ptsd want to give up

I was raised in war torn country, was sexually and emotionally abused as a child.  I've been diagnosed for a long time with ptsd but the abuse is just now coming back to me.  Also I have disassociative seizures because of it.  I've been in therapy for awhile.  In august this year I tried to overdose and was in patient for a week.
Thought I was doing better but am really down, wishing I could die.  I've used my "safety plan" and let others know how I feel and they just go on like they don't know what to do.  They never ask how I am, and if I say it is a bad day they sit with me then fall asleep...........ughhhhhhhh feel so alone...........
thank

[drifter0213]

your symptoms of ptsd are treatable normally the doctor will prescribe an anti-depressant remember you are not alone ok :)

[margypops]

It is no doubt hard to put your past behind you, what I think may help you is curbing those thoughts. Whenever the bad memories return try to switch off , not easy I know but you can try and form a habit of doing so.Afew years ago I had a trauma that left me with PTSD and I would go over and over what happened to me , I found a great book that started me on my way to healing ,by Richard Carlson called 'Slowing Down to the Speed of life" The one passage that stuck in my head was this ' Its impossible to experience any negative feeling without first creating a a negative corresponding thought,The truth is,our thinking will always create the reality we perceive"This book became my savior when I felt bad and I taught myself to switch off the thoughts that made me feel bad.I found MH at the same time and realised many were like me..I recovered from PTSD without the aid of Meds, but with the power of positive thought. I hope you may be able to do the same .. Merry Christmas to you

[rudyhorse]

Thank you so much.........I am on several medication that help.  I will get that book, thank you so much.....My therapist believes in FEAR, feel everything and recover, but I am not sure how well this is working for me.  
Thanks again!!

[drifter0213]

hey try to find and identify your triggers of what sets you off mine are helicopters :)

[margypops]

Try the used section on Amazon, you should get one really cheap, its a paperback the one I have .Drifter has a good point figure out what triggers the feelings I think it may be memories of your past .

[rudyhorse]

Hey I ordered the book 1cent.. :) used books thru barnes /nobles
I agree to find triggers, and I bet it is memories.  Loud noises I knew for sure just never thought of the memories.

Thank you all so much!

[drifter0213]

i think that PTSD is intense fear :)

[margypops]

Glad you got the book it helped me a lot ...I still read through it, I also use visualization when I need to .