Firstly I am very sorry this happened to you, you should have been protecte... too many times children are not protected , both parents are in denial or are afraid of splitting the family up.,it is never the victims fault, thats the tough bit so many children grow up believing it was their fault that somehow they caused it to happen.I do think it affects their life, they have to find the strength to accept it happened and determine not to let it ruin/affect their whole life, This is where I feel therapy comes in ,that in speaking to someone who understands they can come to terms with it, short term meds also, but I have a differing opinion about long term Meds as I feel they stifle feelings that have to come out before healing starts You say your life has been a big mess yes it was, but now it isnt.. you prove to your self that you can live and do whatever you want, let it make you stronger, enpower you ,it really feels good when you move on and get it right.these miserable people who perpetrated this bad stuff on you will have this forever on their concience,I wouldnt want that ...Thats why I say its hard to forgive ,it is.. so dont think about it, its okay to feel that way you have the right ..Good Luck in telling some of your story you are helping others and the release is a good thing .....
I am 48 y/o and when I was 7-8 y/o my brother abused me sexually along with a neighbor boy. I got a little older...my mom and dad seperated and alot of the men friends she had abused me sexually with me not knowing any better. I got married at 40...stayed married a couple of years and got raped...we were living in my house and I told him to get out and never come back! I soon filed for divorce and have been single ever since. Therefore, I know exactly how you feel. I have never been able to forgive or forget. I am in therapy and on meds. I agree with you if a person has not had traumatic experiences happen to them they do not know how it is. I closed myself off to the world when I was 7-8 y/o and stayed in my bedroom with the door closed and would only come out to get something to eat. I did not watch tv or anything. I am trying to overcome all this but it is extremely hard. My life has been a BIG mess!
I'm 47 and still can not forgive or forget what happened when I was 7 thats 40 years so I understand it"s not easy,i wish i could.
You do have a valid point there des...
When i say to forgive, i didn't mean their actions are good or acceptable
Reason why i say to forgive is that if you forgive them you're actually ignoring them & you fell much relief & those events & images will eventually fade from your memory.
If you say to yourself i will never forgive etc your actually reinforcing that grief,anger,traumatic events into your mind which holds you from living a normal life
Hope you got my point
yes true! yea i wnt forgive!! just need to forget! ppl who havent been through anything trumatic dont understand fully! but dnt expect them to.
I feel like that with some things , like that sports Star who was attrocius to the dogs we heard of recently he got out and they let him go back to his sport..I find that hard to forgive , also abuse like this pervert and the girl he abducted Jaycee, the Lockerbie Terrorist that a Scottish Judge saw fit to l;et out after he has killed 270 innocent folks 189 of which were Americans, I agree with you some things are not ever forgivable.
people say forgive those that hurt you! and your self! why wuld u want to forgive them? makes them look like they havent done anything wrong!
It's good you have a friend watching out for you, trust them, they obviously care for you. You have been through some terrible trauma that nobody should have to go through. Please don't feel ashamed, you have nothing to be ashamed of. Our minds are very complicated, the more you discuss with your caregivers, the more they will be able to help you heal. It's their job, they understand and help with peoples difficulties daily. Remember that no matter how you feel, it's temporary and even though it may feel like it at times, your not alone. There are others like your friend that will care and understand, the rest don't matter
I am sorry you are feeling bad, has anything stressful happened recently that would trigger past feelings from Trauma, what meds had you been taking and what are you taking now, sometimes some meds do have side effects and can cause symptoms you describe,however it does sound like anxiety,what are you feeling when you hurt/injure your self, they are right about talking to someone I think they mean some counselling, To get to the bottom of why you are feeling like this you have to find out if it is the rape that has caused it,then as I say the very best thing for you is therapy, Good Luck let us know how you are doing.
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem - Richard Banler creator of NLP
I'll tell you a simple technique to get rod of your anxiety/depression
FORGIVE everyone who raped you & also forgive yourself for not doing job,eating not properly,holding on bad past thoughts etc
There's no point in holding on anxiety,anger etc look on to the future,instead of holding on past mistakes,disappointments etc
Good luck!