I have had both homicidal and suicidal thoughts rather than feelings,I was told thoughts were ok as long as you understand they are only thoughts and are never tempted to act on them. If you have any doubts then talk to someone immediately.
Just because you are having these thoughts doesn't mean you are a bad person, but it could indicate a mental illness (like PTSD) that needs to be treated! It can be helped, but the problem with not telling someone is when you're mind is not right and you can potentially do things you wouldn't normally do. Thats why you need to speak to someone. Many woman experience a psychosis after having children and they are always warned to speak to someone immediatley when having suicidal or homicidal thoughts or feelings.
if you have a doctor i would let him know about the way you feel he can give you a consult and maybe you can see another doctor, like a psychiatrist and they will help you if you are completely honest with them :)
I don't know where you live, what size your town is, where the nearest good size town might be, but... if talking to a stranger would help, there usually is a 'crisis' phone line to call in your phone book. If there is one in your area, please call it and talk to the person on call. They are usually 24 hour available. I have been on both ends of the line. They can help as listeners, even-more, they can often give you ideas and referrals. Please know, you are FAR from the only one who has ever thought this way. As another poster alluded, it is one think to consider these things, and quite another to follow through with actions we know are wrong. Good luck to you and my prayers.
I think it's very brave of you to ask this question outright, as you obviously feel bad about feeling this way, and worried what others might say. The very fact that you are so upset by these thoughts etc means you are extremely unlikely to actually do anything to harm another person. I know the difference between those who might and those that couldn't because of personal experience. I actually fantasize about killing people. I'll spend hours, even days or weeks, plotting, planning and even doing 'dummy' runs of murdering people. Sometimes it's people I know and othertimes they are total strangers. If someone really angers me, just planning and thinking of how to kill them will have a calming effect and soothes me. I enjoy working out how to "get" them and not get caught. What weapon to use, how and where to get rid of it, how not to leave any incriminating evidence behind etc etc. None of what I do makes me feel bad or horrible. So you feeling so awful about having just simple thoughts is nothing at all to be so distressed about. Please don't let yourself feel bad, or let anyone else tell you that you're evil or sick. I don't think you would ever in a million years harm someone because of this. You are in more danger of beating yourself up over it!!! You sound like a normal person who gets normal thoughts when hurt or upset by others. You've simply asked about what others wouldn't normally admit to. Stay strong xxx
I think it is only human nature to have some type of homicidal thoughts we are all created with basic instincts the key is to realize it is only a thought and that not all thoughts should be carried out if unable to tell the difference seek serious help immediately but a thought is just a thought good or bad until carried out
I have PTSD from events occurring almost 2 years ago. And yes, at times I wanted to kill the person responsible-- I think so he would hurt like I hurt. I told my MD; he didn.t seem too concerned......and everyones still alive! Lots of people who have been abused in some way have these thoughts. Doesn't mean its okay to act on them.
The fact you are scared speaks volumes. Thoughts are funny little things. They can be obtrusive and uninvited and they can confuse the hell out of you. I have had those thoughts before, too; and, yes, I have PTSD, too. They're normal for this type of mental trauma. Mainly, it's misdirected anger that can manifest as suicidal or homicidal feelings/thoughts. You could be subconciously wishing you could hurt those who hurt you or you could have a condition where your neurotransmitters are misfiring and causing you to have these odd thoughts. Either way, you should talk to a doctor. I'm proud of you for standing up and asking if this is normal. It's a scary thing, but if you read up on PTSD, it's actually pretty common. Good luck! :)
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