To all members....

[sandee1818]

We in pain management have problems with obtaining medical care and treatment and the ones who abuse the system to obtain narcotics for recreational use makes it so much harder on those who truly need help.
There have been people who come to the communtiy to gain information on how to get narcotics from doctors but there are those who really need help and support also. Lets not be too quick to judge others without having all the facts as this will only keep members from joining because they will be afraid they too will be critisized.
Thanks

[Tuckamore]

Well said Chronicpain. Your comments are an example of what Sandee and I are trying to convey to our members. I like to give ppl the benefit of the doubt. This is no place for attacks even when we believe someone is abusing or trying to gain information to abuse. There are better ways to handle the situation.

As someone said earlier we get enough of it outside this community. I become as angry as the next person when I see someone that makes our lives even more difficult that it needs to be. Attacking or belittling the poster is not the right approach. I want everyone to feel "safe" in this community. The timid can be driven away from the very place they came or are looking to come for acceptance and support.

[ChronicPain1]

I believe a degree of tact is called for, but some users jump to conclusions. There have been people trying to illegally obtain these medications we need, but some users have even attacked me before for a post I made wondering about withdrawal.

I am a CP patient and I posted that time because I got horrendously ill after my medications were changed. It turned out it wasn't related, but I asked the question because I was so sick I needed an answer. A couple people told me I wasn't being truthful, and that was offensive.

Don't jump to conclusions, but be on the watch for those who are lying. Hard to do...but you know.

[sandee1818]

I am glad everyone has a view and an opinion. This is what makes our community great. I will say I am glad that we have all said whats on our minds and we can now get on with the business we did come here to do.
I get as much support here as all the members, I may not post that I am in pain and hurting badly but it helps me to be able to help others and I assume this is true for us all.
So I say we are all great here and look forward to making our community even greater than it is.
If you do have any ideas for the community please let me or Tuck know as we are always trying new things here.
We did have the all night cafe at one point and it went well. So please feel free to share your ideas:)

[Mollyrae]

Bravo Red !!!!!

[Red931]

Can I just say let us not start going back and forth with this as it as bad as rushing to judgement.

I have not been around here as long as you guys but I will say that there have been some blatant posts lately involving individuals trying to get information to illegaly obtain narcotic pain medication. I did report them as Sandee and Tuck advised but they remained up for sometime and individuals were getting responses from innocent people that thought they were really helping someone in need. Without going into too many details, the last one over the weekend was proven beyond a reasonable doubt. We all still offered this individual good advice to deal with their addiction problem even though we knew this person was out of line.

We were later told that the moderator had actually moved this individual's post from the Substance Abuse Forum over to Pain Management. However, in my opinion the question was inappropriate for the Substance Abuse Forum also. So there are some flaws in the system as with anything. Someone eventually investigated our suspicions and this individual's posts were removed from both forums. The problem is doing that time frame this individual was getting the information that was being sought so I agree with Nick and Molly in that sometimes you may just have to post back to get the other members who may not be picking up on it a heads up. It can be done diplomatically without being judgemental or rude, I think.

We have people here that have real pain issues that we are all trying to deal with together. That is what we are here for. All of us that have posted here today know what it feels like to be stereotyped by others because of people that abuse the medication that we really need everyday so it is a bit frustrating when you see this type of behavior going on in a forum that is meant for all of us to come to and avoid this type of behavior.

We are legitimate chronic pain patients and know how doctors operate when it comes to prescribing these medications. There are people that want that information for the wrong reasons and we will never stop that. Because we are legitimate chronic pain patients we are also better able to spot someone that is abusing the system also, in my opinion.

That said, let us all just get along and try to make a positive out of a negative. We have all already exerted to much time and energy on this.

Agreed?

[sandee1818]

Nick,
Thanks for the response. Your right there are better ways to handle difficult situations where someone is trying to abuse us here. I too get offended when they come here thinking we will help them gain knowledge on how to get narcotics for recreational use but we have to be careful because we could be wrong as you say we are not perfect and so the best way to handle these difficult post is to send them to me or Tuck or hit report.

[nick30]

I agree that a better way to go in future would be to contact you in regards to any posts or people that seem to be dishonest. I will try to remember to do so.
I also agree with Molly that WE also feel un-nerved lately when posting. Like there's a big hairy spider on the wall behind us watching our every move. It makes being honest and upfront EXTREMELY difficult.
To be honest, we should have raised these concerns earlier.
But it's hard when the situation feels like it's us v them. no-one wants to be in that situation. There is no perfect solution to these problems as human beings can get offended even by the truth. Many of the things discussed on this site require the cold hard truth as to do otherwise would be potentially dangeerous.
I'm sure we all agree that everyone on this forum has good intentions. Why on earth would we even hang around here unless there was a good reason. The reason for me is simple, support(which i see as a two way street).
Not everyone who posts on this site is the same.
Some assume the best in people no matter what, some are skeptical, some are fence sitters, some are authoritarian, etc etc. We all give our opinions which come from a wide variety of perspectives. I think the result is a great balance of views, and i think it results in much great advice given.
I see diversity in these forums as a definate plus.
If someone wants the cold hard truth they can ask me for it.
If they aren't feeling emotionally strong and need a little sugar coating they can ask someone else.
All of us who have posted on this thread so far know about what happened 2 weeks ago. Some very serious mistakes were made. I was put in a position that was completely unfair. It nearly ended up with me being permanently banned despite not having done anything wrong. lets keep things in perspective please.
I harbour no ill will towards anyone on this site. I just hope that my feelings are reciprocated by all.
Much appreciation and respect,

Nick.

[sandee1818]

I want to add that no one needs anyone's permission to post what they want as this is an open forum. I just believe that the negativity has no place here because we face so much of that everywhere else when it comes to chronic pain.
We only want this to be a safe place for everyone without being judged. I apoligize if I have offended anyone as that was not my intention at all.
I hope that everyone understands that we want only the best to show through here. Right?

[Mollyrae]

I will not carry this any further except that I feel that I do not need to ask permission to comment on a post that I think is deceitful. If I see someone who is here for the wrong reasons, I will offer my opinion...and that's what it is....an opinion

[sandee1818]

Exactly  Mollyrae. We are here NOT to judge but to offer support. Tuckamore and I think that the negative posts that involve judging others is very unbecoming and not at all what we are about here.
If you do not want to alert me or Tuckamore to post that is questionable then hit the report key and Med help will handle it.
Tuckamore and I (as well as the Med help mods) will delete any post that is unsupported and that will cause arguments on the forum.
This is not the place if you what to call people out for being in pain.I understand there are those who come here to decieve us but let Med help handle it and that way we can all be here for support to those who do need it.
Thanks.

[Mollyrae]

I'm not mad at all, just disappointed.

[Mollyrae]

To Sandee and Tuckamore:

I have to say that I am disappointed. A few of us feel like we have to have your approval when posting lately. We have been around long enough to know when someone is being deceitful. We are not so quick to jump. We discuss this first.

This is everyone's forum and our opinion counts as much as the next persons. You said that ppl are hesitant to post when observing the forum....Well, that is how you're making us feel, hesitant.

We are kind and compassionate and also saddened at the posters who are very obvious when surfing for the wrong information. We are not here to judge anyone, we are here for support and guidance.

Thanks

[sandee1818]

True no one is perfect. This post is just a kind reminder to all members. We have to very careful not to judge people without first knowing all the facts. As Tuck and I said it will make other members as well as new members hesitant to post. If you will remember how you felt when you first became a part of the community, I know some hoped they were not labeled as drug abusers as that is very common every where else. We want the PM community to be a safe place for those who need it and if you suspect someone is not being truthful and are trying to abuse the forum for information then please let me or Tuckamore know and we will handle it.
Thanks nick.

[nick30]

Hi all,
Is this in response to a particular post or person?
I personally feel that many members(including some of the newer ones, and the ones who have chosen to post more than they used to)have been particularly helpful in recent times. Sure there are occasional problems from time to time, but these problems go both ways. sometimes our regular members aren't treated with respect. even dishonesty can be taken as being offensive.
If there is indeed a particular person who has been offended then I think it would help if we knew so that steps could be taken to ensure that the person involved can be welcomed back into the forum in an appropriate manner.
As for sending people to other forums, this is usually done not in an attempt to make them someone else's problem, but genuinely because we may feel that others are more able to evaluate and give better advice due to thier own personal experiences which some of us on this forum may lack.
I have personally told several people recently that they may get better help on other forums but also that they are welcome here and can post in both without any problems.
I understand that we are all expected to maintain a high standard on this forum, but I think we all know that at times it can be difficult to be perfect as we are only human.
We all try our best, but none of us are perfect.
Best wishes to all.

Nick.

[Tuckamore]

Sandee and I have been discussing this issue and I agree with her wholeheartedly. We want this to be a sanctum for those that suffer with CP as I hope you all want also. I just have a few thoughts to add.

Please remember too that we have many chronic pain ppl that just monitor our site. They read the threads, gathering information, seek support through them and sometimes wait to get up the courage to post or wait for the right moment. If they see responses that are not kind and supportive they may never post. Or we risk scaring away someone, including current members that truly need our support and information.

Not every one is articulate in explaining their pain, problems or symptoms. Yes there are a small number of ppl that come here for the wrong reasons but there are many more that some here looking for answers and/or support. None of us should be so quick to judge or just send someone to another forum.

I feel that I 'know' most of our members to some degree. You are kind, caring and supportive. Please let that show in your responses. If you have nothing positive to add, please refrain from responding. Any of you should feel free to notify me, Sandee or MH if you think a thread is not legitimate. I beleive we are all here for the same reason(s), let's not loose sight of that.

Thank you all for the support, information and guidance that you usually give to one another, including me. Let's continue to grow and make this community a great place.