chronic pain 7 years

[pamelachronicpain]

I have had this chronic pain for 7 years My lower back won't let me stand sit walk for long without needing to lay down. I had 2 accidents at work and on comp for 7 years. They tried everything thing but still in this pain.I had 2 operation. March 2008 S1 (fusion) The first one the bottom right screw went in crooked. it hit my big nerve going down my right leg and the top hurting my hip bone.but it took away my sciatica from my left leg. My right foot burns off like in a fire and couldn't walk on it my shin is still numb this operation was two years ago the student doctor put the screw in wrong the second operation in Sept 2008 made my nerve from my spin to my neck go down my left arm, nerve pain. Now I'm still in chronic pain with all this too. I did lots of drugs to help the chronic pain but didn't work. My orthopedic surgeon doctor said I have to learn to live with my chronic pain. I have been told i have a thyroid also myafacial or fibromyaliga. I have no life now. I have been weaned down my drugs. I didn't want to be on them for many reasons they didn't work enough anyways. I'm missing all important events my two boys I have like my 15 year old's grade 8 grad that he keeps telling me how mad he was that I wasn't there. I'm on lyrica 150 mg 2 two times a day for nerve pain and fibromyaliga and amitriptyline 10mg at bed time, for my burning foot now I can walk on for short periods. clonazepam 2mg at bed time or when i can't take the pain during the day I'll try to sleep, if that doesn't work I'll do shots of alcohol. that inflame me, my feet get so big I can't put my shoes on to go out in the back yard to lay and get sun or the hot tub.I take eltroxin for thyriod  o.05 mg I never had till after operation. baclofen 10 mg for when I have spasms witch I take 1 tab three times a day. Now I only take oxycodone hcl/acet a5/325 every 4hours to three hours and smoke pot to help my pain. I can't do nothing with out flaring up my pain in my back, neck, burning foot and arm and whole body pain unbearable. I wake around 12 noon I make my self get out of bed because I'm in so much pain when I wake not like when I was taking hydromorphone that worked for 12 hours.I can't sleep all night. I don't live with my children anymore because I can't look after them or my self. It was a God sent that I found my boyfriend on the internet that takes care of me, my family looks after one of my boys. The 15 year old lives with his no rule dad. I have to have my boyfriend drive an hour to see my children, because my boyfriend lives an hour away from my house. So I have physical and mental pain. Living without my boys kills me, but no one can live in my house and look after all of us. Is there a way to find out my problems not my symptoms, and the right drugs to help all the pain that won't kill me earlier. I'm beautiful in looks and had an awesome spirit now its all shot away. I try so hard to not show my pain in front of my boys when I see them but they right away say they can see it. So now when I want to see them they say they are busy, and I know it's because they don't want to hurt me anymore than I am in pain. I just want so bad to have my life back. I'm so depressed. The only one I have now is my God sent boyfriend and he has his 14 year old daughter he has full time cause his x lives out west with her first love. The daughter doesn't want to get close to me cause it would hurt her mother so all I really have is my boyfriend that drives for the city and these 4 wall in his bedroom. And I brought my hot tub here too. I make myself go out and try to live a normal life but when I get back I'm in bed for three days with unbearable pain that no drugs take away. I even pace myself but that don't work. In my neck c3456 are bulging and L5 L4. I'm so scared to do anything to hurt even more, that I can't take. I worked for Fedex as a couirer and sales as a single mom I did very well my children had everything they needed and wanted and in June 2009 they let me go cause my adjudicator showed them my permanent impaired papers from my orthopedic surgeon doctor. When I called my manager on the floor in the back of my fedex truck in unbearable pain with my cell phone he told me he had no one to cover my route do what you can do. I even had botox put in my lower back to help it, it didn't work. Now I feel like I'm in someone else body and life. I have went to natural paths and on lots of vitamins, ect.    

[Tuckamore]

Hi Pamela,

Welcome to the Pain Management Forum. I am glad that you found us at MedHelp and took the time to share your chronic pain issues.

I am not sure what your question is....you certainly have numerous reasons for chronic pain which disrupts many of our lives as you can attest.

If I understand you correctly the physicians have basically told you to learn to live with your pain and are not controlling or managing it to any great degree. In part that may be due to your age. I encourage you to stop self medicating with any illegal drugs, it will only hinder you in obtaining proper pain management.  

I do not know what state you reside is as that makes a difference in who I would suggest that you consult. If you reside in a state that only PMP are able to prescribe long term narcotics and treat long term chronic pain patients than I suggest that you request a consult with a PMP. There are some good ones out there but drug screens will be required by most pain clinics. If you fail a test you will be dismissed from the clinic in all probability.      

Stress, as you probably know increases our pain levels and it sounds like you have significant stress in your life. I can empathize with the feeling that you are living in someone else's body. My mind wants to do things that my body is incapable of doing. Like you, just getting out of bed some days is a challenge for many of us. Depression often goes hand in hand with chronic pain. We experience many of the stages of grief, as we grieve for our former lifestyle. A pain management therapist may be beneficial for you and is often available through a good pain management clinic.

I am not sure what you refer to when you say you have a permanent impaired papers. If these are permanent disability documents than you may want to consider applying for SSDI. At least making an appointment to discuss this possibility with SS will provide you with some information.

Most adults don't understand chronic pain nor what it means to those of us that are afflicted with it. You can imagine how much more difficult it can be for our children to comprehend.  

In my opinion your first priority is to get your chronic pain managed, or under control. Once you do that other things in your life will come together or at the very least you can begin working at them. If in your state (as it is in mine) your PCP treats and prescribes for their chronic pain patients then you may have to find a new PCP. Whatever it takes to obtain medical treatment to make you more comfortable seems to me to be the first matter at hand. Whatever you do refuse to continue on as you are now. Be assertive. You are your own best health care advocate.

I hope you will become active in our community. I have found our members to be very supportive and informational. Just  chatting with others that are in the same or similar situation has been beneficial. Please let us know how you are doing. I will look forward to your updates.

Take Care,
~Tuck  

[skmedlin27703]

Sounds like you are going through alot... Living in pain is difficult and accepting it at a young age is even worse.  You mentioned that the "hydromorphone" worked for you... what made you stop taking it?  I am on the Fentanyl patch and oxycodone.  I used to take hydromorphone for breakthru but my body adapted to the hydromorphone and the doctor had to switch me back to oxycodone.  After my ankle fusion my dose was doubled.  I have not been able to make it back to the lower dose.  I work full time which is difficult when your co-workers don't understand or care that you are hurting... so you keep trucking which sound like what you just keep doing.  I have a perm disability rating from my doctor but I have not filed for disability b/c I am still working full time. It's a double edged sword.