Aa
need some help
well i am not sure where to begin... when i was 5 my mom went to a baby shower with a family friend and left my sister and i home with my dad and his friend and his friends daughter which was probally a year older then me...the girl sexually abused me and i told my mother and she said it never happened to me...how does she know... she wasn't there!!! and when i was 7 i was walking home from school and a boy waved to me and i waved back another boy that liked me got upset that i waved to that boy so he threw me on the ground and help my face in the snow...if a lady hadn't came out of her house i believe he would of killed me....again my mother was told and did absolutely nothing about it!!!!..
Then when i was in the 4th grade and about 8 years old i had to take mandatory swimming classes and the gym teacher made me lay on the side of the pool and put my head in and count to 10 and i couldn't even to 3 without jumping up and i can remember her making me do it again and again..and there was a girl that came up under me one day and pulled me under and i swallowed the water and got out screaming and crying and the teacher said for me to go in the locker room and wipe my face and get right back in..i told her my head felt like it was gonna explode and she said you will be alright just get back in.....i also had a time when i wouldn't share with my parents about the swimming incident and was refusing to go to school so my mother came in my bedroom and tried to smother me with her body and was shaking me and telling me i had to go to school or she would be arrested...this was 39 years ago...i have been in counseling and been hosptilized several times and been on many medications...to this day i can't stand the smell of chlorine and to even look at a large area of water it even bothers me to open the freezer and have the cold air blowing on me...when i was younger i used to torture myself and stand in front of a fan for 10 seconds because the teacher told me i had to learn to hold my breath and i used to take a pillow and cover my face... i feel like i am a crazy person!!!!! i am so afraid of having my air conditioner blowing on me but yet i still have those voices of her telling me to do it and i still do and i go hystercal.....i need serious help!!!!! every counselor and psychiatrists has done nothing for me!!!!!
ma
Then when i was in the 4th grade and about 8 years old i had to take mandatory swimming classes and the gym teacher made me lay on the side of the pool and put my head in and count to 10 and i couldn't even to 3 without jumping up and i can remember her making me do it again and again..and there was a girl that came up under me one day and pulled me under and i swallowed the water and got out screaming and crying and the teacher said for me to go in the locker room and wipe my face and get right back in..i told her my head felt like it was gonna explode and she said you will be alright just get back in.....i also had a time when i wouldn't share with my parents about the swimming incident and was refusing to go to school so my mother came in my bedroom and tried to smother me with her body and was shaking me and telling me i had to go to school or she would be arrested...this was 39 years ago...i have been in counseling and been hosptilized several times and been on many medications...to this day i can't stand the smell of chlorine and to even look at a large area of water it even bothers me to open the freezer and have the cold air blowing on me...when i was younger i used to torture myself and stand in front of a fan for 10 seconds because the teacher told me i had to learn to hold my breath and i used to take a pillow and cover my face... i feel like i am a crazy person!!!!! i am so afraid of having my air conditioner blowing on me but yet i still have those voices of her telling me to do it and i still do and i go hystercal.....i need serious help!!!!! every counselor and psychiatrists has done nothing for me!!!!!
ma
The people who say "get over it" have no clue as to what YOU are going through. Some of these people have issues that you or I may laugh at (not really laugh, but not find as a serious problem). For those people and for us alike is, our problems are ours. We own them, and we have to live with them Some of them are big monsters, ever looming around every corner, and some are rather small. But they are ours, and that's what makes them difficult for US to deal with.
Take phobias for instance. I'm afraid of heights.... My knees start to shake when I walk up a ladder... my hands sweat, I get a queezy feeling in my stomach, my head starts spinning.... it is a real problem. (For some reason, I love flying though... go figure.) But for a lot of other people, heights are nothing... some would even laugh at me.
I am also afraid of deep water... not like pool deep, but like lake deep. I can't think of a reason why. There is no way that I'd jump off a boat, swim to the end of a rope to water ski.... it aint gonna happen in the middle of a lake! Some people find that funny as well.
What I was trying to get at is, you're problems are real and they are valid. Part of getting through or around these problems is understanding them, and tracking what triggers the thoughts around them. Once we can get a handle on those things, we know where we can and cannot go comfortably.
I am really surprised that a therapist hasn't made ground regarding your issues. You can overcome those issues, and meds don't necessarily need to be around for the rest of your life. It is one day at a time with these problems.... we also need to remember that only we can control us. That's why its important to track triggers that make you panic.
Take your time, find another therapist that specializes in PTSD and work with your GP.
Take phobias for instance. I'm afraid of heights.... My knees start to shake when I walk up a ladder... my hands sweat, I get a queezy feeling in my stomach, my head starts spinning.... it is a real problem. (For some reason, I love flying though... go figure.) But for a lot of other people, heights are nothing... some would even laugh at me.
I am also afraid of deep water... not like pool deep, but like lake deep. I can't think of a reason why. There is no way that I'd jump off a boat, swim to the end of a rope to water ski.... it aint gonna happen in the middle of a lake! Some people find that funny as well.
What I was trying to get at is, you're problems are real and they are valid. Part of getting through or around these problems is understanding them, and tracking what triggers the thoughts around them. Once we can get a handle on those things, we know where we can and cannot go comfortably.
I am really surprised that a therapist hasn't made ground regarding your issues. You can overcome those issues, and meds don't necessarily need to be around for the rest of your life. It is one day at a time with these problems.... we also need to remember that only we can control us. That's why its important to track triggers that make you panic.
Take your time, find another therapist that specializes in PTSD and work with your GP.
Thanks drifter0213, it seems that everyone i talk to.. say get over it...they say there are many more people with worse problems....i am sure that is the way they see it but they don't live my life everyday....I take xanax 3x a day and ambiem to sleep....the xanax doesn't even touch the racing thoughts as soon as i wake up....i feel so worthless!!!!!
sometimes traumatic events stay with us for a long time after they happened i attend group therapy and i take pills too for PTSD and schizophrenia. i still suffer from nightmares and flashbacks from combat and i don't sleep that well at night :)
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