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1157044 tn?1318300124

Finally needed to go cold turkey...

I was forced to make the decision to finish my getting off the remaining fentanyl patch dosage I was on (75mci/hr ) and morphine sulfate (60 mgs/daily) cold turkey as of last Tuesday , February 2nd .

This after my last taper beginning the Monday of the week before which lowered the fentanyl patch from 100  mci/hr to the 75mci/hr.

I took the fentanyl patch off 5:30 that evening and had my last morphine sulfate dose that a.m.

My multiple sclerosis could not handle any further extended abuse of morphine tapers.

I was admitted to the hospital in order to do this.  I was admitted Tuesday afternoon and discharged that Thursday afternoon.

I was seen by a rehabilitation doctor and he, although shocked to hear I wanted to get of the remaining morphine cold turkey, respected and understood my reasons for needing to do so.

My MS acts up when my body withdrawals from any drug so when he suggested suboxone to help me through it I agreed but I needed to be on a plan that would offer the least period of time of withdrawal.   The rehabilitation doctor also tried to give me the best plan to work with under those circumstances.

This was an eight day taper on the suboxone beginning Thursday, February 4th, the day I was released from the hospital.

This taper would have ended this a.m.   But since I knew I was likely to have additional days of withdrawal from this drug I decided not to take the last two small doses of last night and this a.m.

Not that I truly am trying to be a glutton for punishment – but I have not really been able to live any type of life while this has been going on and my MS only further weakens me each week this continues.

I started experiencing much more pain again as of Tuesday afternoon.   At this point it is hard to determine whether this pain is morphine related or not (or withdrawal related or not).    I do not want to get on any other medications until I know how much pain I really have –

So needless to say this process is killing me – in a matter of speaking – course it does feel like I am dying, although I know I am not.

I made a call the rehabilitation doctor this a.m. and left him a voicemail as to how I was doing.   Although it is not like he can really help me with the situation that I have.

Emotions I felt that were taking me over for so long seemed to truly just stop Sunday and prior to sometime either Tuesday afternoon or yesterday I have doubted that too.

Yesterday I found myself in such an emotional rollercoaster of moods that I could not calm I thought I would never be the same.

Physical cravings have been making me near crazy anyway for days and now it seems my MS is turning the cravings into a near type of pain.

Today, I feel physically horrible, including feeling sick again, my pain is not tolerable, my brain barely feels less than a struggle to function and I honestly fear when this will end.   To top that off I noticed I began to feel lightheaded.  

Despite how horrible I feel I cannot rest of course.

Can anyone give me some true hope that I can get through this with any life left?     Any part of myself left?    I fear I won’t even feel like the same person I was at times too.

I know my situation with having MS and the withdrawal from these drugs makes my situation a bit unique – My neurologist really doesn’t know what to think for sure either.   I don’t think he’s ever been exposed to an MS patient actually getting off opoids prescribed to them.

I feel generally I am treated like my getting off the morphine whether by taper or now even doing it via cold turkey is really not that big of a deal – at least by the neurology office and my primary doctor’s office.

I know I am a strong person or at least was.   I feel I am treated by those that take care of me that I am facing and going through less than I am.

Okay I guess that last part was a bit of venting….

Missing_Me
4 Responses
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1157044 tn?1318300124
Thanks for all the support.

I am now on day 11 since stopping the morphine and the fentanyl patch.  I haven't taken the suboxone since Wenesday a.m. and I have been in constant intolerable pain since.

I somehow managed to get myself to my lidocaine infusion yesterday afternoon.  I can have these once a week.   But as I feared.   Alone it didn't even give me enough relief to believe I could tolerate the drive back home.  I guess I knew I could - but it is so hard to do.

I know my pain is much better managed when I am moving.    Running actually would take my pain away when nothing else worked.   But I was much stronger then.   Now, my MS has taken a huge step backwards.  

Walking was a bit scary yesterday.   It is not easy for me today, but I actually believe it may be better.   I know the lidocaine, oddly, does more for me than just help manage my pain.

I have tried many options to control my pain now for years.  I don't know what I will do now and I am wrestling with that.  I know I have to be certain the pain I have still isn't at levels exagarrated by the withdrawal.   This is an impossible period of time.

The rehab doctor that helped me get off the last of the morphine and fentanyl patch told me he believed he presribed enough of a suboxone taper I shouldn't notice much more withdrawal from the fentanyl - or something like that.  I was in pretty bad shape when I listened to the message.

TurningaNewleaf-I will email you.   Thank you for posting.  

Missing_Me
Helpful - 0
1182133 tn?1266851531
HI Missing.... I just came off the fentanyl patch 23 days ago.  I hope I can help you.  Please private message me if you like or you can copy/paste this into the Substance Abuse Addiction community.  That is where I got most of my help.  I can tell you what to expect although I don't have MS and I commend you for taking this hard fight for your life back. You can do it !!!  I, did not, have suboxone to use but I did use 1 7.5/750 vicodin every 6 hours.  It was hard, I won't lie.  I can elaborate more if you like.  You can also look through my posts.  Just click on my name and you can see my posts.  If there is anything I can do to help, please ask.  
Helpful - 0
547368 tn?1440541785
You are brave. That may not help you through this but know that we are thinking of you. I have been searching for options for you but as you know you are so unique.

I agree with Mollyrae that you are the only person I know with MS that has decided to go this route. And I also agree, don't be a hero. Although I know the issues you felt were caused by the opiates are more than you want to tolerate. We are here to help as much as we can but I'm afraid our words are not enough for you at this very difficult time. Keep close contact with your physicians.

Our MS Community may be able to offer you more insight. I cannot imagine what you must be going through and once again my heart goes out to you.

Please Take Care,
Tuck
Helpful - 0
535089 tn?1400673519
I have to comend you and quite honestly think you're incredibly strong willed. I cannot fathom what you're enduring all these days...I can only imagine from what I've been through.

I truly hope that you can cope with the MS without the help of opiates. You are the only person that I know of that has been able to do this.

Stay strong and remember...If at some point in your life with MS you need to re-medicate, don't be a hero, take the meds and rest.

All my best to you,
Mollyrae
Helpful - 0
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