need some advice!!

[Christina33]

I actually signed up with medhelp because of a perscription addiction that I'm trying to overcome, but the real root problem is my PTSD issues. I was doing pretty well for quite a while - taking meds but not out of control. I've always had a tendency to self medicate. I recovered from a heroin addiction as a teenager and that was all about numbing out too. I was diagnosed originally at age 12. Grew up with a mentally ill mom and a step-father who I believe has antisocial/sadistic personality disorder. Anyway it was a pretty brutal upbringing and I'm still not at a point where I can really face it. My step father got out of prison about a year ago and that's when I started spinning out of control and using more and more substances to get through. There have been several instances of contact/harassment and I really can't tell anyone about it. The guy I'm with knows a bit about my history but he would freak out if I told him what's going on now. I had been coping by staying SUPER busy and taking LOTS of pills but that all back fired and I almost died. I have to find another way to cope but I'm afraid I can't. Everyone expects me to be perfect and I can't keep up the act anymore. I feel like everything is crashing down. I've done therapy in the past but it seems to just make things worse. I just wish I didn't have to deal with it at all. Any advice would be appreciated because I'm really at the end of what I can handle.

[margypops]

hi Christina hope you are doing well, give us an update ..marg

[narla]

Hi Christina
                I have made a reply to your post in the abuse forum.

Good Luck  Denise