22 year old on oxycontin for 2 years

[rbaz5732]

Hi,
I asked this question in a different forum but I basically have been on oxycontin for over 2 years 120-160 mgs per day...
here is the link for the disscussion but I basically don't know what to do and I want some advice on what to do...
Thanks,
Rick
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Addiction-Substance-Abuse/22-year-old-on-oxycontin-for-2-years-120-160-mg-perday/show/939982?personal_page_id=490015&;post_id=post_4422253

[Red931]

Well I read your posts over in the Substance Abuse Forum. I see you have already met Nick who is also over here. There are two things that stand out when reading your posts. The first thing is that you are on a dosage of Oxycontin that is usually prescribed to people that are terminal with cancer. I take Oxycontin myself, 20mg. a day and I am worried that I am prescribed too much. I have been in the operating room 11 times since August 2006 and was told last Monday that I have to go again. My injuries are to both shoulders and right ankle.

All of these joints have been reconstructed more than once. My pain level stays at about a seven everyday as well. The Oxycontin can get it between a 4-5 but only for about 5-6 hours. I am supposed to take it twice a day but I don't. I will take a 5/325 Percocet if need be to get to sleep.

The other thing that stood out was that you said that you cut the Oxycontin to try to taper. You should NEVER do this with this drug it was not meant for that. Doing this will only make your problems worse. You should have asked your doctor to give you a different dose to taper. Your doctor should have explained this to you before prescribing Oxycontin. Please don't do it again, it is very dangerous.

You say that you are going to see a new doctor tomorrow. My advice to you is to be honest with this doctor and tell him that you want to taper off the Oxycontin and try an alternative method to control your pain after you are off the Oxycontin. That would be the proper way to do this. You are going to go through some pain to do it but it is the right way to go as your dosage is so high. You are taking the equivilent of 30 Percocet a day. That is an awful lot of oxycodone for an orthopedic injury in my opinion.

I am twice your age and I wuss over 20mg. I don't know how taking as much as you have been taking for two years can help you in the long run. If you continue there won't be anything that they can give you that will work for you as your tolerance will be too high.

Good Luck

[rbaz5732]

thanks for your comments.... I know that is the main concern of most of these doctors is that my age is so young for this dosage....

I think I sustained serious nerve damage from the 5-6 games played with fractured 5th metatarsal at the neck of the bone... actually a place where every orthopedic doctor I went to couldn't believe it.... so I don't know what to do that is why I have joined these groups so I can get support and some ideas on what do to.....

I know my level of medication is overly high but for periods of time I couldn't sleep because I was under such pain all the time... thats when I moved from hydrocodone to oxycontin because the doctors wanted my pain to be stabilized....

I have never cheated doctors or lied to them because I realize thats where addiction and problems start... I did have a 3 month period where the doctors at Texas Tech International Pain institute were able to get my pain to go away with an experimental procedure.... but they repeated the procedure... it was called RFTC or something like that..... and they put a temp prob in my back and pulsed my nerves on my l4 and l5 vertebrate..... I know it is hard to believe but my pain did go away for awhile but then it just started working less and less... then the doctors put me on oxycontin because they didn't know what else to do.....

I know I need and want to cut down my dosage at the very least.... that will be my goal for the summer... each doctor wants me to get a SCS and I won't do it at my age....I cannot do it..... I won't and will not get it... I just don't know what else to do...
thats why I am asking for your help thanks.... for your posts

[Mollyrae]

Why wouldn't you try the SCS. It5 is better than taking the amount of Oxycontin that your currently taking. Your body cannot hold up to that amount of narcotic for a long period of time. You will really do harm to your organs.

You mention splitting the Oxycontin. I suppose you know that that is a BIG no no. You are releasing a huge amount of medication into your system on a daily basis and I feel that this is a big part of your problem. Your body is becoming too tolerant of the medication at an alarming rate. Soon, nothing will work. There won't be a medication out there that can sustain your need.

I hope that you can find the strengh to cut back on the Oxycontin and try the SCS. In my opinion, your life depends on it.

Please take care,
Mollyrae

[rbaz5732]

to be very honest the SCS scares the heck out of me and it is almost just as bad as the meds in my case... I have had doctors say I should get it.... then I have had doctors tell me that if I get that it is very possible that the leads will move because I am so active so I may have to come in every other month or every month to the leads replaced....

Well I am feeling tons better today.. this is my 6th day off oxy's and it was hard quiting cold turkey but it was my only option...

wish me luck I am headed to my NEW pain doctor today.....

[Red931]

Maybe I missed something, but I only recall you posting that you tried weaning off of Oxycontin and it didn't work. Now you posted that you went Cold Turkey six days ago.

Cold Turkey off of a 160mg a day dose is dangerous. I would think that your withdrawls would have been quite severe after a dosage this high for two years.

[Mollyrae]

I am confused as well Red. I read the same thing......................

[Red931]

You know I was suspicous with the 35 doctors thing and the large dosage, but gave this one the benefit of the doubt. When I mentioned the cutting up of the pills as you also did he did not address it.  I have noticed that people that don't take the time to list a profile and ask alot of questions about pain meds are not on the up and up here.

I hope that is not the case with this guy because too many of us have given many hours of attention to this person in both forums.

[Tuckamore]

Hello Rbaz,

I have a lot of questions but many more concerns. Twenty two years old, thirty five doctors in two years, 160mg of Oxycontin and "cutting" the tablets (can be life threatening), "I'm tapering" and "I'm off them, I went cold turkey" are very concerning. And some of your statements are very contradictory. You seem to vasilate.

Oxycontin tablets are a controlled-release formulation. When cut these are immediately released into your system. We all know how horrid severe chronic pain can be and how disruptive it is to our lives. My pain level is generally around a six or seven and it reaches a nine. However I do not want to take more opiates and I am older than you.  You may have years ahead of you of pain. In my opinion you are past a therapeutic dose that can be increased if your pain increases and as you build a tolerance to these opiates.

According to your posts you are seeing or have seen another physician today. I hope you have been honest with him/her. You may require rehab or a controlled, physician monitored tapering to withdraw from all opiates and begin again. In my opinion you cannot continue on this course and apparently you understand that. I hope you will be assertive in making changes to your opiate situation and working with the physicians to regain control of your life.

I will watch for your updates with interest.
Peace, Tuck  

[rbaz5732]

To clear the assumptions... that you All have been assuming.... No I do not "doctor shop" I have been referred or transferred to other doctors due second third opinions as well as I lived out in LA for two summer doing internships where I had to have a doctor out there to prescribe for me.

The reason my profile is not filled out is because I just joined the group and I have finals all this week so I am trying to focus on my finals... I am a mechanical engineering major... When I get time I will fill it all out...

I apologize I should have provided dates for the two different scenarios ... As far as tapering off and also cold turkey.... When I tapered off the medication it was in January of February of this year... This was requested by my pain specialists at texas tech to see if their procedure gave me any relief... which it did not....

I was on 160 mgs.... asked doctor to cut me down to 120 mgs in March after no success with tappering....

Also I did go cold turkey from 120 mgs.... but this was aided somewhat because I had a few leftovers (oxy's) of lower mgs so I took those and I know it wasn't the smartest idea but I needed to prove that I could get off of them...

At the doctor today... he basically took every diagnosis that I got over the past 2-3 years about my problem and said they were wrong but he doesn't know what is wrong... but I need to be off that level of meds...

The doctor today suggested... That I go through a 4 week detox program with him and his staff ... nurses, doctors, psychologists and everything else to help me wean off and try to learn how to be totally off the meds and or be on a lot lower dosage... he said if I could be on between 15-30 mgs a day.... that would be way better than before... but he also said that the idea is that I can be totally off and learn to deal with the pain without meds.... But he agreed because my case is so different.... he said what we maybe doing is tapering you off to nothing then see what you can take to solve the pain if I cannot handle no meds....

As of now I am on board for the 4 week Detox program... it should be happening around July sometime... which will be the best time for me to do it...

He also mentioned me getting a test called QSART done.... and this will determine if I sympathetic pain disorder or not...luckily at UNMC (University of Nebraska Medical Center) Is where my appointment was can do this test....

Also I made the decision to cancel any plans of taking classes so for this summer I can take care of myself and hopefully get myself problem under control... and take some time off so I can recover and hopefully breath easily for awhile....

And to all of just because I am a 22 year does not mean I abuse the system.... I do not abuse my medications... I take them as prescribed... YES I did cut the pills up before because I thought it was an okay thing to do but now that I know it isn't that will never happen again... I do not and have not went doctor shopping or  gotten doctors to fill multiple prescriptions for me.... I am very honest and strong willed young man... I realized that when that stuff begins to happen then you have serious problems....

I know I either need to be off them or be on a fraction of the amount I am on currently so I am doing what is necessary this summer to make it happen....

Also I know you people have no reason to believe a word I say but I am speaking the truth and the sometimes why my posts my seem confusing is because it has been three years of basically me getting thrown from doctor to doctor and it is hard to keep track of exactly what happens each time....

Please give me the benefit of the doubt... I am not an emotional person and I cried for about a hour and half on the way home just because it was one of the hardest doctors appointments I have ever been to... I realize I need to try and save my life and so I am going to this summer with this detox program...

thanks for your replies and godbless... all of you for helping me.... honestly without hearing from all of you I would not have agreed to this detox program.... I am scared sad and probably had one of the worst days of my life but I think it is a step in the right direction...

[Red931]

It sounds like you have finally found a doctor that will give you the help that you need.

You must understand that we are all very experienced here with having to take pain medication and most of us have had to take them for very long periods of time. We are all very familiar with doctor's practices with prescribing and dosing these meds.

When you posted that you went Cold Turkey for that last six days that caused most of us to question the validity of your situation because you had posted for two days that you were taking 120 to 160 mgs. of Oxycontin a day.

We are all here to help each other but alot of us look at these posts closely as there are people that come on here everyday and try to learn ways to use these drugs illegaly by asking people like us questions because they are not sure if they will kill themselves or not if they go further than whatever stupid things they are currently doing with them.

You must try to be clear with us and then there will be no misunderstandings. We are sorry that you are going through this terrible time and hope that you stick around and keep us updated with your progress. If you are going to try to control your pain without medication first I am sure there are methods that some of use that will help you.

Good Luck to you my friend.

[rbaz5732]

Wow I have reposted this so many times I have never abused seeing doctors and or taking the medications.... I take them as prescribed... I am sorry my case seemed suspicious but I truly am a person who wants to get off oxycontin and be able to handle my pain differently.... that is what this program will do....... Sooon I will find out about the program and hopefully begin within a month or two....
Thanks for your posts.... I filled my profile out more so you will quit thinking I am a person who is lying to you.........

[rbaz5732]

Everyone.... I am having a absolutely terrible day.... yesterday was tough realizing that I needed to do this detox program.... but now I know thats what will help.... but this morning I woke up to phone call from my best friend since 6th grade telling me I was the worst person in the world.... and he could care less if I was dead or alive.... I just cannot believe all this stuff is hitting me at once.... its soo hard to deal with... I dont cry and I have been all morning...

[Tuckamore]

Hi Rbaz,

I apologize if some of us jumped to conclusions. This community is normally supportive, caring and informational. However we "see" so many different ppl on this forum that sometimes if can be difficult to determine who is in true pain and need from those that are not. You weren't very clear in your initial posts. Now that you have clarified some statements it makes more sense and in my opinion "rings true."

First let me say that your new physician sounds like a gem. From the information you provided regarding your appointment it appears that he is concerned for you and did a good job of listening. It is a brave step to go into the program that he recommended. I'm sure it won't be a piece of cake but with your determination I have no doubt you will make it. I think that is wise decision that you do not attend summer school but rather concentrate on your health and well being, good choice.

In regards to your long time friend, you know we all say things that we are sorry for later. Things we should not have said and that are often provoked by a misunderstanding. I hear your pain and despair but give it some time and if he is a true friend the two of you will patch things up. Reach out to others for support for right now. Don't forget us, we are here to listen and offer support to the best of our ability.

Hang in there. There is hope and light at the end of the tunnel. Don't let cruel words from your friend distract you from the goals you know you must achieve. Relationships have a way of working themselves out if they were solid to begin with. We'll be thinking of you and watching for your updates.
Take Care, Tuck

[Red931]

Please read my last post again. I was simply explaining to you why some of us were suspicious. No where in my post do I accuse you of abusing your doctors or your medication and I actually invite you to stay around the forum as the misunderstanding was cleared up.

Take a couple of deep breaths and try to relax. You are obviously very upset and need to calm down. If you stay stressed it will only make things worse.

[sandee1818]

Hi,
  I am late to the discussion here but Tuck and Red have been honest and up front with you about this community. We will and want to support those in true need of support but as they have said sometimes we do get those who join the community to find out how to obtain or abuse pain management medications.
We certainly do not want to scare off those who really need support and even those who just needs a friend to understand what they are going through. I have read your post and I can certainly understand why they were a little cautious with giving advice. I am glad you have cleared the air and I want you to know we welcome you here and will do all we can to help you and support you. I only ask that when you do post make your questions clear so that no one will assume your only using the community for ill gains.
I do hope you will stay and keep us updated on your progress and to ask any questions you may have along the way.
Your very young and if you have to take pain meds for the rest of your life then your off on the wrong foot. When someone has to take these kinds of meds for that lenghth of time it is best to start low and stay as low as possible with the dosage so that you will not be left with no pain management as far as medications. There is a cut off point with these meds, they will not prescribe over this point and that leaves the Pt with no where to turn and I do not want to see this happen with you.
Good luck and please keep us updated and let us know how you are:)

[rbaz5732]

I understand being in this community and having people taking the time to read my posts is a huge deal. I obviously am not going to sit here and try to keep convincing you that I am speaking the truth here.... My gosh.... I was absolutely flattered and it made my day when I was finally able to speak with someone about my problems after my good friend died... I have not spoken with anyone since his death....... So the fact that all of you keep trying to stereotype me as a person that is on here wondering how to get tons more oxycontin....NO ...I have never said that.... every single one of my questions dealt with asking what can I do to get off the oxys and stilll maintain a quality of life where I either dont have to be in terrible pain everyday........

When there were questions of my validity in this community I answered the questions and cleared the air........ if for some reason you all want me to leave this community and website... I will delete my profile and close my questions...... you all are taking this way too far.... I understand there are people that come through that try to get info on how to illlegally get/take or do things with oxys..... I know .... I dont know what else I have to do to prove that I am just asking for help...........

I have never spoke harshly towards anyone .... I may have mis spoke but corrected myself....

this is really turning quick from this website being a great thing and me really getting help and some therapy out of this ... to people saying I am just trying to do bad things.......... for every other day you turned my day around by reading your posts... and made me feel tons better..... but now you make me feel like im being interrogated and I have done wrong....

if you dont want to help me and you think im up to no good... tell me and I will leave
but I just told you that in july I am doing detox ... I was hoping to have this still up so I could tell you all about that experience but if you want me to leave say the word.... im tired of being treated badly for no reason........

[rbaz5732]

I just want support from you people that I cant find anywhere around me here... and especially when the detox program starts I will need help...... please dont write me off for being some sort of a problem............

[nick30]

You don't need to convince anyone anymore. Everyone has accepted fault where neccessary. You don't need to prove anything, hopefully you still feel welcome enough to be able to find some benefit from visiting this site.
The longer you read these posts, the more you will understand how these situations occur. It is very unfortunate(and i've done it myself in the past)but sometimes human beings do jump to conclusions.
As i said, you've really got nothing to prove, you weren't at fault. Now that you are going through a detox or reduction in medication it may prove more important than ever to rely on alternatives to the meds. It really is unfortunate that your Dr's put you on such doses so early in life. This may affect the tolerance levels that your body may have built up.
Even with medication, most of us on this site are still in significant pain most of the time. There are no easy solutions for the majority of us. But by helping each other, both with ideas and support, we all muddle our way through it as best we can.
Hope you decide to stick around.

Nick.

[Tuckamore]

I'll echo what Red said a few posts ago, read the last few posts. If this is not support of and for you than I don't know what you are looking for. No one is "interrogating" you.

I and than Sandee, explained the responses to your initial posts. And Nick's last post explaining us,  "Even with medication, most of us on this site are still in significant pain most of the time. There are no easy solutions for the majority of us. But by helping each other, both with ideas and support, we all muddle our way through it as best we can."

I've lived with pain almost longer than you have been alive. It is no treat! This forum can offer you support, information, respect for your pain and a place to vent. It's your choice at this point if you want to be a responsible member.  

Peace, Tuck

[sandee1818]

I am sorry that you mistook my post. I only wanted to say that you are welcome here and that the events that took place was just a misunderstanding and unfortunately that will happen sometimes.
Tuckamore and I both want to make sure that everyone here gets the support they need but still keep the community as a safe place for those in pain to come without dealing with people trying to use the members for information on how to use, abuse or obtain pain medications. I am NOT saying you are doing this I am only explaining that sometimes we do get these kinds of members here and with the misconception of your post some assumed you were one of these members.
We clearly see you want help and support and we will provide that the best that we can.
I hope this clears up the matter and you understand why misconceptions were made and feel welcome to the community.

[Red931]

You have to realize at this point that there are four of us on here explaining the same thing to you. You are never going to progress here if you keep going back and forth with this issue. Please UNDERSTAND why it was necessary to give you the information that we gave you and let's move foward.

You are most likely having the intense emotions due to withdrawl. You are coming off a very. very high dosage. I think that even a 5 mg. decrease in dosage every two weeks would give you some withdrawl symptoms at the dosage that you are currently were taking.

Has the doctor that you just visited given you a weaning plan or are you going to wait until July? The fact that you went CT on such a large dose over a six day period probably has your body and mind upside down.

Again, I want to ask you to take some deep breaths and  forget about all of this other stuff and try to tell us exactly what is going on right now such as your current dosage, withdrawl symptoms, and pain level so that we can all try to help you.

[Mollyrae]

Hi rbaz:

I'm sorry that you feel the need to defend yourself. You shouldn't. I do know that with the amount of Medication you're on will alter the way one thinks. Any opiate alters our thought process. My emotions are a great deal higher than they use to be. I feel that you are taking much of what good has been said and turning it around. We are NOT condemning you in the least and Red was correct in saying that your emotions are most likely very high right now.

You must understand that there are ppl that come to MH with their emotional stories only to find that they were abusing medications and looking for ways to beat the system. Thinking that in some disturbed way, we could "fix" their situation or add to their abusive behavior. With your story and the conflicts with it, some of us saw a red flag and questioned your validity. Please don't take what we have said and turn it to negativity. That is not the goal.

I hope that the New Doctors that you have found can make you healthy. It sounds like your on the right path and I am very happy that you're going to take the summer off to address your health. Also, please know that we are here for you. I think you have gotten the wrong impression from the Pain Forum.....We are very understanding members.

Please take care and good luck with it all.

Mollyrae

[rbaz5732]

I am sorry but I felt it was necessary to show that raw emotion in that last post to show you how scared I am and how this medhelp has been amazing ....I have learned a lot and this is going to help me be a drug free person....

I did receive many personal messages from members telling me not to worry about the people that are assuming I am just up to no good.... Believe it or not I am trying to be better and fix my situation....

I was sick and and tired of getting post after post that said that I said something that wasn't right or you were questioning my intentions ... when you said I maybe just a person who is here for a little bit than gone.... they said this because my profile wasnt filled out..... guess what my profile is... and I loaded up a picture of my shinning face for you.... so this is me....

[rbaz5732]

Now to the new info:
From the doctors office... he said I was stupid for trying to quit on my own... he said you felt like **** for probably a week didnt you? I said yes... he said well the only way to quit is doing my program that I am the director of... where you can to addiction specialists as well as psychologist..... The doctor said just take the medication till july and try and have not a worry in the world.... because he told me to not take classes this summer... so I am not taking classes....
Basically I am on taking two 60mgs pills a day.... plus he added a prescription strength anti-inflammatory.... called Etodolac... 400mg X2 per day

The doctor basically said I have been mis diagnosed for so long that it is possible we wont know what it is that my condition is.... but all we can do ... is bring me down off my pain medication and try and start from the beginning with no pain meds... and then if during the program I show such bad effects that I need it... then he will prescribe a very small controlled dose to only treat the acute pain that I have....  not the chronic pain...... and for the chronic pain I will learn different way to handle it without medication through this program....  So all I need now is to make it to that point when the detox program starts.......

He said dont try and taper anything just take the medication....

Also have any of you heard of a QSART test?????
the doctor said it will show if I have sympathetic pain disorder......
He said he wants me to decide if I should get it... money is not an worry... but he said no matter what we find from this test it wont change anything... we will still head to the detox program.....

[BOK2Bjan]

Hi, I'm new to the discussion, but have read the entire thing - except of course the private messages you spoke of.  I wasn't able to find all of the accusatory remarks you were offended by.  However, I can empathize with your having read that sentiment into the posts you received ; when you're feeling uncomfortable with what you're currently doing, it's easy to misunderstand other people's attitudes.  Perhaps you're not used to people being this supportive?  You obviously were able to see that your dose was too high - as you said - that's why you turned to the forum for help.  Are there people in your life who are being accusatory about it?  Like your friend?  Perhaps that added to your assumption that, while the people here were merely explaining why you were being questioned, you felt you were being judged and accused of wrong doing.  Anyway, from what I have experienced in my short time here, everyone is very supportive, and only ask for honesty - which you have explained you've given.SOOOO -

I wish you the best during your detox, as well as the time leading up to it.  I hope your medical condition is sorted out, and a treatment if needed is found that helps.  I would like to ask about your friend.  Have you reconciled?  And you say you also had a friend die recently?  I know how hard that is.  My sympathies are with you.  Good luck with finals.  Boy - that's got to be tough!

Blessings, Jan

[rbaz5732]

Hey everyone....
Sorry I havent been around lately.. I just finished up on finals weeks.... I think it went fairly well.. luckily I just joined a new group of people at the college and it is people that have disabilities... this allows me to have more time on tests as well as notes takers and it seems like that professors take it easier on you.... needless to say I was given a full extra hour on every exam so that is was good and I am finished with that and now I can focus on fixing me....

No my friend and I have not talked..... he said he never wanted to talk to me again.... he said if I tried to call him he would call the cell phone company and have them block my number... I don't have a clue why he is so mad at me.. I am going to need all the friend I can get during detox... so my parents and the other people that are actually my friends said... let him be... and to focus on my self.... and from the way he talked to me as well as the things he said I don't really want to ever talk to him again.... im sure someday it will come up.... but I will let him call me ... due to how he yelled and cursed at me and told me I was such a bad person..... I am just trying to be selfish and worry about myself for once.....

Yes people have been accusatory towards me and they pretty much have only been negative and never positive... which really *****.... I am right now in really bad place in my life due to everything that has happened....its scary... my best friend yelled and treated me like I was the worst person in the worst and I have no reason for why he did that.......... It just *****...

the friend that I lost was the only person that helped me... he was the only person who showed that he cared about me and he and I were best friends since he had a pain problem too... he and I had a connection... it was like I was his son...regardless I know that he is pain free now.... so I hope that he is doing a lot better now.......

Thanks to everyone for being so supportive a lot of the reason for me freaking out is because... I was under so much stress for finals this past week... but I have been talking to my good friends and they all seem supportive of my detoxing and they said they will come visit me during the week and pick me up on the weekends... because I think this program allows this.... so I am very glad that I have more than one friend I can count on... but needless to say I will never believe or understand why my friend did that to me....

I know I seem hard on the outside.. and I apologize for being mean to anyone... but I have prayed for every single one of you... because you have helped me soo much.... thanks and I hope that you all are doing well... Godbless you all...

[BOK2Bjan]

I'm glad finals are through.  My son and daughter (KState) just finished today.  I'd like you to read your last post and notice the comments you made about your friends - as well as those in the forum and any you associate with.  In the same post, you mentioned that everyone is negative - no one is supportive.  You say, your friend was terrible to you for no reason, but your family, who are your real friends are supportive.  Then that the friend who died was the only one who ever supported and cared about you.  Then you said that you had many friends who supported you and that this program allows for contact with them on the weekends.  Then you mention everyone in the forum has been supportive as well.

I mention this not to criticize, but to help.  I'd just ask that you look at it and notice that your mind is jumping from one thought and feeling to another opposite one.  You have conflicting feelings that need sorting out.  I don't know you, so I couldn't know how you are in your everyday life.  But I wonder if you sometimes push people away by assuming they won't be supportive - in order to protect you from being disappointed and hurt in case they aren't supportive.  Could that be?  We all have to take honest looks at ourselves - I know I have - and it can be hard.  But it can be very helpful too.

Blessings, Jan

[nick30]

Or maybe your friends are trying to be supportive but don't understand how is the best way to do so.
well picked up on Jan

Nick.

[ChronicPain1]

A little late on the comment, but that amount after 2 years isn't that unheard of. I was on 180mg of Morphine after 2 years because of tolerance issues.

[rbaz5732]

hello again sorry it has been so long I have been very busy... To be quite honest I keep my pain problems to myself... for one reason is because since I am in college people have stolen a lot of my meds before... I am a very hard person to trust anyone...

I realize that YES I did contradict myself... to be honest ... The only person I talked to about my problems before was my friend who died and my best friend.... Then after my friend died I started to turn to more people because I had so many problems...Then when my best friend totally turned on me I decided that I needed to talk to a few of my other friends about what I am doing as far as the pain detox program and I let them know that I need more and more help... just because I am so scared.... I think that is the main reason that I dont want to tell anyone about it... I honestly feel embarrassed that my pain problem has progressed to this point and I haven't really taken care of a long term solution I have just been on meds to solve it short term.,...

I have not had a moment to think about everything until now ... after I got finished with my finals.... Thats when I decided that I need to bring more  of my friends in on the whole thing so that I will be okay...

I am trying to figure everything out but that is easier said than done... I think the pain detox program is what I need to clear my head... so we will just hope that I can make that program work...

But yes you hit it on the head.. I have not trusted many people with telling them about my pain problem... and yes I did contradict myself... but I am trying my best to figure things out.... and yes I am looking to other places to get more support and this forum is one place where I have gotten more advice and I truly appreciate it... Thanks for pointing this all out I am trying my best... thats all I can do

[nick30]

don't worry too much about all this. I was in a lot of pain at your age and i also had a lot of problems admitting that it was getting to me etc.
I found it virtually impossible to talk to anyone about it so you are already doing better than i was.

[rbaz5732]

Thanks Nick it has been hard going though.... the time when you actually have to admit that you need help and tell your closet friends about it... is very very tough.... after my doctors appointment ... when he told me about doing this pain detox program.... I cried a lot just cause it is very tough thing to take.... its just a tough situation ....

[rbaz5732]

Well things have been going relatively well... besides the fact that I am having the worst pain I have ever had... I went and met with people at the multidisciplinary pain management program and I was accepted...  Thanks God for insurance the program is going to cost $20k and they are covering all of it.... it is a four week program and they completely detox me... while teaching other techniques to solving my pain problem... So the next best news is that I decided to do the program... Beginning June 22, 2009 I will start the program...

I also spoke with my doctor and luckily I now have a backup program as well... If the pain program does not work... I have a doctor who said he is willing to work with me on opiate therapy if my pain cannot be mediated through other ways... but my main goal is to totally get off the meds and try the new techniques from this program.... but in my experience it is always good to have a backup plan

Starting June 22, 2009
I will begin posting things that I have learned at the program.. possibly a blog... so I can show all of you what I have been learning while at this program.... im hoping that some of you may find this information helpful with your own pain problems... you all have helped me... so it is my chance to try and lend help from what I learn...

Also this summer I will be completing a book that I have been writing that is concerning my pain problem and all that I have went through... it also takes about how to help talk to your family or friends.... and this book has been written in memory of my good friend who passed away a few months ago... he actually inspired me to write it... so I hope that once I am finished I can pass it on to all of you... and that it will help hit home for you... and then you can pass it on to friends and family so they can learn where your feelings come from and how they can deal with you pain problems...........

I hope you all are doing well.... keep your heads up... thanks again for all your help

[Dknd4v]

good for you. I will look forward to your posts as i have been readin up on them n folowing them. I am also a chronic pain patient and am glad u are doing what u need to do. PM me anytime if u need some advice or want to chat,.

[BOK2Bjan]

Hi again and congrats on your decision to detox.  At your age, I think it's a good idea.  With tolerance being what it is, it's a tough place to be, when you're already on high dose opiates for pain when still young.  You'll want a clear head and an energetic spirit to start a career, family, and life goals.  My advice at this point is to be sure to give yourself time to adjust to any new treatment modality after detoxing before you put up a white flag.  Opiates cause our nerves to be hyper-responsive and pain can be worse when you detox than when you went on them.  It takes time, sometimes quite a bit of it, before your body starts to respond in a normal way.  The months after detox will be the hardest because any program that is started will take a while to work, and your body will still be wanting the drug to calm its hyper-excited cells - the perfect atmosphere for taking the doctor up on his "back-up plan".  

Although it's nice to have a back up plan, it's sometimes not helpful for changing difficult coping patterns.  When you know you've got another choice, you don't give the program you're on enough of a chance.  It's like marriage.  When you always tell yourself (and even your spouse) that you can "always get a divorce if things don't go well", you won't try hard during the rough spots.  You've got to commit for the long haul, so to speak.  I know pain and illness are different, but the principle still applies.  Be sure to give it a good try - because it WILL BE DIFFICULT.  You can Plan on It!!

Right now, before you go into the treatment, think of all the negative things about being on the meds.  Anything you can think of.  Then write them down, numbered, and save it.  Then when things get tough, you can look at it and remember.

Remember - I'm on opiates, so I'm not being critical of their use - not at all.  I think they're often under used.  But when so young, with your whole life ahead of you, you want to at least give this opportunity the best possibility for success that you can.  I've thought about it myself, but then get hit with the reality of the intense pain and the reality that my diseases are progressing, not improving, and I back down.  But I'm 55, and my children are 18 and 20, so it's a bit different for me.

I wish you only success, and I'm glad you're planning to stay in touch with us during and after your program.  I so hope there is something that will help enough with your pain to allow you to live opiate free.  But if after giving it a long enough try, you just can't do it - then just remember - you're not a failure - you might even be able to try again.  Your mind and spirit must be strong going in, so I send blessings and encouragement your way.

Blessings, Jan

[Tuckamore]

Hi Again,

It is so good to hear from you and I am very glad that you are keeping in touch. It sounds like you have made a lot of progress since your initial post.

I will be thinking about you as you enter the PM program to clear yourself of opiates. Be proud of yourself for having such strength and courage. And how wonderful that if needed they will still prescribe and not leave you "out there."

I will look forward to your continued updates. Best of luck and don't forget us. We are always here for you.

Peace, Tuck

[rbaz5732]

The good news is I am one week clean from taking any pain medications.... not even Tylenol... The multi-disciplinary Chronic Pain Program I attended was at UNMC (University of Nebraska Medical Center) If you or a loved one has a problem with chronic pain I would highly suggest this... The class size is a max of 6 at a time for a four week period....where you can go home at night or to the place they have you living.... also you are free on the weekends....The program has been going for approximately 38 years.... and is a very good program.... coming off oxy ***** ... there is no way around it.... but they do a 3-4 week taper with methadone...
I found the program to be very interesting and helpful.... you will receive daily one on ones with PT , Psychology, as well as nursing....
Tapering yourself off Oxy is not easy but it can be done....  but yes it is dangerous... for all of you who have done this I commend you but also think you should be consulting with a doctor throughout the entire period almost daily... the body definitely revolts...
I graduated and am one week clean and I feel better than ever and still have the same pain that I always have had....I experienced a slight reduction but they teach you to control those pain behaviors better and better..... if you have any questions about this program please message me personally and I will send you in the correct direction to get off the narcotics... we also had a lady come off fentyl pathes..... If you have any questions please ask....I would rate the program 9/10 but probably 10/10 as time goes on....
Once again one week CLEAN!!! I feel great and finally have some energy back.....
-Rick

[rbaz5732]

They have had numerous people come into the program on crutches in wheel chairs....braces that have their leg fixed .... and these people have finished the program >> walking out on their own power.... the program is very intensive... last for approx one month... but the typical day is .... Stretching Exercise @ 8 am then ICE.... Then a group session.... then a one on one Psychology experience 3 times a week... lunch is provided then you go back for a group session.... then do some form of PT in the afternoon.... then Relaxation 2-3 times a week... withdrawls suck but I feel so much better now even with the pain still.... and I know that sounds crazy but they teach you to deal with the pain....... feel free to ask any questions.... I would love to help someone make the transformation that I did.... It is such a hard first step... but when you are Graduated... you are not just letting life live you... or having your pain manage you.... you actually are living life and controlling the pain.....
Sorry for no posts during the program.... I figured I should worry about ME and get myself through it then share the amazing news with you all....

-Rick

[Babs1469]

Hey there, I have been following the posts all along but I didn't respond because It seemed as if everything I wanted to say was being said and for a while it got a little intense, I just wanted to tell you that I'm really proud of you and you should be so so so proud of yourself. You set a goal and achieved it, and what a goal it was you went from such an astonishingly high dose of an opiate to managing your pain without the use of any drugs. Good for you!!! We all need different treatments but we all need the same support and I'm so glad you found it. Best of luck maintaining your new lifestyle. Be happy.

Babs