Aa
Too many hours in the day???
When I worked full-time and was taking care of four kids without any help from the ex and was also seeing my parents every day when my mom was dying, I seemed to be way more organized. We had REAL meals every night, the house was reasonably clean (laundry was a bit of a problem). I drove the kids to their friends and sports. Hit the gym most mornings around 4:15 a.m. I worked on my transcripts from court, chatted with my neighbors, and even though things were busy, it was good.
You would think with not working I would be super organized. But I'm not. I don't know if it's that I figure, "Oh, well, I'll get to that later," or what it is. My laundry is never caught up. I really only cook a great meal twice a week. Other than that I order take-out, make grilled cheese, pancakes, something simple.
My kids are older now and way more self-sufficient. My dad doesn't require much from me. A few rides here and there and his laundry. But I am not the same organized, fast-moving woman I used to be. I don't know if it's the pain, depression or what.
I so want my house to be perfectly clean and nice meals every night. I have no idea why I can't get out of my own way. I waste so much time playing on the computer, watching sitcoms and documentaries. I'm exhausted from not sleeping enough ... I fall asleep for a couple of hours and then I'm up on and off most of the night.
Every night I tell myself tomorrow will be different. Tomorrow is the day I'm going to do it all. And on occasion, I make a pretty good dent. But after a few days of it, the pain will flare up to the point that for the next four days I do absolutely nothing.
My mom was a chronic pain patient without any of the options I had. I remember telling her she needed to pace herself, set a schedule. She would do what I'd do ... overdo it, get overwhelmed and in pain and exhausted and wind up in bed for days. She would tell me how useless she felt. And I'd empathize with her and we'd talk about how she would feel better if she set a schedule, like get up a 8:00, eat, read the paper, do a load of laundry and then go rest. And we'd talk about her taking her meds on time (she didn't want to be an addict at 80,) and using more than one thing to get relief. But she was never able to manage to do it. It was such a cycle and I could tell at the end she was depressed and apathetic.
And I find myself in the same boat. Thing is, she had chronic pain for 40 years and it was really only in the last 5 or 10 that she was the way I am now ... and the worst of my pain has only been going on 6 years. (I had fibromyalgia diagnosed 10 or 11 years ago, but I had that under good control.)
I guess this is just a rant or a vent. I know what I NEED to do but I just can't seem to DO it. Does anyone else feel like this? Sometimes I think I have just too much time on my hands and too much time to think.
You would think with not working I would be super organized. But I'm not. I don't know if it's that I figure, "Oh, well, I'll get to that later," or what it is. My laundry is never caught up. I really only cook a great meal twice a week. Other than that I order take-out, make grilled cheese, pancakes, something simple.
My kids are older now and way more self-sufficient. My dad doesn't require much from me. A few rides here and there and his laundry. But I am not the same organized, fast-moving woman I used to be. I don't know if it's the pain, depression or what.
I so want my house to be perfectly clean and nice meals every night. I have no idea why I can't get out of my own way. I waste so much time playing on the computer, watching sitcoms and documentaries. I'm exhausted from not sleeping enough ... I fall asleep for a couple of hours and then I'm up on and off most of the night.
Every night I tell myself tomorrow will be different. Tomorrow is the day I'm going to do it all. And on occasion, I make a pretty good dent. But after a few days of it, the pain will flare up to the point that for the next four days I do absolutely nothing.
My mom was a chronic pain patient without any of the options I had. I remember telling her she needed to pace herself, set a schedule. She would do what I'd do ... overdo it, get overwhelmed and in pain and exhausted and wind up in bed for days. She would tell me how useless she felt. And I'd empathize with her and we'd talk about how she would feel better if she set a schedule, like get up a 8:00, eat, read the paper, do a load of laundry and then go rest. And we'd talk about her taking her meds on time (she didn't want to be an addict at 80,) and using more than one thing to get relief. But she was never able to manage to do it. It was such a cycle and I could tell at the end she was depressed and apathetic.
And I find myself in the same boat. Thing is, she had chronic pain for 40 years and it was really only in the last 5 or 10 that she was the way I am now ... and the worst of my pain has only been going on 6 years. (I had fibromyalgia diagnosed 10 or 11 years ago, but I had that under good control.)
I guess this is just a rant or a vent. I know what I NEED to do but I just can't seem to DO it. Does anyone else feel like this? Sometimes I think I have just too much time on my hands and too much time to think.
Mellie....ah sweetie....your post wasn't negative...it was a needful vent.That's what this forum is all about..information yes...but just as importantly listening and supporting one another.... So vent away!
We often beat ourselves up because we do not meet the perfection standard we set for ourselves. We have to remember we set that unrealistic standard....one that even a healthy person could not consistently meet.....we must be kinder to ourselves.
Any of us should feel free to vent and not worry if it sounds negative or not. We've all been there...we all get it. And yes Mellie, thank goodness we're not alone. :o)
((HUGS))
~Tuck
We often beat ourselves up because we do not meet the perfection standard we set for ourselves. We have to remember we set that unrealistic standard....one that even a healthy person could not consistently meet.....we must be kinder to ourselves.
Any of us should feel free to vent and not worry if it sounds negative or not. We've all been there...we all get it. And yes Mellie, thank goodness we're not alone. :o)
((HUGS))
~Tuck
Awww, Sara!!!! Might make you feel a LITTLE better to know that I wasn't able to go with Olivia to get her dress for her first dance. Or her second. Out of all her prom, I was only able to go once. My sister took her the other times. But I could see it bothered her a bit. And it bothered me a lot. Even some of her college tours I couldn't go on. I think I did two (and they were a challenge.) Those things really hurt to not be able to do them.
Tuck, thanks. You have wonderful way of looking at things in such a positive way. I don't wish these strange sleeping hours on anyone but it's comforting to know there are others in the same boat. I'm not sure if my disturbed sleep comes from the pain waking me, the need to take another pain med, or if I've just so disrupted my sleep that it's hard to get a normal night's sleep.
I sometimes hesitate to make these somewhat negative posts. I think we have enough negativity in general in our lives. But when I'm beating myself up over my lack of perfection and it lasts more than a few days, I figure a vent at least will make me feel a tiny bit better. At best, I find I am so not alone in what's going on.
So, thank you, ladies, for making me realize that once again I am not alone :)
Tuck, thanks. You have wonderful way of looking at things in such a positive way. I don't wish these strange sleeping hours on anyone but it's comforting to know there are others in the same boat. I'm not sure if my disturbed sleep comes from the pain waking me, the need to take another pain med, or if I've just so disrupted my sleep that it's hard to get a normal night's sleep.
I sometimes hesitate to make these somewhat negative posts. I think we have enough negativity in general in our lives. But when I'm beating myself up over my lack of perfection and it lasts more than a few days, I figure a vent at least will make me feel a tiny bit better. At best, I find I am so not alone in what's going on.
So, thank you, ladies, for making me realize that once again I am not alone :)
Y'all certainly aren't alone. My house is sometimes presentable. Time was, it was always clean. Occasionally I'm able to dust and clean but I just can't vacuum. The kids are really great about helping. But I can't even pull the towels out of the washer. Hurts my hands. Same with folding.
I try to cook when I can. If I can cook 3 times a week, I feel lucky. The pain has been so bad lately that I wasn't able to go with my daughter and my new "adopted" daughter (a friend who is living with us to finish her senior year) to go choose homecoming dance dresses. I did go yesterday to find some shoes, jewelry and get their hair cut. So I've been down today and will probably be down tomorrow. I cannot begin to tell you how badly that hurt not to be able to go choose their dresses. My daughter's first dance and I'm too sick and in too much pain. It really stinks. Could barely stop crying.
And organization, what organization? I just try to remember where I last saw it. And with my memory now, that's a joke. So yeah, day to day, life stinks.
I try to cook when I can. If I can cook 3 times a week, I feel lucky. The pain has been so bad lately that I wasn't able to go with my daughter and my new "adopted" daughter (a friend who is living with us to finish her senior year) to go choose homecoming dance dresses. I did go yesterday to find some shoes, jewelry and get their hair cut. So I've been down today and will probably be down tomorrow. I cannot begin to tell you how badly that hurt not to be able to go choose their dresses. My daughter's first dance and I'm too sick and in too much pain. It really stinks. Could barely stop crying.
And organization, what organization? I just try to remember where I last saw it. And with my memory now, that's a joke. So yeah, day to day, life stinks.
Hi Millie,
My heart goes out to you. I think there is a bit of truth and answers in everything you have said.
Yes you have more time and therefore we sometimes are not as organized. We tell ourselves we'll get to it later...or next. Sometimes later or next never comes. Procrastination is so easy to do....especially when we have so much pain.
Our computer opens up a world of support and friends. It's so easy to go to it because we want to check on this person or that...or see who might need a hug. So we do it. Time gets away from us quickly.
It may not comfort you but it's nice to know that I am not the only one that falls asleep for a bit and than is awake for most the night. Only I seem to power nap for 20-40 minutes and than I'm up all night. Not fun! The challenges that my chronic pain bring into my life daily seems to indicate the need for these naps....just enough sleep to take the edge off and then the pain keeps me awake. It's a vicious circle. So I know where you are coming from!
Of course CP also brings a certain amount of depression.....so we must add that into the mix. When you hurt with every activity it's natural to want to put off the things that increase that pain.
When we had active careers we were forced to be organized, forced to do the things that increased our physical and mental pain. If not we'd never get anything done. We were taught to be good loyal and productive employees. Were most of us taught how to deal with chronic pain and the hourly or minute to minute problems that are associated with it?
So it's no wonder that you or anyone of us are struggling with organization. Like you I know all the things we should do...but maybe like you getting myself going is another thing....I haven't any great answers or I'd be greatly organized. :o) Maybe some of our members will have better answers. If not just know that you are not alone.
~Tuck
My heart goes out to you. I think there is a bit of truth and answers in everything you have said.
Yes you have more time and therefore we sometimes are not as organized. We tell ourselves we'll get to it later...or next. Sometimes later or next never comes. Procrastination is so easy to do....especially when we have so much pain.
Our computer opens up a world of support and friends. It's so easy to go to it because we want to check on this person or that...or see who might need a hug. So we do it. Time gets away from us quickly.
It may not comfort you but it's nice to know that I am not the only one that falls asleep for a bit and than is awake for most the night. Only I seem to power nap for 20-40 minutes and than I'm up all night. Not fun! The challenges that my chronic pain bring into my life daily seems to indicate the need for these naps....just enough sleep to take the edge off and then the pain keeps me awake. It's a vicious circle. So I know where you are coming from!
Of course CP also brings a certain amount of depression.....so we must add that into the mix. When you hurt with every activity it's natural to want to put off the things that increase that pain.
When we had active careers we were forced to be organized, forced to do the things that increased our physical and mental pain. If not we'd never get anything done. We were taught to be good loyal and productive employees. Were most of us taught how to deal with chronic pain and the hourly or minute to minute problems that are associated with it?
So it's no wonder that you or anyone of us are struggling with organization. Like you I know all the things we should do...but maybe like you getting myself going is another thing....I haven't any great answers or I'd be greatly organized. :o) Maybe some of our members will have better answers. If not just know that you are not alone.
~Tuck
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