member of a deployed soldier who is suffering
from very many of the same symptoms that your husband is.  
The VA clinics are really getting a workout now that PTSD is tops
in the news and yes it must have been frustrating to go there and
be told to just wait.

I too know that the person suffering from PTSD does look forward
to happy things, especially something like the birth of his new daughter
or an upcoming anniversary.  In most cases it is a chance for a
new start, a new path, and the hope for a happier life for everyone
in the family.

I too hope that your husband can at least get some appointments
set up in the near future after your visit this week.  That also will give you
something positive to focus on while that beautiful baby is
getting ready to be born.  I am so excited for you and your family
and do hope that if you get a minute or 2 in your life in the next few weeks
to come back and tell us how you are all doing.  As a mom, I do know that sometimes that is impossible so for now I will say
Congratulations to you and your husband on the birth of your baby girl.

The best of luck to you all....

M

[mrsfenn212]

So we went to the VA friday... honestly felt like a big joke. We waited for about 2 hours to be seen and then they told us they didn't have anyone available in the mental health clinic. Maybe it was my fault because i wanted to get my hubby in right away so we didn't make an appointment :-/ so we have an appointment for this upcoming Friday ...my husband seems to be "okay" from what i see on the outside.. obviously internally i don't understand how he is feeling. The unfortunate part is when hes at work during the day i think hr stays so busy that he doesnt have time to focus on his thoughts and emotions ...it's when he comes home in the evening everything kinda hits him...and i work nights as a nurse :-/ so i cant be with him when he needs me most. Anyways..im hoping the next va trip will be more successful ..and my due date is in 40 days so im.looking forward to being able to stay at home for the 3.months and focus on my family. I know the baby will have a positive effect on mu.hubby.. its all he talks about ..and how excited he is and.how he will love our daughter more than anything.. but im still keeping my fingers crossed that we can get on.some sort of "treatment" plan before our daughter is here. I just want my husband to be happy and live the most normal life he can ..without these interruptions.

[MYoungAtHeart]

I know how difficult it is from the standpoint of the patient and of the family member of the patient who is suffering from the PTSD.  

The alcohol and pot is the pain relief for the patient, but for the family member who is standing by and watching there is no pain relief.  You say that you are nearly due to deliver and it is not to late to find yourself a therapist who might be able to help you through this time.  Your mental health along with the babies health must be your major concern at this time
and in the future..

I wish you the very best of luck and please let us know how you are

M

[drifter0213]

that's great to stand by your man through thick& thin i respect that mrsfenn soon as i opened up i got the support here on medhelp that i needed and realized i can help others too :)

[mrsfenn212]

Im going to take him to the VA Friday ..its the only day he could get off work. Im trying so.hard to be supportive because i know it would be even harder for him if he didnt atleast have me...but as much as i want.to be supportive ...some of the things he is doing is so unacceptable like the weed and how much he's been drinking that a part of me also wants to put ny foot down...but don't want to add to his problems /emotions ... i really appreciate the input... im prepared to stick by him for tge long haul we've been together for 9u years already...for better or worse. I just hope when i takr him to the va Friday he will open up and accept some form of help... i know the simple thought of a mental health clinic.just makes him want to run the other way.

[drifter0213]

when i got back home i had similar problems drinking doing drugs screaming and yelling i was traumatized by what happened to me  and i had to fight for benefits when i got out i waited four years and got the treament i wanted finally. remember that PTSD will be with you for a long time ok :)

[CrazyBirdLady67]

I actually understand this VERY well as the same thing happened to me. HE has to fix it. The only thing you can do is get him to go to the VA. He will be around fellow veterans he can talk to and get the treatment he needs at no cost. They usually have treatment and social events as well as support groups. He is headed down a long, difficult road. Support him in his decisions, guide him but let him make the choices.