PM doc causes me more pain

[Coolio Hernendez]

Yesterday was my monthly app with my PM. I called and cancelled this appoinment and said that i would not be making any other appoinments. The nurse said " good for you". That was cool , i think they know that the meds they give out alot of times do more harm then good.

This was the hardest thing i have ever done b ecause i had myself convinced that i needed these meds due to the extreme damage done from 20 years of untreated Lymes disease......but i really just liked the high.....

So thats it i'm done and maybe i'm wrong and maybe i'm right.......I quess we will see.

PS: I do understand that alot of people on here really do need the meds and they are not abusing the way i was.

[Tuckamore]

Hi Coolio,
First let me say that I am proud of you for making the decision to get sober. I am very surprised that you have abused the system to obtain a high. I mean no disrespect nor am I judging you but it is the few that hurt the many such as I. I went through 15 years of pure heck (there are much stronger words to describe what I went through but I won't use them here) before I was properly diagnosed and treated. I obtain no "high" from my pain meds. I feel anger towards those that abuse the system and betrayed when someone poses as a CP victim and they are not. I should say no more.

I don't know what opiates you were on but I am assuming you will now go through withdrawal. The substance abuse forum will be more helpful for you in your current  situation.  Tuck

[Coolio Hernendez]

Well Tuck maybe i didnt make myself clear.

I do have horrible pain issues due to the Lymes and i was perscribed percocet by doctors.
I just would always do more then i was perscribed and i would run out (abuse) and yes i did get a high from it. The Lymes blood test do not lie and if you ever saw me try to stand up you would see that i'm not faking anything.
If i am honest with myself then i have to say that there is probly a better way for me to handle the pain. I can not deal with narcotics the right way.

I think that is a good thing that i'm doing. So...you got your opinion and thats cool......but im really not that much diffrent then you...

[Tuckamore]

No Coolio, you didn't make yourself clear and maybe I should have done a little more investigating b-4 I responded. I take ppl at what they say. But there are a lot of things I don't understand in this world.

I never doubt someone who claims to have pain, never. Because I was doubted for so many years. And I am very careful not to judge. I am in no position to judge anyone. I am being honest when I say that pain meds have never made me "high." I have had some IV medications that have made me "loopy," I guess you can call it high but it wasn't fun and oral medications do not. My physicians tell me that ppl that have true pain do not get high. What do I know??  

But yes Cooloi, we are very different as I can no longer walk without pain medication and I would have great difficultly even sitting. I could never fool myself into believing that I could function without the medication.

You stated you have extreme damage from the lyme's disease "but I really just liked the high." So again I don't understand BUT I genuinely wish you well. I hope you are able to be without medication and still have a functional life. But I hope you are successful in your quest to function without narcotic's. Everyone is different. Take care and good Luck, Tuck

[Coolio Hernendez]

Maybe you can help me Tuckamore.....Because i really wish that i could just use the pain meds the right way. I will deff have alot of problems not taking them but i think i have more when i do take them.

Question : Can a person really take narcotic meds and after a couple years still only take the amount perscribed ?

It seems that my tolerance would go up more then my perscription.

[sandee1818]

By Coolio Hernendez
Question : Can a person really take narcotic meds and after a couple years still only take the amount prescribed ?

It seems that my tolerance would go up more then my prescription.

******************
Coolio ,
The answer to your question is yes. Chronic pain Pt's do take their meds as prescribed and although due to tolerance issues they do need a different level from time to time pain Pt's take their meds as they are prescribed. Now I will possibly take an extra pill on bad days but then on the good days I do not need as much so it evens out and I have discussed this with my Dr and he is fine with it.
A chronic pain pt would NEVER take more of their meds as you describe because that would leave them without pain medication for a time and that is not possible for us to do. We pain Pt's rely on our medications to function and without them we can not so we will not take more than we are prescribed  because if we do we will not be able to function. Just as a diabetes ppt could not function without their insulin.
You really need to understand why CP Pt's would be so angry at you, we go through a lot just to be treated and respected by the medical professionals and when you do as you have you hinder our treatment greatly and you make it extremely difficult for the Dr to trust those who deserve and have earned it. I do understand you have pain but when you say you have done without just to get high then it leads me to believe that you could survive without the pain medications as you obviously have when you abused yours and that lead to you having to do without until you could get another prescription.

I would suggest you get an appointment with a addiction specialist, you can find a lot who practice pain management too. Be honest with them because they will know eventually if not right away if your not and it will only hurt you. Tell them you have a problem with narcotics but you need pain control and they will help you find what is right for you. I have known for sometime now that you have had a problem and I wanted to help but with issues like this one needs to tread lightly. Now that you have been honest I applaud you for making that step and realizing you have a problem. I will however be more open with you about this and do everything I can to help you.
I know you know my opinion about those who abuse Dr's to get these medications and how angry it makes me when I know the ripple effect it will cause on the ones who truly need help with their pain. I can not express to you enough to try and understand that it is a very big problem and when you do the things you have done you really add to the problems chronic pain Pt's face everyday.

My intention is not to put you down but to help you understand.  Your pain is just as important as anyone elses and you do need help controlling it, BUT you need to find the right way to do this and not go back to the self medicating approach. There are a lot of options for you , you just have to be willing to find out what is right for you and stick to it.
I as well as everyone here am glad you did see you were doing wrong and are willing to change, this takes willpower and support and though I can't help you with the willpower I can help with support and will continue to help you. Please keep us posted and know we are here to help.

[Coolio Hernendez]

Thank you so much for your kind words.
I do apologize to the real pain pt's like you for what i was doing.

I do have pain but i can deff get by without strong narcotics. I used the blood tests and the obvious Lymes damage as a crutch and a way to justify what i was doing.

Because i know now that real pain pt's use their meds ,for the most part as perscribed ....that tells me for sure that i should not be a cronic pain pt being treated with narcotics.

I dont know what else to say other then....I am aware of my problem.....I am 100% into being honest with everyone (including doctors and wife)...I will not use narcotics meds in such a way again...

Believe it or not i really feel bad about what i've done and i think about the real pain pt's and i think that will help me not do this again. I would never want to think that i was causing a person in REAL pain to be thought of as a junkie...

I know some people are gonna be harsh with me on this part of the forum.....but im ok with that...I deserve it...................I will remeber it when if i ever get the urge to go get a doctor to give me strong narcotic med's that i really shouldnt do....

I'm gonna keep in touch....