Aa
The last few days have been so hard
I have been having atrocious pain the last few days .This weekend I found my dogs have got a flea problem .I freaked because my dogs mean the world to me.We bathed them ,treated them ,my house ,yard etc. Since then I have been hurting so bad .I took a couple extra of my pain meds through the month and now I am out til Thurs. I have used the jacuzzi , muscle relaxers , heating pad everything I can think of to try and hold off the pain but nothings working.Also, I feel so guilty because I have been so wrapped up in me and my health that I let my dogs go like that.We treat them with frontline but I think the fleas are immune to it.First my home went downhill with me not being able to keep up with it , I feel like I am neglecting my family ,and now my dogs .On top of that I am in so much pain .I feel so darn depressed and hopeless.. and I feel like a burden to my family.. I pray I can get past feeling this way .I can't handle it.
Being addicted to your meds and being dependent are like a mile and a inch and it does scare alot of people on how they are going to feel when they go off their meds. Sorry to hear about your sister but when you do stuff like that, I guess you have to pay for it. My brother is in jail right now cause of drug charges. I'm glad you only get your meds thru your PM doctor alot of people get into trouble for getting them from more then one but I know you know that cause of your sister.
Best of luck to you,
Jamie
Best of luck to you,
Jamie
I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart! I was having a bad day and let all this get to me .To respond to what namnam46 I don't feel any longer that I am addicted to my meds .I realize now that I am dependent though.I was afraid because of what my sister went through..She was horribly addicted .She got caught dr. shopping 22 counts was buying meds on the street and taking 20 pain pills a day ..The only dr.i get my meds from is my PM. I have never bought pills from anyone..I just wanted to clarify that .I appreciate you guys concern and care .I am so grateful to have found this place .Thanks everyone! God bless Melissa
I just wanted to say that I am so glad that you have a family that is very good to you. I know what your going thru with that. I feel so bad when I can't do things with my kids but I am not a super hero and I can't do it all and I keep having to remind myself of that every day. I do what I can and then i stop cause it isn't worth the more pain it will put me into it. I do go to games with my kids and watch them. My pain is in my face so I can't yell to much but I do what I can. I am the only parent that can take score too so I have no choice but to go and help out.
Don't beat yourself up over this. Tomorrow is thursday and you can get some more meds just keep telling yourself that to get thru this day. I am glad your going to talk to your pain dr about your meds so maybe your pain can be better controled. I see my pain dr for the first time this friday so my pain hasn't been controled very welll so I am right here with you.
Hang in there,
Jamie
Don't beat yourself up over this. Tomorrow is thursday and you can get some more meds just keep telling yourself that to get thru this day. I am glad your going to talk to your pain dr about your meds so maybe your pain can be better controled. I see my pain dr for the first time this friday so my pain hasn't been controled very welll so I am right here with you.
Hang in there,
Jamie
I know exactly how you feel! I too, have severe neck pain. I have two herniated discs and a spinal injury from moderate compression for so long. I feel the exact same way you do and when my pain is unbearable, I will have anxiety attacks also. Actually I was having an anxiety attack last night and I'm not sure why. I have to breathe slowly and remind myself I'm not going to die to get through them. I feel exactly as you, like a burden to my family.
I actually have some heartz oatmeal flea and tick shampoo that works with the frontline. I usually will not touch the heartz brand, but I was in a pinch and it worked well. You can apply frontline one week after a treatment if your dogs still have fleas. Use the frontline plus and make sure your not buying it online. We buy ours at fleetfarm. It's much cheaper through there.
If you feel your pain is not being treated well, you need to tell your doctor. There is no reason for you to suffer like this. Perhaps you need to look into finding a surgeon to relieve the stenosis and take care of the bone spurs in your neck along with the bulges. Maybe you already have talked with the surgeons. I'm 10 years younger then you are and I do know how you feel. I feel trapped in this body too. I'm physically unable to do anything and I feel like I'm cheating my family out of their lives.
Hang in there and I hope your appointment goes well next month with the pain management doc.
I actually have some heartz oatmeal flea and tick shampoo that works with the frontline. I usually will not touch the heartz brand, but I was in a pinch and it worked well. You can apply frontline one week after a treatment if your dogs still have fleas. Use the frontline plus and make sure your not buying it online. We buy ours at fleetfarm. It's much cheaper through there.
If you feel your pain is not being treated well, you need to tell your doctor. There is no reason for you to suffer like this. Perhaps you need to look into finding a surgeon to relieve the stenosis and take care of the bone spurs in your neck along with the bulges. Maybe you already have talked with the surgeons. I'm 10 years younger then you are and I do know how you feel. I feel trapped in this body too. I'm physically unable to do anything and I feel like I'm cheating my family out of their lives.
Hang in there and I hope your appointment goes well next month with the pain management doc.
I'm so sorry your pain is so bad. It's so hard to do it all when you're in pain. Don't be so hard on yourself. There is no permanent damage. Everything is fine. I hope you find some peace soon.
I think Sherry and Jamie said it all. Just want to send ((Hugs)).
Sara
I think Sherry and Jamie said it all. Just want to send ((Hugs)).
Sara
Melissa,
I'm so sorry, my computer jumped on me and I posted the end in the middle. LOL
Sorry about that just insert the bottom 3 paragraphs up in the middle. :)
I'll try to do better next time....LOL Sherry
I'm so sorry, my computer jumped on me and I posted the end in the middle. LOL
Sorry about that just insert the bottom 3 paragraphs up in the middle. :)
I'll try to do better next time....LOL Sherry
Melissa,
I'm so sorry that you are having everything hit you at once!! I, too, know how bad the pain can be and there is nothing that you can do. Believe me, we all feel the same way at some point and we have just had to learn to live with and accept our pain and the limitations that go along with it.
How fortunate you are to have a loving family and I'm sure that they understand or try to understand what you are going thru because they love you.
I went back and read your original Post in the Substance Abuse Forum that you were afraid that you have become addicted to your pills since you started taking them in January. That you are taking more than you are supposed to every month. Do you think that you are addicted? Or is your body dependent on them? Does your Dr. know that you are taking more than prescribed each month?
I'm wondering if maybe you are dependent on them like we all are because of our pain? If so have you talked to your PM Dr. about putting you on a long-lasting Pain Medication with something for your BT Pain. I really think that this might help you out a lot with your pain issues.
You are having so much to deal with and I think that you really need to talk with your PM Dr. about a change in your meds and tell him/her the way that you are feeling and that you really need some sort of help to deal with everything that is going on with the pain and the depression.
Please keep us updated as we are concerned about you. I hope that your next PM Clinic appt. will give you some needed relief.....Sherry
As Jamie stated, you really need to take your Pain Meds as they are prescribed so that you don't run out at the end. I know that the pain may be worse at some point but you have to remember that it may get worse than what it is if you wind up with NO pain meds at the end of the month. You need to talk to your PM Dr. if they (the meds) aren't working for you and see if he/she can adjust them to help you more.
Do you think that maybe you might talk to your Dr. about an anti-depressant for you? I'm just asking as maybe that might help you for a while to get past this "bump" in your life.
You just need to try and realize that you can't do it all and have to let your family help you out. I'm assuming that your family does help you out.
I'm so sorry that you are having everything hit you at once!! I, too, know how bad the pain can be and there is nothing that you can do. Believe me, we all feel the same way at some point and we have just had to learn to live with and accept our pain and the limitations that go along with it.
How fortunate you are to have a loving family and I'm sure that they understand or try to understand what you are going thru because they love you.
I went back and read your original Post in the Substance Abuse Forum that you were afraid that you have become addicted to your pills since you started taking them in January. That you are taking more than you are supposed to every month. Do you think that you are addicted? Or is your body dependent on them? Does your Dr. know that you are taking more than prescribed each month?
I'm wondering if maybe you are dependent on them like we all are because of our pain? If so have you talked to your PM Dr. about putting you on a long-lasting Pain Medication with something for your BT Pain. I really think that this might help you out a lot with your pain issues.
You are having so much to deal with and I think that you really need to talk with your PM Dr. about a change in your meds and tell him/her the way that you are feeling and that you really need some sort of help to deal with everything that is going on with the pain and the depression.
Please keep us updated as we are concerned about you. I hope that your next PM Clinic appt. will give you some needed relief.....Sherry
As Jamie stated, you really need to take your Pain Meds as they are prescribed so that you don't run out at the end. I know that the pain may be worse at some point but you have to remember that it may get worse than what it is if you wind up with NO pain meds at the end of the month. You need to talk to your PM Dr. if they (the meds) aren't working for you and see if he/she can adjust them to help you more.
Do you think that maybe you might talk to your Dr. about an anti-depressant for you? I'm just asking as maybe that might help you for a while to get past this "bump" in your life.
You just need to try and realize that you can't do it all and have to let your family help you out. I'm assuming that your family does help you out.
You are so right about taking more than prescribed. I am going back to my PM doc in July and talk with her about what we can do to get a handle on my pain.It was foolish of me to take more. I try not to be hard on myself but sometimes it just gets to me. I feel so guilty at times .My family they are so supportive I am blessed to have my husband and son. But ,my illnesses have affected their life too.I used to be so there for them and took great joy in taking care of them and now it's the other way around .I know they don't mind but it bothers me. Thank you Jamie for responding .I really appreciate it God bless ,Melissa
I am sorry you have been thru so much. I know how bad pain can get to you and when it isn't being treated that is when you get really depressed. I really feel for you. But when you are in so much pain and you take more meds then it says on the bottle your going to be short and you know how hard it will be on you. The way i look at it, I know my meds aren't taking care of all my pain but what pain it does help is better then going without for days if I take more then I am suppose too. That is just how I look at it.
The best thing you can do now is do the best you can with the pain until you go back to the dr.
As for the fleas sometimes it can't be helped. Fleas are everywhere and I know when my dogs got them I really hated it but it was best to fight to get rid of them so it don't happen again. Things like that is going to happen and can't be helped all you can do is treat it. Don't be down so much on your self. When your in pain all you can think about is that pain if it isn't being treated good and you lose track of the good things in life cause you can't enjoy them. My husband is always telling me to stop and smell the roses and I tell him it would be nice to stop and smell them if it didn't hurt so much to do it. I hope someone else on here has some ideas for you on how to handle the pain better. I hope things get better for you,
Jamie
The best thing you can do now is do the best you can with the pain until you go back to the dr.
As for the fleas sometimes it can't be helped. Fleas are everywhere and I know when my dogs got them I really hated it but it was best to fight to get rid of them so it don't happen again. Things like that is going to happen and can't be helped all you can do is treat it. Don't be down so much on your self. When your in pain all you can think about is that pain if it isn't being treated good and you lose track of the good things in life cause you can't enjoy them. My husband is always telling me to stop and smell the roses and I tell him it would be nice to stop and smell them if it didn't hurt so much to do it. I hope someone else on here has some ideas for you on how to handle the pain better. I hope things get better for you,
Jamie
Also I neglected to tell you that I have severe stenosis of my neck . four bone spurs in my neck and bulging discs.I also have degenerative disc disease and irritable bowel syndrome.I had shoulder surgery to remove a bone spur from my right shoulder last Oct. I had 2 skull fractures in 2001 .I lost my ability to taste and smell from that plus had a blood clot on my brain for 6 mo.I have terrible migraines from this as well. I was able to work until Dec when they let me go due to all my health issues .I worked with mentally challenged adults .I so loved that job! Now , my life is being isolated ,in pain ,depressed .I just turned 45.I never imagined this would be me at 45 .Does anyone else feel like this? I would love to hear other pain sufferers take .Thanks and God bless Melissa
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My heart goes out to you. When I first came to MedHelp two years ago I would read post like yours and say, "I could have written that!" A few times I'd check the name to make sure I didn't write it. Yes my dear, many of us have felt as you do, or still feel as you feel. If that helps at all, you are not alone.
Dog's get fleas from time to time. They come into contact with with another animal of some sort and fleas are so easily transmitted. Please don't feel you have let your dogs down. I have a feeling that the fleas are just the straw that broke the camels back.
You are in pain and everything upsets me when I am in pain. And when you are in pain it is difficult to focus on anything else. So please don't beat yourself up.
I too ran out a day or two early in my pain medications, even though I took them as directed. So than I started using them more sparingly and of course had more pain. My Doc was on vacation and I was seen by her partner. He noted my increased pain. He said you need more tablets per month and a higher dose. So that's what he did. That was three years ago and I never run out because I am able to take the prescribed number and I have better pain control, at least as best as it can be controlled..
Talk to your PMP. Tell him/her that you are not obtaining sufficient pain control on your current medication regimen. I was scolded by my physician for not telling her that I was "suffering." I don't know what you take or the amount of tablets that are prescribed per month but apparently it is not adequate. Ask about other treatment options and impress upon him your level of pain. Be assertive and advocate for yourself.
I think we all feel "trapped" in a body that will not do the will of our hearts and minds. I struggled for years, feeling like a failure until I realized that chronic pain is not my fault. Just as chronic pain is not your fault. We can be guilty for the things that we can control but it is senseless to feel guilt for the things we cannot control. Chronic pain is a disease, just like diabetes. Ppl with diabetes have no reason to feel guilty and neither do you. Please don't be so hard on yourself. I am sure that you do the best that you can. That is all we can expect of ourselves.
I too had to give up a rewarding high paid professional career. I loved it and I missed it. I thought my career defined me...but it didn't. You are much more than a career. You have other things to give. My career took what little energy and tolerance I had. There was nothing left for my family. So think of it in those terms. Now you have more of you to give to your loved ones and yourself.
You are not neglecting your family!!! You my dear have chronic pain. Don't expect more of yourself than you are able to muster. If you love them that is what counts, the little things. A note in their pockets, a hug before they leave the house with a smile on your face telling them how much you love them and how wonderful they are, Things like that will be remembered and they will and do matter.
Have you seen a pain management therapist? If not I suggest that you do, or even just a good therapist. You need to learn to love and value yourself again. A therapist can help in that process.
You'll make it. If this pain is as good as it gets than learning to accept it and deal with the impact and changes it imposes in your life is key. Acceptance will bring you peace. We are here for you and we care. Please post often and keep in touch. We'll be thinking of you.
I wish you the best,
~Tuck