Aa
Pain med abuse
This is my first post. I could not figure out how to get a post in the Dr. forum, so I'll post here and try to get some advice.
This is not about me, it's about my neighbor. (really.) She has been on pain meds for about 2.5 years. Had knee surgery, hurt her arm. She's 5"'7" 100lbs, and bones like glass. Living off workman's comp and doing anything to keep that going, had all the surgeries etc. Also just recently diagnoised Hypo Manic.
Three weeks ago she took a full script of hydrocodone and ambien because she couldn't sleep. Wasn't trying to kill herself, just trying to get sleep and get high. Spent 2 days in ICU and was sent home.
Her doctor told her she couldn't write for her anymore after what happened.
Now she tells me this same doctor sent her to a pain management clinic about 70 miles from here and the pain doc now has her on OXYcodone and morphine for sleep. She told me the doctor knows she took two full scripts of narcotics and was in the hospital.
I feel I am being lied to on a grand scale! Would a pain management doctor really take her to another level of meds after she was in the hospital for serious abuse?
She is a serious drug seeker. I have never seen her in what I would call very bad pain. I just don't believe a word and can't prove I am being lied too. HELP!
You can say this is not my problem, but we are friends. Walk dogs together and other things. I was married to a bi-polar and her behavior is so like his. Should I call her out on all her lies? Am I being lied to? Would a pain doctor really write these meds with her history?
This is not about me, it's about my neighbor. (really.) She has been on pain meds for about 2.5 years. Had knee surgery, hurt her arm. She's 5"'7" 100lbs, and bones like glass. Living off workman's comp and doing anything to keep that going, had all the surgeries etc. Also just recently diagnoised Hypo Manic.
Three weeks ago she took a full script of hydrocodone and ambien because she couldn't sleep. Wasn't trying to kill herself, just trying to get sleep and get high. Spent 2 days in ICU and was sent home.
Her doctor told her she couldn't write for her anymore after what happened.
Now she tells me this same doctor sent her to a pain management clinic about 70 miles from here and the pain doc now has her on OXYcodone and morphine for sleep. She told me the doctor knows she took two full scripts of narcotics and was in the hospital.
I feel I am being lied to on a grand scale! Would a pain management doctor really take her to another level of meds after she was in the hospital for serious abuse?
She is a serious drug seeker. I have never seen her in what I would call very bad pain. I just don't believe a word and can't prove I am being lied too. HELP!
You can say this is not my problem, but we are friends. Walk dogs together and other things. I was married to a bi-polar and her behavior is so like his. Should I call her out on all her lies? Am I being lied to? Would a pain doctor really write these meds with her history?
It is a very good thing indeed that you've severed ties. And you really should read the article in question. I learned about toxic people first hand. And because she was my sister, I had to maintain contact during my mother's life. Once my mother passed, I severed ties. No need to subject ourselves to their misery to our own detriment.
And Jaybay is absolutely correct. Her path is hers and you cannot change anything. In fact, your continued friendship would be, in my personal opinion, enabling her self destructive behavior. Some people are simply determined to destroy themselves and no intervention can help. Sometimes, if you can't make them see reason, you must step back and allow nature to take its course. You tried to help. She would not listen and she never would have. Her path is hers to walk. At this point, all you can do is stay out of her way. She would just attempt to suck you down with her. And blame everyone else but herself.
You've done the right thing. A brave act. I applaud you.
Sara
And Jaybay is absolutely correct. Her path is hers and you cannot change anything. In fact, your continued friendship would be, in my personal opinion, enabling her self destructive behavior. Some people are simply determined to destroy themselves and no intervention can help. Sometimes, if you can't make them see reason, you must step back and allow nature to take its course. You tried to help. She would not listen and she never would have. Her path is hers to walk. At this point, all you can do is stay out of her way. She would just attempt to suck you down with her. And blame everyone else but herself.
You've done the right thing. A brave act. I applaud you.
Sara
You did the right thing by ending the relationship. Maybe this will open up her eyes to see how she is truly acting and will stop the lies. A good life lesson for her. The only thing you can do is say a prayer for her that she gets better and stop the lies.
I am so glad that you were able to end the relationship. I agree that it had turned toxic. In my opinion you are both better off without the other.
I hope you house will sell soon and you can move into your dream home. That will provide even more, actual physical distance so there will be no happenstance run ins.
I think we have all found ourselves in a similar situation. Just be grateful that this is not a relative! Those you cannot select! :)
Take Care,
~Tuck
I hope you house will sell soon and you can move into your dream home. That will provide even more, actual physical distance so there will be no happenstance run ins.
I think we have all found ourselves in a similar situation. Just be grateful that this is not a relative! Those you cannot select! :)
Take Care,
~Tuck
It's so difficult to set boundaries when the people involved are constantly testing and moving those boundaries. I'm very glad you found the strength to step away from your neighbor. Her multitude of problems are hers to deal with. I truly believe there is not one thing you could have done, or could ever do, to change her course. In the end, it's up to her whether she lives or dies and how that might happen. I also don't believe it dehumanizes this woman for you to face the fact that she is toxic to your own life. Yes, she needs help, but until she's ready to ask for it nothing will happen. As so many people already noted, there is no help from the State in these situations. All they can legally do amounts to cleanup after the disaster finally comes. People like this sow the seeds of their own destruction. It's out of your hands, and frankly never was in your hands.
It was long past time for you to protect yourself. You were dragged into and trapped in that nightmare long enough and now you're finally out of it. Congratulations! :-)
It was long past time for you to protect yourself. You were dragged into and trapped in that nightmare long enough and now you're finally out of it. Congratulations! :-)
"So this is how manic drug addicts justify their actions. "
While I understand your need to emotionally distance yourself from those you can't abide, use caution when dehumanizing those who refuse to embrace your concerns for them. In the end, it is wise to know where one's self ends and the rest of the world begins.
There is no trend here that warrants dehumanizing those who would live their lives contrary to what you would have for them.
While I understand your need to emotionally distance yourself from those you can't abide, use caution when dehumanizing those who refuse to embrace your concerns for them. In the end, it is wise to know where one's self ends and the rest of the world begins.
There is no trend here that warrants dehumanizing those who would live their lives contrary to what you would have for them.
I am so glad you feel better now that everything is over. You needed this and I can tell from your post that you do feel better and you need to keep it this way. You can maybe check on her without her knowing about it, just to see how she is doing but you would have to do it with someone you trust so they don't go telling her anything. But maybe it is best to not know anything? I am glad things have worked out for you.
Jamie
Jamie
I want to thank you all for your help and support in this very difficult situation.
Last week during a conversation she told me I could choose not to let someone stress me out! I said "no" if someone is pushing or being a bully toward you it can effect your whole being. She said, "your choice!"
So this is how manic drug addicts justify their actions.
I ended the friendship with a short note to her saying the friendship had run its course.
This was four days ago and I feel so much better, so much lighter and less stressed.
I was telling another friend about all of this and she told me that recently in an O Magazine there was an article on toxic relationships. The doctor who wrote is said to end them no matter who it is or how long the relationship has lasted. Good advice.
Thank you all! I might not have been able to do this without the support from this forum. And it needed to be done! Kim
Last week during a conversation she told me I could choose not to let someone stress me out! I said "no" if someone is pushing or being a bully toward you it can effect your whole being. She said, "your choice!"
So this is how manic drug addicts justify their actions.
I ended the friendship with a short note to her saying the friendship had run its course.
This was four days ago and I feel so much better, so much lighter and less stressed.
I was telling another friend about all of this and she told me that recently in an O Magazine there was an article on toxic relationships. The doctor who wrote is said to end them no matter who it is or how long the relationship has lasted. Good advice.
Thank you all! I might not have been able to do this without the support from this forum. And it needed to be done! Kim
Sometimes that can be a good thing just to read the first post as what you wrote is something I have been thinking about. And with everyone above relating, we've had interesting discussions.
It astounds me that this pain med doctor upped her med's after what she did! I just can't believe this would happen, and I have no prove that it did or how it came to be. Mainly how it came to be is the big question.
It astounds me that this pain med doctor upped her med's after what she did! I just can't believe this would happen, and I have no prove that it did or how it came to be. Mainly how it came to be is the big question.
I have a vey close "friend" who took 60 10mg methadone had his stomach pumped and lived(somehow) after a week in ICU
The very next month the very same PM Dr gave him the same 180 10mg methadone script.
CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The very next month the very same PM Dr gave him the same 180 10mg methadone script.
CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I grew up with a mum that went to the Dr every 2nd almost. I always thought she was attention seeking speically as I got older and she started making me feel bad about being sick. I tested a theory I had with her a fue times after her sending me to school sick a fue time cause she did not beleaive me I pretended to be sick I put on the whole act I felt pathetic but it worked she let me stay home. It like some people have this idea of how sick people act and if you dont act that way your not sick. My 5y gets hyper when he's sick I dont know why he always has. Even when he was in serious resportory distress he was still trying to run around and be nut yet when he's not sick he's the calmest child I have he's happy to sit for hours and just relax. Recently he had a really bad case of toncilitis, but he was only saying his throat was a little sore and he was happy as can be most of the time. I let him go to school thinking it was nothing major then we I did take him to the Dr was surprised that he was so happy still as well.
Back to my mum................because of my mum with Dr's and being treated like a hyperchondract I have avoided seeing a Dr about all my pains etc till recently. I tryed to ignore them or avoid things that cause them but it really did not make me feel better. I dont complain about my pains much and when I do tell people how often I have a headache or migraine I dont think they truly believe me because I carry on as long as possiable. I think I shocked my Dr yesterday as well. I started keeping a record of when I take my med's and what pains I'm having and where and the level of pain as well. I've had a level 8 headache at least 3 times in the last week and been at level 1 most of the day every day this last week the worst day was saturday. Light has been hurting my eye's big time latly it driving me mad. I finally asked for a CT scan just to be sure it's nothing bad happening in my head. The pain is most likly due to a staph infection in my nose but with all my other recent symptoms with memory and dizziness and even my tachycardia I thought it would be wise. I cant find the results out till next week as my Dr only works 3 days a week and today her last day for the week and I have school. the picture look fine me nothing huge in my head but I proff that I have a brain lol the report is being sent to my Dr.
I have had a lot frustration seeing friend that have partner's that work claiming a single parent pension, I've also had friends that centerlink(welfare place name) has just handed them a disability pension for one reason or another and I was denied the pension when I first applied and went on to become basicly agrophobic started treatment once I could afford to and the became a victom of a home invasion and became very depressed and HAD to apply for a disability pension as my partner had to become my carer and the main carer of our kids for short time he also applied for a carers payment. We were granted the income and about a 1y later I was strong enough to tell my partner he could go back to full time work. I've been getting better ever since its now been almost 3 years and I'm doing a Cert 2 in community service work and loving it. If I'd been granted the pension the first time I would have used it to get better just like I did this time and I would have proberly had a job for the first time 5y sooner. I'm very angry about that at time it's so frustrating specially when I see people on a welfare income that really dont care about using for it's intended purpose. I really want to scream when partner people claim a single income and then complain that life's hard it expensive. I never cheated the system in any way and when I use to talk about how hard it was to be partnered and afford everything you need to raise children etc the single people all basicly make you feel like you should have nothing to worry about, so I should shut up. I know life is hard for everyone its not fun at all some times. I still hear people worried about being single and in australia with out welfare system they need to be gald they dont live in america or some where els just as hard with little welfare help.
I had this one girl in class the other day say how hard it was for her to have to organise a baby sitter to look after her child so she can be at school and get her Cert 2 just like me, I wanted to say UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM I'm partnered and my partner works full time I'm the main carer and I have to find a baby sitter or stay home just like her if my kids are sick my partner cant take day's off work every time the kids are sick he'd either loose his job or bring home less money because of it. If was not in a pension I would be even worse off still specially when it come to medication's. Our system is so complicated people here proberly wont understand it fully but simply put once you partner gets a job over certain income you dont get cheeper med's and that income is way less for a couple with kids than a single with kids, like wayyyyyyyyy less. There are so mush more welfare support for single with kids than couple with kid's, personally if a single mum can walk around in nike clothes on welfare while coupled parents struggle to clothe them self after their kids then it seems like something is a little OFF somewhere. So I get the frustration I really do I even feel guilty that I sit here in australia where welfare is better thankfull for that and wishing i could do more people who are sick and cant afford to get help all because of lack of MONEY that is the ultimate frustration. That is often what come to MY mind these days when I hear people complaining about australia's welfare system I want to stand up....slap them....and say get over your self you have it good. I seriously have to hold back my frustration so often about this I have let go of that frustration so often but people seriously dont get how good we have it here.
Back to my mum................because of my mum with Dr's and being treated like a hyperchondract I have avoided seeing a Dr about all my pains etc till recently. I tryed to ignore them or avoid things that cause them but it really did not make me feel better. I dont complain about my pains much and when I do tell people how often I have a headache or migraine I dont think they truly believe me because I carry on as long as possiable. I think I shocked my Dr yesterday as well. I started keeping a record of when I take my med's and what pains I'm having and where and the level of pain as well. I've had a level 8 headache at least 3 times in the last week and been at level 1 most of the day every day this last week the worst day was saturday. Light has been hurting my eye's big time latly it driving me mad. I finally asked for a CT scan just to be sure it's nothing bad happening in my head. The pain is most likly due to a staph infection in my nose but with all my other recent symptoms with memory and dizziness and even my tachycardia I thought it would be wise. I cant find the results out till next week as my Dr only works 3 days a week and today her last day for the week and I have school. the picture look fine me nothing huge in my head but I proff that I have a brain lol the report is being sent to my Dr.
I have had a lot frustration seeing friend that have partner's that work claiming a single parent pension, I've also had friends that centerlink(welfare place name) has just handed them a disability pension for one reason or another and I was denied the pension when I first applied and went on to become basicly agrophobic started treatment once I could afford to and the became a victom of a home invasion and became very depressed and HAD to apply for a disability pension as my partner had to become my carer and the main carer of our kids for short time he also applied for a carers payment. We were granted the income and about a 1y later I was strong enough to tell my partner he could go back to full time work. I've been getting better ever since its now been almost 3 years and I'm doing a Cert 2 in community service work and loving it. If I'd been granted the pension the first time I would have used it to get better just like I did this time and I would have proberly had a job for the first time 5y sooner. I'm very angry about that at time it's so frustrating specially when I see people on a welfare income that really dont care about using for it's intended purpose. I really want to scream when partner people claim a single income and then complain that life's hard it expensive. I never cheated the system in any way and when I use to talk about how hard it was to be partnered and afford everything you need to raise children etc the single people all basicly make you feel like you should have nothing to worry about, so I should shut up. I know life is hard for everyone its not fun at all some times. I still hear people worried about being single and in australia with out welfare system they need to be gald they dont live in america or some where els just as hard with little welfare help.
I had this one girl in class the other day say how hard it was for her to have to organise a baby sitter to look after her child so she can be at school and get her Cert 2 just like me, I wanted to say UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM I'm partnered and my partner works full time I'm the main carer and I have to find a baby sitter or stay home just like her if my kids are sick my partner cant take day's off work every time the kids are sick he'd either loose his job or bring home less money because of it. If was not in a pension I would be even worse off still specially when it come to medication's. Our system is so complicated people here proberly wont understand it fully but simply put once you partner gets a job over certain income you dont get cheeper med's and that income is way less for a couple with kids than a single with kids, like wayyyyyyyyy less. There are so mush more welfare support for single with kids than couple with kid's, personally if a single mum can walk around in nike clothes on welfare while coupled parents struggle to clothe them self after their kids then it seems like something is a little OFF somewhere. So I get the frustration I really do I even feel guilty that I sit here in australia where welfare is better thankfull for that and wishing i could do more people who are sick and cant afford to get help all because of lack of MONEY that is the ultimate frustration. That is often what come to MY mind these days when I hear people complaining about australia's welfare system I want to stand up....slap them....and say get over your self you have it good. I seriously have to hold back my frustration so often about this I have let go of that frustration so often but people seriously dont get how good we have it here.
Well I guess it's clear that there are lots of people out there "working their special magic" on the system!
The sad thing is, their "magic" amounts to lies and manipulations to get what they want, in this case it's med's. And those that really do need it get denied for their honesty.
What get's me is I can't imagine what they must say, or how they learned what would work. Probably trial and error and then doctor seeking became a lifestyle.
Not caring how their actions affect other people has a lot to do with how these addicts work. It's all about them.
This is a classic example: About a year ago the mutual doctor my friend and I share
no longer took my insurance. I had to find a new GP.
When my neighbor has some "trouble" with our mutual doctor, she asked me who my new doctor was and she was going to try seeing him. The kicker is she said, very happily like it was an honor, that she would tell him I referred her to him!!!! YIKES!!!
I told her I would rather she didn't and she was totally insulted! She couldn't understand why I wouldn't want that! Good Lord!!
She does not see her behavior for the manipulation that it is, or see the damage it can cause other people. She just doesn't care to be responsible for her impact.
She thinks it's funny that our GP sent her out of town to a distant pain med clinic. FUNNY!! I don't think so!
And Sunkitty is so right. It is unfair that these people get whatever they want. But remember, they get it by lies and manipulations. And I'm proud to say I wouldn't want to be like that.
There should be a clinic for mentally abused people who ever tried to help my neighbor. I can't anymore and you guys have really helped me see the light! Kim
The sad thing is, their "magic" amounts to lies and manipulations to get what they want, in this case it's med's. And those that really do need it get denied for their honesty.
What get's me is I can't imagine what they must say, or how they learned what would work. Probably trial and error and then doctor seeking became a lifestyle.
Not caring how their actions affect other people has a lot to do with how these addicts work. It's all about them.
This is a classic example: About a year ago the mutual doctor my friend and I share
no longer took my insurance. I had to find a new GP.
When my neighbor has some "trouble" with our mutual doctor, she asked me who my new doctor was and she was going to try seeing him. The kicker is she said, very happily like it was an honor, that she would tell him I referred her to him!!!! YIKES!!!
I told her I would rather she didn't and she was totally insulted! She couldn't understand why I wouldn't want that! Good Lord!!
She does not see her behavior for the manipulation that it is, or see the damage it can cause other people. She just doesn't care to be responsible for her impact.
She thinks it's funny that our GP sent her out of town to a distant pain med clinic. FUNNY!! I don't think so!
And Sunkitty is so right. It is unfair that these people get whatever they want. But remember, they get it by lies and manipulations. And I'm proud to say I wouldn't want to be like that.
There should be a clinic for mentally abused people who ever tried to help my neighbor. I can't anymore and you guys have really helped me see the light! Kim
You know, I have to agree with you guys. This post has become pretty amazing. I was reading through the notes and it appears a lot of us have people in their lives that do things that we just can't believe. I think in my situation, this was my best friend for 20 years. My dad finally had to tell me that I needed to cut ties because I would get so upset. I battle EVERY day to try to go to work and support myself (I'm single) and then I hear from her and she's on this migraine disability (which they also can't prove, she's had mri, ct scans) and I've watched her find five or six new doctors to support her condition. I do know for a fact that her employer was going to fire her, but then she got sick and after a year got approved for disability. I cared deeply for this person but was realizing that she never was concerned at how I was. I would talk with her, she would never ask how I was, she would just tell me about how bad her head hurt, and then she started asking my who my rheumatoid doctor is, and my neck doctor. She all of a sudden now has an issue with her neck, she told me she was having the doctor fill it out for disability. I have rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia, she called me two weeks ago and asked who my doctor was because she's convinced she has fibromyalgia. She's been going to a place in Chicago called the Diamond Clinic for her migraines. She gets admitted and gets medication for approximately seven days. She just told me that she's requesting a pic line because she likes to "feel the rush of the medication" now I have to say that comment about freaked me out. When I was in the hospital two weeks ago with my hernia, my night nurse who I became friends with told me that she has a lot of patients that drug seek that ask her to push the medications in fast so they can feel the rush. When my friend told me that I really wanted to say something but didn't because it wouldn't matter. She's not going to change, she's definitely paving a way to have full time disability. I just think it's unfair that people like that get everything they want, when there are people like us, that have honest illnesses that can't get disability (I haven't tried yet but know I would get turned down) but it just really frustrates me.
So the only thing left for me is to stop taking her occasional calls and just keep taking care of myself.
So the only thing left for me is to stop taking her occasional calls and just keep taking care of myself.
Wow. I so know how you feel about the lies. I have a friend that will lie about anything. I have decided that she does and doesn't even know what she is doing. She will go to Subway and tell you she went McDonald's and still have the Subway cup in her hand... for NO REASON at all. Its even the senseless things that NO ONE care about. If you have something new, she has the newer, bigger, and faster one. If you get hurt, she breaks/sprains her ankle or wrist. I am so very serious. My other friend was the same way and we do not speak anymore. She slept with my husband (before we were married)... and I caught her red handed... and she still denied it. I was done. After a while things got easier, I met new friends and moved on. You can too... We are here for you when you need us.... (Sorry if that sounds like a commercial for insurance... lol)
Good luck! Hang in there! Keep us updated!
Good luck! Hang in there! Keep us updated!
I know what you mean as well ^. My sister is the same. She is calling everyone out on their problems when she has too much of her own.
Unfortunately, there are those out there who truly believe the world revolves around them. I call these people "mirror people". When they view the world, all they see is reflection of themselves. No one and nothing else matters but them. My sister is one.
I have a friend that lie's alot and grew up with a sister that lied and still lies alot as well. My sister can be what i would discribe as narsasistic and since she's been on anti D's for anxiety at work she has been more barable even nice to me which is amazing. When she talks about going off her med's I just want to scream "NO NO NO" but if I dared to tell her she become a nice a person on the med's she would proberly go off them just out of spite. She and my mum cant accept that their personality has impacted my mental health in any way shape or form. I dont blame them for my problems they are mine to over come. But they seriously think they are perfect and love telling me how much my life is not perfect. My sister live in a cluttered pig sty that smells and my mum acts like she the perfect example to live up to. My mum invite you over for craft and spends the whole day in PJ's walking around stressing about every detail and you cant do things with out her concent unless you want to end up being yelled. I highly suspect my mum is OCD and my sister I have NO idea but narasistic personality disorder sure did fit her before she went on her anti D med's. My mum is on Anti D's as well but unless she's diagnoised with OCD and deals with it I dont see her getting 100% better. She just cant accept that OCD is one of my diagnoise let alone entertain the idea that may be why she's struggling to just sit and relax and have fun with her grand kids and me. She get along with my sis and I suspect it's my sister talking my mum out of entertaining the idea of OCD I nearly had her one time. My mum came to me and asked about why I thought she had OCD and then my sister saw her and the time I saw my mum she was back to being mean about my life. My mum was very controlling growing up everything had to be done her way and only her way or she made she you do again and again till you got it right(her way). My sister grew up to be very controling as well but in a far more mean way like my dad who is an alcoholic. I suspect my dad is self medicating with alcohole for the same reason I struggle to live in this world. My dad, my sis and me all have what I call debating issues. I call it debating because it's like we feel every thing has to be debated. I dont know why my dad and sis do it but I can tell you its not fun to listen to and it's not fun to be the one not incontrol of what comes out of my mouth. Before I was put on Luvox I felt like my true personality was a by stander in my head and the debating and obsessing was in control. This made me feel scared that I had multipal personailty disorder, but I dont although if I had talked about this as kid I proberly would have had Dr's convinced I did have multipal personality disorder. It was not till I got to about age 16 that started to realised it was my own voice and personality in my head but I just did not like who i was most of the time yet I could not be the person I felt I truly was inside. I rarly debate with people but I'm still scared of the negative thoughts in my head that want me to debate with people.
mental illness can be so hard to diagnoise correctly and even if you can diagnoise them medicating can be just as hard because medical science is really in it early years of discovering how every thing works in the brain.
mental illness can be so hard to diagnoise correctly and even if you can diagnoise them medicating can be just as hard because medical science is really in it early years of discovering how every thing works in the brain.
Compulsive lieing and attenstion seeking behaviour's can be a symptom of a mental illness. That needs trestment just as much as the illnesses attentions seeking may pretend to have.
Kim Lee,
Reading your posts definitely brings back memories of my former friend. She was a teacher, and was just about to be terminated, and she then got herself admitted to a mental institution. Her husband called me and told me she was catatonic, and he was scared, I told him that one of two things would happen. If she was in need of mental health then that was the best place for her to be, if she was just attention seeking, she wouldn't stay catatonic for very long. Her husband then called me about an hour later and she was trying to sneak out of the door. She went in to the mental facility and she couldn't stand up on her own, within a few hours of realizing where she was, she was walking and going down the hallway trying to get out. She received disability for two years for her headaches, and now she's listing other injuries, neck, fibromyalgia, thinks she has diabetes, and what I've figured out is that her disability will end and she does not want to go to work. My feelings are that she is working the system with so many illnesses that she will be able to get permanent disability from the state. I find it hard because this person was once my very best friend and it's been out of control for years. I had to separate myself because of my own illnesses. So, Kim I really do understand what you are saying, it's really sad to see people work the system. There are so many times where people are very sick and deserve disability and can't get approved, and then there are others that have figured out how to work the system so they can get paid by the state. It's very sad...
Reading your posts definitely brings back memories of my former friend. She was a teacher, and was just about to be terminated, and she then got herself admitted to a mental institution. Her husband called me and told me she was catatonic, and he was scared, I told him that one of two things would happen. If she was in need of mental health then that was the best place for her to be, if she was just attention seeking, she wouldn't stay catatonic for very long. Her husband then called me about an hour later and she was trying to sneak out of the door. She went in to the mental facility and she couldn't stand up on her own, within a few hours of realizing where she was, she was walking and going down the hallway trying to get out. She received disability for two years for her headaches, and now she's listing other injuries, neck, fibromyalgia, thinks she has diabetes, and what I've figured out is that her disability will end and she does not want to go to work. My feelings are that she is working the system with so many illnesses that she will be able to get permanent disability from the state. I find it hard because this person was once my very best friend and it's been out of control for years. I had to separate myself because of my own illnesses. So, Kim I really do understand what you are saying, it's really sad to see people work the system. There are so many times where people are very sick and deserve disability and can't get approved, and then there are others that have figured out how to work the system so they can get paid by the state. It's very sad...
Learning how to set bondries with people is hard but worth it. I had a mum that PUSHED her way into my life and finally had to get firm and tell her. She did not talk to me a fue years but its now OKish she has her moments but I just try to remind her I want stand for it.
It's harder if your worried you'll get hurt physicly but you can use excuses if you dont want to be with her or talk to her. Some times all we can do is take care of our selfs, and sometimes that mean keeping negative people at a distance.
I'm still learning to keep negative people at a distance.
It's harder if your worried you'll get hurt physicly but you can use excuses if you dont want to be with her or talk to her. Some times all we can do is take care of our selfs, and sometimes that mean keeping negative people at a distance.
I'm still learning to keep negative people at a distance.
This thread has ended up about you cause the people on here have very big hearts and wants the best for everyone. I know how hard it will be to break this friendship but it is for the best, Maybe you will sell your house soon and move so you don't have to deal with it to much longer. I hate to see anyone go thru this stuff cause I know I did with my brother and I never want to go thru it again.
Good luck
Jamie
Good luck
Jamie
Yeah, the lower back thing, maybe she injured it on purpose or she really does have another condition. OR she can just be saying that her pain there is a 10 and she needs help. Some doctors don't see through patients lies. I'm not really sure what's going on there but my sister does the same thing. She puts on this act for the doctors and they treat her like she's a queen at times. I feel sorry for your friend though. The more addicted she is, if she doesn't get her hands on pills, she'll go crazy. :( And you're welcome. That's what we are here for :)
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You can move (hopefully) soon and meet some wonderful "NORMAL" neighbors and start some healthy new neighborhood Friendships!! You did everything in your power to help her but she just doesn't want to be helped.
People who choose to live like this live in "their own little world" and don't care anything at all about anyone other than themselves. Be GRATEFUL that you aren't like her!! You have some wonderful friends that truly care about you and you don't have to babysit because they are emotionally spent. I
t brings to mind the VERY old saying that I'm sure EVERYONE'S parents taught them and that is "BUT FOR THE GRACE OF GOD GO I". If ever it had meaning I would say that this is the time!!
Congratulations!!! Please keep us updated on how you are doing as we truly care about you...Sherry