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Privacy regarding medications
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Privacy regarding medications

Hi Friends,

After a series of events last night I discovered that my husband has told his family and friends that I take oxycodone for pain, along with complaining that I go to the doctor "every week" for something  - the ladder which is not true (other than my therapist appts.)

Other than the fact that his additude towards my condition and choice to seek treatment for my pain is extremely unsupportive, I am extremely ANGRY that he would share this information with his family when I am not there to defend or explain why I take pain meds. Not that I need to defend or explain anything, but his family is EXTREMELY naive to medical things and I am afraid of how I am going to be portrayed within the family now. (They live out of state) Between their naive additude and all of the bad press that oxy and it's abuse has gotten I just can't believe he would just tell people that like it's no big deal. In addition, his brother is a drug addict and just got out rehab, so there is a sentivitivy to drug addiction in the family from that as well.

I am sooooooooooo mad. I told my husband that MY medications are MY business and unless I choose to share with people that I take them personally, then they have NO business knowing what medications I take. Period. I told him that from now on, I expect that my medical information be kept CONFIDENTIAL. He disagrees and says that family has a right to know what is "going on in our lives."

I am seriously to a point where I don't even want to share with my OWN husband what I take. I'm sick of the critisizm and judgement....that has now spread from just him and my side of the family to our WHOLE family and even our friends. Talk about feeling isolation....

Thoughts? Who do you all tell about your treatment?

Kat
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Kat - you REALLY have some SERIOUS thinking to do about you and your husband.  I NORMALLY would say DON'T let him know about your medications ANYMORE, BUT in your case I TRULY believe that he will SNOOP through EVERYTHING that you have to find whatever you are hiding.  

Have you EVER thought about Marriage Counseling? I hesitate to ask this, but, have you EVER thought about THREATENING him with a separation if he won't go to marriage counseling with you?  

I just don't see ANY other way out of this for you, to get him to STOP what he is doing!! IF he doesn't, I'm REALLY afraid at some point it's going to RUIN  your marriage.  I'd HATE to see that happen as I KNOW that you Love him.  :)

Hopefully, others will come on that this has happened to ans tell you what THEY have don to prevent it from happening anymore to them. :)

I HOPE and PRAY that I haven't said ANYTHING that has upset you, as you KNOW how much we care for yoy here on MH!!  :)

PLEASE keep us updated on how you are doing and ALWAYS know that you can VENT here ANYTIME at all!!!

We're ALWAYS here for you............Mama Sherry



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Kat,
      I am sorry about the prejudice that we have to deal with from people who have no idea what it is like to live in constant pain.  I deal with the same kind of bias crap from my family that do not understand what I go through and cannot comprehend that when you have been on opiates for a long time the sedative effect or "High" that a recreational user might experience from my drugs is nothing like what I feel when I take them.  The drugs I take would kill most people..(well maybe not kill, but I wouldn't want to drive with them" They cannot comprehend Opiate dependance, tolerance to pain meds..or even the concept of pain that does not ever seem to stop. Enough about me.. I have  a question for you.  You said you take oxycodone.. do you mean oxycodone or contin? And if it is oxycodone..is it mixed with anything else?? The reason I ask is I was wondering if there is another name that the pharmacist might put on your prescriptions..Like Percocet or Percodan.. or any of the other wierd names that do not have the same stigma as Oxy-anything.  I know it won;t fix the problem and it is basically just  a horse of a different color..but I have noticed that when someone asks me what I take for pain when I tell them I take a special long acting pain med called "Avinza'' that people don't have an attitude.. because no one is familar with it.. so no one judges me because of it.  If   say 24hour time release 100 mg. morphine..they stay next to me waiting for me to keel over.  I take my Avinza and my oxycodone and percocet and everyone marvels on how little my meds effect me.  They think that Avinza is some kind of new anti inflamatory or something... Im not saying switch to avinza ..just that there may be another name for what you take that might take the" heat" off.

Another idea came to mind.  Next time your husband is giving you **** about your pain meds..borrow his Louisville slugger and whack him as hard as you can in his knee cap and then see how understanding he becomes when he is laying there writhing in pain at your feet,  and then give him about 5 mins to re-think his whole attitude regarding medically supervised pain control.  He'll be begging you to share..and you will just have to tell him no because that would not be responsible use of your meds...LOL

I am only joking about breaking his leg..or even just his knees.  I was just hoping the visual image of him lying on the floor while you are in control might make you feel better.

You mentioned your therapist..that person might be the best person to advise you on how to dieal with your relationship.  I just hope your therapist is supportive of your pain control and not another source of frustration for you.  good luck.

Vickey

Vickey
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Kat-unfortunately I have been down this road many times. It is a ver serious situation. Especially if you have children. My advice to you is to bring your husband with you to your pain management Doctor so he can get an idea why you take what you take for your legitimate pain issues. Always keep your pain meds in a lock box with a key away from your children. The worst thing legally that could happen is If your husband were able to scare your parents enough through their own ignorance and convince them to send you to detox and give him custody of your
children. This happens all the time. My husband tried to do this to me but I stopped it from happening. It is completely unacceptable for him to talk to any body about your medical issues when you are not present that is why they passed the hippaa law. To protect patients privacy. He has breached your trust. You are in a lot of pain and you are doing what is best for your family so that you can take care of them. If he is suspicious or unwilling to love you"in sickness and in health" he is breaking his vows. Tell him if he comes to the doctor with you, he will be there to support you and he is not to talk or be rude only to observe. Hope this helps. I WILL be praying for you. Your marriage can weather this.

Ingris
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It is so sad that the 1 person we think we can trust with this info is the 1 that seems so utterly clueless.  I went a HUGE fight with m husband 2 summers ago for the same issue.  The info had been given to his brother who was dating this woman who thought that spending her day out in the garage while in early pregnancy smoking bongs all day was safe for her unborn baby, YET the fact that I'm on fentanyl & was breasatfeeding my baby was against the law.  I had been told to breastfeed her by specialists as it would be a slow wean for her & do less damage then a fast wean in hospital, but according to this woman who has lost custody of her oldest child I was turning my infant into a drug addict.  I LOST IT on her, her boyfriend & my husband. It got so bad that police were called cuz I apparently said something she took as a threat.  I woulda loved to have beaten her clueless head in.  She's miscarried that birth but has since given birth to a lil boy who THANK GOD doesn't show any signs yet of problems.  They were just evicted from their place for the 5th time since his birth less then a year ago, never have money for food, formula or diapers & it's the middle of winter.

Our husbands really need to learn that what we have to do for pain is NO ONE'S business provided it's legal & not hurting anyone.  I'm sorry you had to go through this! I think your best bet would be to tell him to keep your medical conditions & how they are treated silent or risk being a single man again.  May seem a little harsh, but he'll at least hopefully see how much he has hurt you.  That or you can try doing the same thing or similar.  Try taking something he wants private & letting it slip to someone who you know will mention it to him.  Hurtful yes, but maybe the point will stick? I dunno.

I wish you luck :-)

Melissa
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Hi Kat,

I am sorry that I am tardy to your post...but you certainly can see that you have the support and understanding our of members. Goodness girl, my heart goes out to you. I am so angry with you and for you.

What your husband did borders illegal.....and WORSE!!! If he was a medical professional he would be in huge legal trouble. Unfortunately he can do whatever he wants with your medical information! In my opinion it is a down right betrayal. His attitude that the family "has a right" to know what is going on in your life should tell you a lot! No one, absolutely no one has a "right" to know about your medical condition including medications, treatments or anything close to it. You might want to remind him about HIPPA!!! OR better yet your marriage vows!! But I doubt it would do you any good at this point. He sounds angry about the situation and may be looking for backing and support from his family.

My husband would never do something even close to what yours has done. I am afraid if he did our relationship would be so severely damaged it may not survive.  I am so sad for you. In my opinion you now have some tough choices. How can you share anything with him going forward?

I think if I were in your position I would write to his family. I would include one or two of our "letters." What do you have to lose? Maybe you can make them understand what he can't. I would be kind and I would not even belittle your husband. I would express your concern but understanding that he cannot comprehend your physical pain and challenges let alone your chronic pain. They will either throw the letter and support him even more...or it may help them understand what you are enduring. Again, what do you have to lose?

Sherrie made a good suggestion....therapy may help him. If you see a PM Therapist your husband may benefit from joining you on a visit. However I would consult your Therapist first and let him/her know what has happened and that you would like your husband to share in a session. If you don't see one you may want to and get your husband involved.

I'll copy one of the letters I spoke about and post it here. I have several others if you would like them.  If I can be of any assistance please do not hesitate to ask me. Please remember that WE DO understand and care. We are always here for you.

Wishing you healing,
~Tuck

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Here's one of my favorites........


LETTER TO PEOPLE WITHOUT CHRONIC PAIN:

Having chronic pain means many things change, and a lot of them are invisible. Unlike having cancer or being hurt in an accident, most people do not understand even a little about chronic pain and its effects, and of those that think they know, many are actually misinformed.

In the spirit of informing those who wish to understand ...

... These are the things that I would like you to understand about me before you judge me...

Please understand that being sick doesn't mean I'm not still a human being. I have to spend most of my day in considerable pain and exhaustion, and if you visit, sometimes I probably don't seem like much fun to be with, but I'm still me-- stuck inside this body. I still worry about school, my family, my friends, and most of the time - I'd still like to hear you talk about yours, too.

Please understand the difference between "happy" and "healthy". When you've got the flu, you probably feel miserable with it, but I've been sick for years. I can't be miserable all the time. In fact, I work hard at not being miserable. So, if you're talking to me and I sound happy, it means I'm happy. That's all. It doesn't mean that I'm not in a lot of pain, or extremely tired, or that I'm getting better, or any of those things. Please don't say, "Oh, you're sounding better!" or "But you look so healthy!¨ I am merely coping. I am sounding happy and trying to look normal. If you want to comment on that, you're welcome.


Please understand that being able to stand up for ten minutes doesn't necessarily mean that I can stand up for twenty minutes, or an hour. Just because I managed to stand up for thirty minutes yesterday doesn't mean that I can do the same today. With a lot of diseases you're either paralyzed, or you can move. With this one, it gets more confusing everyday. It can be like a yo-yo. I never know from day to day, how I am going to feel when I wake up. In most cases, I never know from minute to minute. That is one of the hardest and most frustrating components of chronic pain.

Please repeat the above paragraph substituting, "sitting", "walking", "thinking", "concentrating", "being sociable" and so on ... it applies to everything. That's what chronic pain does to you.

Please understand that chronic pain is variable. It's quite possible (for many, it's common) that one day I am able to walk to the park and back, while the next day I'll have trouble getting to the next room. Please don't attack me when I'm ill by saying, "But you did it before!" or Oh, come on, I know you can do this!" If you want me to do something, then ask if I can. In a similar vein, I may need to cancel a previous commitment at the last minute. If this happens, please do not take it personally. If you are able, please try to always remember how very lucky you are--to be physically able to do all of the things that you can do.

Please understand that "getting out and doing things" does not make me feel better, and can often make me seriously worse. You don't know what I go through or how I suffer in my own private time. Telling me that I need to exercise, or do some things to get my mind off of it¨ may frustrate me to tears, and is not correct if I was capable of doing some things any or all of the time, don't you know that I would? I am working with my doctor and I am doing what I am supposed to do. Another statement that hurts is, "You just need to push yourself more, try harder..." Obviously, chronic pain can deal with the whole body, or be localized to specific areas. Sometimes participating in a single activity for a short or a long period of time can cause more damage and physical pain than you could ever imagine. Not to mention the recovery time, which can be intense. You can't always read it on my face or in my body language. Also, chronic pain may cause secondary depression (wouldn't you get depressed and down if you were hurting constantly for months or years?), but it is not created by depression.

Please understand that if I say I have to sit down/lie down/stay in bed/or take these pills now, that probably means that I do have to do it right now - it can't be put off or forgotten just because I'm somewhere, or am right in the middle of doing something. Chronic pain does not forgive, nor does it wait for anyone.

If you want to suggest a cure to me, please don't. It's not because I don't appreciate the thought, and it's not because I don't want to get well. Lord knows that isn't true. In all likelihood, if you've heard of it or tried it, so have I. In some cases, I have been made sicker, not better. This can involve side effects or allergic reactions. It also includes failure, which in and of itself can make me feel even lower. If there were something that cured, or even helped people with my form of chronic pain, then we'd know about it. There is worldwide networking (both on and off the Internet) between people with chronic pain. If something worked, we would KNOW. It's definitely not for lack of trying. If, after reading this, you still feel the need to suggest a cure, then so be it. I may take what you said and discuss it with my doctor.

If I seem touchy, it's probably because I am. It's not how I try to be. As a matter of fact, I try very hard to be normal. I hope you will try to understand. I have been, and am still, going through a lot. Chronic pain is hard for you to understand unless you have had it. It wreaks havoc on the body and the mind. It is exhausting and exasperating. Almost all the time, I know that I am doing my best to cope with this, and live my life to the best of my ability. I ask you to bear with me, and accept me as I am. I know that you cannot literally understand my situation unless you have been in my shoes, but as much as is possible, I am asking you to try to be understanding in general.

In many ways I depend on you - people who are not sick. I need you to visit me when I am too sick to go out... Sometimes I need you help me with the shopping, cooking or cleaning. I may need you to take me to the doctor, or to the store. You are my link to the normalcy of life. You can help me to keep in touch with the parts of life that I miss and fully intend to undertake again, just as soon as I am able.

I know that I have asked a lot from you, and I do thank you for listening. It really does mean a lot.

AUTHOR UNKNOWN
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We did a few sessions of counseling before I left for Europe. I thought they were going quite well until the last one...the one where we quit picking on ME and I finally got to bring up one of MY issues. He hasn't wanted to schedule one since. I think the therapist sensed that would happen and that is why she chose to go slow with letting me bring up my issues and I was ok with that. Unfortunately we didn't even get to the pain management issues. I asked earlier today if we could return and he told me that he was "done" with the counselor...that things were going to be "his way or the highway."

I have invited him to attend all of my appointments with me. So far he has only attended one. He went with me to my Psychiatrist's office and that didn't go so well. He really embarassed me. We talked about upping my mood stabilizer. She is really good about listening to me and my suggestions and when I asked if we could do that...that I thought it might be of some help....he went totally buzzurk on her. He told her that SHE was the doctor...not ME...and that I shouldn't have any imput at all. Then he went on and on about how she really had no clue about what really goes on at home and that in a 30 minute once a month check she couldn't possibly know enough to be prescibing me psych meds. She then explained to him that she did a complete 3 hour evaluation at my first visit and that this is how things work. That she works closly with me and my therapis and that her and I DO check in on what is going on. It was terrible. Then when we got home, he ranted on about how a woman that is "so fat she could hardly move in her chair" could possibly be in charge of someone else's health when she clearly cannot take care of herself. -sigh- I told him that her weight has nothing to do with her abilities to do her job and that he was being rediculous.

This morning I had to go pick up my Oxycodone (and yes, it's Oxycodone - just Percocet without the tylenol for my liver since Cymbalta is so hard on it already) and I asked him if he'd watch the baby so I didn't have to take him with me. He made some comment about "you put yourself in this boat...you deal with it. If you are embarassed to take your child to pick up your DRUGS then maybe you shouldn't be on them!" First of all, yes....people do judge....and I prefer not to bring my child with me. But also I was out and in pain and didn't feel like chasing him around the store while I waited for the script!

And so the war began again.....He told me that I "don't need to take 120 Percocets for my "FibromyaIJA" (he always says it in a smartass way). I reminded him that Fibro is not my only condition and that I have degenerated discs and pintched nerves and he just rolled his eyes. He told me that at this point he does not think I want to be "fixed", that I am just a drug addict. I basically told him that until he decides to take me up on my offer to join me at an appointment with the PM's office that I was done discussing my medical condition with him.

He told me that if I continued to take pills he was done with me. I got so upset that I flushed all my psych meds down the toilet. <---not a good idea. I then threw the empty bottles at him and asked him if he was "happy now?" It was an ugly situation. My parents picked up the kids and we had a big talk. We discussed seperation. He seemed more than happy to leave and I broke down and begged him not to. :(
We agreed to giving it 30 more days to see if we can make it work.

I don't know what I am going to do. I have appointments with my therapist this week as well as the PM doc. I want to discuss cutting down on my meds but I need to also be realistic and need to be able to function. I want to save my marriage, but cannot spend my life suffering in pain either. I hope he will join me or try to learn more about what is going on with me so that he can better understand that I don't want to take these meds either. What scares me the most is that I don't think there is a "fix" out there for me. I have been in pain for my entire adult life. I had my first fusion at age 20! He wants me to go get cured and get on with it and I am afraid it doesn't work that way and until he realizes that, it's going to be a battle. Or maybe, he doesn't want to have a wife like that and if that is the case, then I am going to have to accept that and move on and that breaks my heart because we have two beautiful children together and I love him very much. :(
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Oh, and I went and got re-fills on my psych meds when I calmed down. I realize that stopping those abruptly right now would be a very bad idea. :)
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Tuck~

That letter is great! Unfortunately, they all think I've "made up" my condition. I keep asking hubby, "If I had cancer, would you be complaining about the bills and my doctor visits?" and he just replies with "YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING LIKE THAT!!"

It's very frusterating.....
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Have you ever tried to break down the pain you feel for him? For example my boyfriend and I were talking last night about how I hate the 0-10 pain scale because there is no accurate way to gauge pain because it's subjective. So he asked me how I felt after my RFA so I told him it feels like I've been out doing yard work for 10 hours, my back felt like I'd been bent over digging in the ground all day. Then he understood how I felt better because that's a pain he's felt before. Has your husband ever broken a bone? Ask him how he would feel if the bone was broken forever and he could do nothing to take away that pain. People seem to understand more when you relate your pain to a pain that everyone is familiar with. Most days it feels like I've been hit by a bus but no one knows what being hit by a bus feels like unless you really have been hit by a buss so I can't really use that one!
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Kat, it is very important that you keep a journal of all that is happening. He is exhibiting abusive behavior towards you for things you can not control.

   The turning point for mr and my husband came when I tapered my pain meds down slowly until I was on none(I was still on my phsych meds.) and for two months my husband watched me deal with life in excruciating pain. I never once opened my mouth to complain but I basically was in bed, couldn't drive or play with my kids. All i could do was bathe and get back in bed. It really got his attention. But it was awful on mr and awful for my boys to
watch. Then when I was back on meds and my pain was controlled-he had his wife back.  

Pls whatever happens don't let him turn your family you. Your family must understand that you have legimate issues and good Doctors and you follow their protocol. Confess to your parents that he is not with out faults too. It looks really terrible to a judge when her own family sides against her and stands with her husband in court-really bad!  Prepare for the worst case scenario and protect your children. Please! Your children know inherently know  that it's not your fault that you are sick. They will stick by you Mom. Love you, god Bless you and please feel better. There is a light at the end of this tunnel. I know it, I've been there:)
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I can't add anything to help, but I feel for you!  I am single (newly) I think for a reason!
Please hang in there!  I am thinking of you!

~~ dgg
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Thanks for all of your prayers and suggestions. We had a queit evening together, listening to music and playing cards like the old days. It was fun, Maybe it's a start,,,
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Kit, Let me start by say that I'm so sorry that he treats you this way.  I agree that you should keep a journal. Can you open up a private email account that he does not have access to and start journaling all of the things you have told us? Email the journal to yourself so that you have record of whats going on.

Wow. I don't even know where to begin. I always tell people not to tell ANYONE what meds they're taking (except for your spouse). My husband knows, and he would never tell anyone because you always risk getting robbed, people looking at you differently and judging, etc. But, for your husband to betray you like that is just the most awful thing ever. I can't even find the words that I need to say how terrible what he did is. You should be able to trust him.

So, I would journal. It sounds like you really want things to work out with your marriage, but you do not deserve to be treated that way. You don't need all of this stress on top of all of your pain!

I agree with Inga. It really does sound like abusive behavior. I'm going to keep you in my prayers. Please know that we are all here for you.

Hugs,

Flower
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What should I be keeping track of?

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You should keep track of EVERYTHING that he is saying TO you as well as ABOUT you.  Along with that the way that he TREATS you is ABSOLUTELY UNACCEPTABLE!!  

Kat, NO ONE should EVER just sit there and TAKE what he is doing to you.  The way he acts is NOT the way that a person acts who LOVES someone!!!  

PLEASE DO NOT ALLOW HIM TO TELL YOU WHAT OR HOW MANY MEDS YOU NEED!!!  He's NOT a Doctor and ALL of your conditions are DOCUMENTED!!!  If you cut back on your meds HOW will you EVER be able to care for YOUR Children????

PLEASE stop and THINK BEFORE you do anything as drastic as that.  :{  I HOPE that you WILL NOT let HIM make ALL of the RULES!!  YOU MUST put you foot down and let him know what you WILL NOT DO!!!

We're here for you and we ALWAYS will be!!!!

MEGA {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}............Mama Sherry
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Sweeti-keep a journal of dates and times of the way he behaves towards you and the children. What is disturbing to me is that it was OK as long as when you went to the therapist you were talking about how sick you were, but when you started to talk about him he wanted to get up and leave. Marriage is both ways-we can only change ourselves not the other person. It feels like you are working hard to accommodate for him but all he can do is put you down more-this will wear anyone out physically and mentally. Write down his comments that he makes. Some men need their wives to be sick. It makes them feel better about themselves. Then when the wife tries to help yourself he puts her down more, it's  called "crazy making." I am not saying that is what is going on here. All I am saying is to keep a journal- try to be objective in it. You may need it later as proof or you may need it just to have a place to think. But always do what your Doctor tells you to do. Follow your gut instinct too-woman have powerful sixth sense, and continue to go to therapy with or with out him. You are a strong person, you have been through a lot and we are all rooting for you!

Inga
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Kat - ALSO remember that MH has a Journal capability.  You can keep it here and you can even get comments IF you want them OR you can keep them COMPLETELY private.  It give YOU the option!!

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A journal is a GREAT idea.  It gives you the ability to vent about what is going on so it helps lift some of the stress by releasing it in words.  U have the choice on if others can read that journal & offer their help, or to keep it private so that only u can see it.  The best part of writing a journal for yourself is you can read it later & see exactly how he makes you feel when the fights are happening & the way he treats you.  As married women I find we are far too quick to forgive & forget as we want to do whatever it takes to save our marriages.  A person who doesnt suffer chronic pain will NEVER understand how  hard each & every day is for someone who does suffer through it.  And sadly men never seem to understand how hurtful their actions & words can be.  You've been through more then enough & to have this breech of trust by the 1 person you should be able to trust *****.  If you ever want another woman to talk to feel free to pm me.  I've been told I'm a great listener & having suffered through some things similar I am sympathetic.

I will keep my fingers crossed for you & your husband.  & please if you EVER need to talk remember you have a great group of ladies right here waiting to help any way we can.

Melissa
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Thank you everyone for your WONDERFUL support!!!

I am going to take things one day at a time. Last night we made dinner and played cards together for the first time in a very long time. It was nice to turn off the tv and just have some fun together.

Today I am working hard to get the house back to "working order" after being gone for so long. I am trying to show him that I am capable of being a good wife and mom...but I DO need my meds to accomplish these things.

I look forward to boucing all of this off of my therapist on Thursday to get some feedback from him as well. A girlfriend of mine also suggested perhaps trying a different marriage counselor with a different style. That might help. The lady we were seeing had a very soft approach and a lot of it was "positive affirmations." While that is nice, we didn't really dig into much in three sessions and I think that was frusterating for him. He is deefinatley a more aggresive (aggressive) person by nature and if he needs that in therapy then I am all for it so long as he goes!
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Just wanted to add a quick note that I'll be thinking of you.  I am appalled at how your husband is treating you, and I hope our thoughts and prayers help knock some sense into him!
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I, too, think it's appalling and abusive what your h usband is doing about your medicines. When I first started taking pain meds several years ago, I told everyone in my immediate circle because I thought that if they understood what I was going through, they would be more sympathetic and helpful. I couldn't have been farther from the truth! They were judgmental and anything but understanding.

I stopped taking pain meds when I was pregnant with my daughter, and Ij ust never told anyone that I started again. My husband knows, but that's it. My MIL knows that I took pain meds when I was pregnant with my son, but she didn't care, and she doesn't know if I still take them or not - she's never asked. SO I leave it at that.

People have such a stigma about pain meds and it's just not fair....sadly, theo nly thing they see are the media drug addicts and seekers and the media never covers genuine pain patients who take their meds responsibly...so in all honesty, if I had no experience with PM and I had no way to understand, I might have the same misconceptions. That doesn't excuse it, but I can understand why people do.

Take care of yourself....and if he's going to be like that, he's lost the right to know about your treatment IMO.
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Hi Kat,

I'm VERY happy that you had such a WONDERFUL evening together!! That type of evening is ALWAYS good when you are having problems. It COULD be a sign that he is trying.  :)

I LOVE the idea of at least TRYING a different Marriage Counselor.  I wonder if he might relate better to a man as a Counselor.  Maybe he wouldn't be so offended is a MAN says something that is derogatory to him.  Just a thought.  :)

You KNOW that I'm here as are ALL of us!!!

I'm Thinking of you and keeping you in my Prayers!  :)

{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}...............Mama Sherry  :)
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hi;; reading about your problems,reminds me of the DOORS; song= people are strange, i have come to realise that by not telling a living soul,R:E meds, problems do not emerge. saves people treating you like,a 3 headed monster. hang in there=and put a shrimp on the ======, god bless.
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